intimacy //

Married with Children

DenaAugust 7, 2015

intimacy //

Recently, I stumbled upon the most beautiful post about marriage titled, Intimacy by Luana Holloway. The post starts off: Sometimes I lose my way to you in the day when everything we have created lies between us, the most beautiful obstacles.

How lovely? How poignant? As a wife and a mother I feel like these words were plucked straight from my own heart.

If there’s one thing that we, married people, all know — it is that marriage isn’t easy. Relationships are hard work, but then, most things that are worth having are, aren’t they?

When you add children to the equation, it becomes that much more complex, that much more difficult. All of the things that created and sustained our love get picked up and turned over on their heads when children enter the picture. We face our share of obstacles. Since becoming parents, our relationship has been stretched, pushed, twisted, and tried in ways that I never could have dreamed up. But so it goes.

intimacy //

In the Intimacy post that I mentioned above, Luana writes: During a moment of pain in our relationship you told me that two people who love like we do grow side by side like two trees who’s root systems are completely entwined below the surface – Sturdy – Not for everybody else to see but for us to feel, that you could never separate your life from mine because we had grown together too long. And suddenly I could only love you more.

intimacy //

When I read that, it literally took my breath away for a moment. The words that had been stirring inside of my own heart for so long. There they were, written by another. I’ve come back to that post a few times already. A gentle and beautiful reminder about love and all of the obstacles that can get in the way — least of all, children. And yet, how strong love is; how it is capable of enduring so much; how root systems grow beneath the surface, an indivisible, unseen strength.

intimacy //

Sometimes I lose my way to you in the day when everything we have created lies between us, the most beautiful obstacles. I’m not sure what exactly the beautiful obstacles are that Luana refers to, but as a mother, I imagine that she is referring to her children. As a mother, it’s exactly the way that I feel. Being married with children is absolutely wonderful & absolutely difficult all at once. The bond that you feel in creating life together is incomparable. And yet, the very act of raising children is all-consuming to the point that all other things in your life suffer — including your marriage.

I don’t have any answers. We’re knee-deep in the thick of it ourselves, with a toddler and a newborn and the other ten thousand beautiful obstacles that stand between us day & night. But what I can say is that for every bit as it is hard, it is also wonderful. It’s not perfect (oh, it’s nowhere near perfect) but it’s good and it’s ours and I am ever grateful.

intimacy //

This post is in partnership with, a site that offers sexy lingerie, costumes, and more. The photographs in this post are snaps that I took of a beautiful lace baby doll set that they sent along for my thoughts. It is beautiful, well-made, and exactly the thing to bring any couple closer.

Being a mother is not the sexiest of responsibilities, after all, but a beautiful piece of lingerie can make even the frumpiest of days special. You know, on those extremely rare occasions when both of your babies are asleep at the same time.

Many thanks to for sponsoring this post and thank you for supporting the companies that help to make this blog possible.

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