I always have.

DenaJuly 15, 2019

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

I am sitting at my desk. It’s Monday morning. I am trying to work but mostly I’m just distracted by the beautiful cacophonous laughter of my babies playing in the next room, as well as the endless stream of social media ever-waiting at my fingertips. We’re 3 or 4 weeks into summer break and any semblance of “balance” that I may have achieved during the school year (which frankly wasn’t much to begin with) has gone out the window entirely.

I’ve been trying for months now to sit down and write about this season of my life. But I sit down to an empty screen and then I get up and walk away from an empty screen. Because how do you write about beauty or terror or magic or love? How do you write about turning 35-years-old and feeling for the first time in your life that you are scratching the surface of who you actually are?

I can only say what I know. I know now that love was never something that I was going to receive from outside of myself, it only comes from within and then gets reflected back to you. Therefore, you should never chase it, only give it and mostly to yourself. And when you understand that, everything will change forever for the better.

I also know that if you work hard, believe in your ability, and stay committed, you can achieve absolutely any goal that you set for yourself. But more important than that is the fact that it doesn’t really matter what you achieve, because the moment that your desire is in your grasp, the bar gets reset. So rather than worrying so much about the outcome, the key to happiness is working hard, believing in your ability, staying committed and enjoying the process.

And finally, I know that magic is at the center of all things. The only thing that we need to do is close our eyes and feel it. Joy is a sun-drenched yard covered in rainbows of wildflowers and I’ve got everything that I’ll ever need, I always have.

Comments (2)

  • Anonymous

    July 15, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    Hope all is well. You always write so beautifully!

    1. Dena

      July 15, 2019 at 2:24 pm

      Thank you, sweet friend. xo

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