Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Sometime in the last month, Roman started to read. Of all of the miraculous things I have witnessed in my time as his mother, this has perhaps been the most amazing.

Somehow, I have always struggled to imagine that tremendous leap that occurs when a child goes from not reading to reading. It is the most precious of moments–something like the most beautiful light shining into a world of previous darkness. Like that moment when the Wizard of Oz switches from black & white to color, pure magic.

Back when I was homeschooling him and teaching him his letters, the idea that he would one day be reading almost felt like an impossibility. And yet, here he is reading. He knows all of his sight words and he is sounding out more words by the day. It is the most incredible blessing to witness.

I also feel like his kindergarten teacher (and all kindergarten teachers, really!) is a true angel here on earth. I cannot even for one moment imagine what it takes to have the patience and love to lead a group of five-year-olds, who at the start of the year hardly knew how to write their own name, and teach them in about 4 months to begin reading. It’s absolutely extraordinary.

It has always been my prayer that my children would one day love to read, as I do. I have always been an avid reader and books have enriched my life in every conceivable way. Many of my earliest & fondest memories are of me cuddled up somewhere, reading a book. I read and I read and I read through elementary school and then as I got older I continued to read. At some point in college I got a job in a bookstore and at that point I started reading feverishly. Some seasons of my life have been more conducive to reading than others, but eventually I always come back to the joy of reading. I wholeheartedly pray that my children will find the same joy between the magical pages of books.

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5
Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Aside from reading and writing, kindergarten has been shaping my boy in so many beautiful, and sometimes challenging, ways. He has definitely blossomed and matured. Spending so much time away from each other has certainly transformed both of us. It has forced him to become more independent. He has always been cautious and a hesitant decision maker–I was always there to help him make decisions–but now his confidence is growing and his ability to make choices is coming with it.

As for me, spending time away from him has forced me to look hard at my own life and make decisions about who I am and who I will be, not just as a mother now, but as a woman. It’s been an intense time of growth, sadness, joy, and mostly transformation. All of these things I can thank my beautiful boy for. He made me a mother, and thus, he allowed me to fulfill my destiny in this life, because surely I have never had a greater gift and responsibility than nurturing my children.

I have also, in this time, re-discovered who I am separate from motherhood and how I need to simultaneously care for myself so that I can, in turn, be the best mother that I am capable of being. That ever-present and important reminder, that we cannot pour from an empty vessel.

Roman James @ 5.5
Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5
Roman James @ 5.5

At five years + 8 months, Roman is sweet, smart, silly, curious and kind. Sometimes I look at this big, strong, boy and I cannot help but wonder where my tiny baby went. But in that aching, there is such a profound joyous gratitude. I could not be more proud and more in love. I thank God and all of the angels for my precious boy every day. I love you, Roman.

Roman James @ 5.5

Roman James @ 5.5

You’ll never know, Dear, how much I love you. ♥

Leave a Comment