a little bit of overwhelm

I am nearly halfway through my second week of maternity leave. It’s amazing how quickly it passes compared with how long the “waiting for it” seemed to take. My first week home was productive. I worked my way down my to-do list like a busy, little bee. Week two, on the other hand, not so much. The past few days have been… annoying. There was a clogged toilet. (Who the hell knew that baby wipes are kryptonite to toilets!?) There is an ongoing incident with our crib — so disappointing but I don’t want to get into it right now. And there are a bunch of other to-do’s that really need to get done but are just not fun like figuring out how to get rid of our extra REFRIGERATOR, cancelling a gym membership when there is a pushy sales guy involved, and other such inconveniences.

For the past couple of days, I’ve been paralyzed by it all. It was a classic, “I have too much to do, so I am going to do nothing” scenario. Maybe I did a few things — ran errands for Matthew, paid our taxes, went food shopping — but mostly I sat on the couch, ate crap, and watched an entire season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. 🙁

Today, I am back on the wagon. I got an early start and got to work. Last night I gave myself a kick in the backside. I am 37 weeks now — full term — and baby boy could be here any day. If I think that things are “hard” now, I can only imagine what it will be like when I am trying to do all of this + care for a newborn. I don’t have to get everything done, but I do want to stay productive. I am shifting my attitude. Writing out a to-do list each day is the best possible thing to accomplish this. It helps me stay focused on ONE THING AT A TIME which is critical to eliminating the debilitating “overwhelm.” It also feels amazing to physically cross things off the list. There is such satisfaction in that little action.

With all of this said, I also recognize how important it is that I take care of myself now. It is so important that I remain mindful of the incredible miracle that is going on inside of me. It is so important that I remember that there is a little human inside of me getting ready to come out into the world very, very soon. I must honor my body + my soul. I must remember what is truly important. Life is all about balance. I am so grateful to be going through all of this. It’s just the reminder that I need as I move into my next phase of life: motherhood. Life is crazy. Advice to myself: There will always be ten thousand things that need doing — just do what you can. Worry is wasteful + useless. xo