conscious living

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

  • Carousel — 02.26.10

    Snow, snow, and more snow! Are you beginning to notice a theme here? I sure am. We’ve gotten ten inches over the past few days & the forecast calls for at least another 10-15 inches by tomorrow night. I am actually writing this on Thursday (pre-scheduling the post for Friday) because I probably won’t have an internet connection tomorrow. I will be up in the mountains & most likely snowbound.

    Well, I plan on keeping busy & keeping warm this weekend. I hope you do the same where ever you are. I recommend hot cocoa, snowman building, and warm blankets. If you are someplace warm, soak up the sun & be glad!

    Here are this week’s Carousel links. Enjoy!

    1. polaroids from marrakech, morocco: Beautiful photographs from the Our Labor of Love blog. Just looking at these make me warm inside, perfect for a cold Winter’s day.

    2. Be Indispensable: “It’s so sad because people don’t recognize that they have to go that low and wait that long.” I love Gary Vaynerchuk, this guy is probably the single-most passionate individual I’ve ever come across. Enjoy this quick video where he talks about what you need to do to become indispensable. Then go search him on YouTube when you’ve got more time—guaranteed inspiration.

    3. On the importance of “No”: “There are moments when we say ‘yes’ to others and in fact are saying ‘no’ to ourselves.”

    4. 5 ways to escape the escapist weekend: Perfect advice to make the best out of this coming weekend & then all the rest!

    5. How Do You Treat Your Food?: I love this post from the Epic Self blog. It is so important that we apply conscious living to every aspect of our lives—especially when it comes to what we put in our bodies! Being mindful about what we put in our bodies is just as important as being mindful of our thoughts, words, and actions.

    6. Stillness is a Powerful Action: “Let stillness become your most powerful action. It could change your life.” Another great post by Leo! I’ve actually been practicing stillness in my life much more frequently than ever before. The results are amazing—I feel calmer, more energized, and ready to take on the world. Stillness in the middle of a hectic day is priceless.

    7. In Defense Of The Death Penalty: Fascinating post by Tim Brownson about the power of our beliefs & values. Don’t be too put off by the title—there’s a twist.

    8. Creating a Happiness Plan: Attention, everyone! Do you have a happiness plan. If not, what are you waiting for? This post will set you on your way.

    9. the perils of justifying yourself: Leave it to Danielle to press your buttons & make you think. Do you justify yourself? You need to read this.

    Alright friends. That’s it for this week’s Carousel. I hope that you love each of these posts as much as I did. I’ll be braving the blizzard for the next few days. Wish me luck. Have a great weekend and, as always, spread love & light.