Stepping Back (But Not Too Far Back)

DenaOctober 20, 2015

At the moment, I have 1,534 unopened emails sitting in my inbox. This is coming from someone who typically panics if I have more than ten unread emails at a given time.

I’m writing this on my phone, just as I have written almost all of the blog posts that I have published in the past seven months. And even if I did have a moment to sit down at my computer, I couldn’t get to it. My desk is literally covered in stuff. We’re neck-deep in yet another big declutter/purge. After this one, our house will finally be parsed down to the bare essentials (plus some toys, crafting supplies, and a few decorations).

It’s fair to say that my life is in shambles to an extent. It’s the reason for the out-of-control inbox; the reason for the haphazard declutter/purge; the reason for the chaos that is presently my life. It’s also the reason that I am going to be stepping back from this space for a little while.

As I said, my life is in shambles a little bit. Many days I’m holding on by a thread. There’s not much more that I can say about it right now. There are big and difficult and scary things happening, things that will dramatically alter the course of my life forever. I’m not trying to be vague. I just can’t talk about it right now. And I don’t want to anyway. I’m not ready.

So, as I trudge through the shit and the beauty of these days & this pivotal moment in my life, I’m going to be away from this space more often than usual. I’ve got to take a step back from everything actually—everything except for those few things that absolutely need my attention (i.e. keeping my family fed, healthy, clean).

I’ve been crafting this post in my head for months. I’ve even started a few different drafts. It’s hard for me to share this, but I feel like it’s important, too.

Thank you, always, for reading & for being a part of my life. Thank you for your warm thoughts, your support, and your kind words. I am so grateful.

More soon. xo

Comments (6)

  • Gillian

    October 21, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Oh lovely girl, my heart feels for you. Whatever you are going through, please know you aren’t alone. You are such a strong woman and you will come through this with grace even if it doesn’t feel graceful at times. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk. Take care of those beautiful babies and don’t forget to love on yourself. Love and peace to you, friend.. <3

    1. Dena

      October 21, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      Thanks, Gillian. Your words mean more than you’ll ever know.

  • Momista Beginnings

    October 22, 2015 at 1:02 am

    Eeek! Oh no 🙁 I’m so sorry, Mama. I have no clue what’s going on, but whatever it is, you’ve got a friend you can talk to here, too. If you should choose to, whenever you’re ready. I’ve been away from my blog, too. Good for you for keeping your priorities in order and giving more attention to what needs it most. I’ve been feeling chaotic and overwhelmed with so much lately. Like Gillian said, you’re not alone. There’s one phrase that I’ve been repeating to myself, though, when I’m feeling in the red or alone or hopeless. No joke, I say, “Well, at least you’re not on a shitty, plastic boat with your family and 10 others, terrified, in the middle of the ocean, trying to sail to another country to escape fear, violence and death from your home.” Because that’s totally happening right now. I immediately feel grateful and thankful and more calm after that. Praying for you. Hoping all is okay! xoxo for you and your family!!

    1. Dena

      October 22, 2015 at 6:49 am

      Thanks so much, Misty. I know I’ve said it before, but I am so very lucky to call you a friend. Thank you for sharing that that about the boat, too. It’s an incredibly humbling thought. It’s so important to maintain perspective. xoxoxo

  • dominique

    October 22, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    I will certainly miss reading while you are away. That being said, you take care of you sweet lady, hope all turns out, and I will always be ready to read when you choose to write.

    1. Dena

      October 22, 2015 at 3:57 pm

      Thank you so much, Dominique. I will still be here just not as often. Your kind words mean so very much to me. <3

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