marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

Most of the time these posts start off along the lines of — “I can’t believe my baby is three-months-old already!” — but that’s simply not the case this time around, friends. I can believe it. In fact, if I wrote that she was six-months-old, or even six-years-old, I’d believe that, too. Marina’s second and third months of life were nightmarish at times. There were hours, days, and weeks that dragged on excruciatingly slowly. She screamed and cried more than I can put into words. This painful period has taken so much from us, that sometimes it’s hard to believe that she is only three-months-old.

For two months, every day has been a fight. I, Matthew, and even Roman, have fought every day to keep our heads above water. We have fought to keep our sanity. We have fought to keep the household functioning. We have fought to remember how much we all love one another. We have fought to believe that all of this will pass, that one day everything will be okay again and this, too, will be a distant memory.

There’s no telling all that we have done to try and soothe her. I can’t explain how much time I’ve spent driving around aimlessly. I couldn’t begin to explain how many circles M. and I have made walking around the yard with her in our arms. I can’t explain the look of horror on the cashier’s faces at the checkout line in the grocery store. I can’t explain the intensity or the pitch of those blood curdling screams or what it does to our hearts and our nerves.

I pray with everything inside of me that she will not remember these awful days. Or, if she remembers anything, I hope that she remembers how desperately I tried to console her; how I held her tiny body in my arms & channeled every ounce of my love into her; how I did everything within my power to make her feel better; how I whispered to her — I love you. It’s okay baby, Mama loves you. I’m right here. I won’t leave you. — over & over & over again.

These past two months have reminded me of treading water. Kicking and kicking and paddling and using all of the body’s might — just to remain still in the water, just to keep from going on under. But what matters, is that we’ve done it (we’re doing it) and we’ve made it to three months. That’s a big deal. Three months means hope. Roman went through lots of positive change starting at three months, and I have a lot of faith that Marina will do the same. We’ve come through the hardest part and we’re going forward now. We’re moving into a place where we can all find peace once again, where we can enjoy one another’s company, laugh, sing, play — all the good stuff.

Despite how hard it has been, it has also been beautiful. Throughout this last month, baby girl has been changing & growing like wildfire. She got the sweetest little rolls in her wrists and thighs. She’s got the sweetest, fullest Buddha belly. She has the brightest, warmest smile that just lights up the room. She coos and she “talks” and it just makes our hearts melt. Recently she’s become quite a mover & shaker. She wiggles across the floor. She’s come very close to rolling over a few times! Her legs are powerful and she can spring herself up like nobody’s business!

There is lots and lots of good in between all of the madness. As hard as it’s been, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’d do it all again forever if it meant getting to call this sweet, little girl my very own.

With all of this being said, over the past three days, there has been a change in the air. We’ve had a few car rides and one shopping trip that involved very little screaming. It might not sound like much, but for us it’s a really big deal. Best of all, she had the longest nap of her life (two whole hours!) the other day and she’s had a few stretches of sleep on her own! Again, these things might seem little, but they’re giant leaps forward for us and we’re praying hard that we are turning a corner.

Here we are at three months. Marina Grace gets sweeter and more beautiful with each day that passes. Yes, we’ve got our rough — really rough — times, but it’s all worth it. My love for her is boundless and I thank God for her. She was the piece of our puzzle that was missing and she has made our family complete.

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

marina grace at three months // livelovesimple.com

It’s June and the weather is sweet and there are wildflowers everywhere. I hope you don’t mind seeing lots of photographs of my sweet girl surrounded by flowers because there are lots & lots of those to come. I’ve been dreaming of this little girl all of my life. She is my dream come true, my sweetest wish. My cup runneth over. ♥


2 thoughts on “Three-Month-Old Marina Grace”

  1. Your daughter is soooo beautiful and so are the photos that you take of her. I’m happy the past 3 days have been better, hopefully it’s a sign that things are changing for real and will continue to. Good luck strong momma!

  2. Don’t mind at all, keep ’em coming!!! She’s soooo yummy. I’m very much looking forward to 3 months. Sucks that I’ve been wanting time to move along faster so that we can finally grow out of these issues. And I know just what you mean about tiny improvements meaning the world! Just today, Margo went our whole car ride to her physical therapy in silence. It’s only a 15 minute ride, but those 15 minutes were AMAZING! Usually she’s screaming.

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