evolutionyou.net | bride

Becoming Wife

DenaAugust 1, 2012

evolutionyou.net | bride

I love you. You are closest to my heart, closer than any other human being. You are my extension. You are my prayer. You are my belief in God. For better or worse you inherit me. —Anne Sexton

The truth is that I didn’t think it was possible, not for me. Love was something that existed in books and movies, for other people, but never for me. For me, love was only ever one-sided, only ever ended in heartbreak.

And then, there was him.

When we met, it was not a meeting, but a reunion.

One day, within the first week, we sat in his living room and talked about how we must have known one another in a past life. I can’t say that, “I knew we would be married that very first night.” Though I did have a feeling…

It has never been easy. We’ve had to crawl, scratch, and bleed our way here. But it has always been beautiful.

Since our wedding, people keep asking me if I feel different. And in one way, the answer is no. We’ve been together for some six years. We’ve been living together for over four. He has been my partner, my soulmate, my everything for all of these years and like the cliché says, a piece of paper doesn’t change that. But still, something has irrevocably changed.

Now, I am a wife and he is my husband. We are that beautiful, elusive thing that I’d spent a lifetime dreaming of and hoping for. We are it.

Becoming wife means many things to me. It is the knowledge that he intends to love me forever, no matter how silly my hair looks in the morning. It is the hope that come what may we will continue to make one another better people. It is the faith that we will always love one another as we have, as we do, as we will.

Comments (7)

  • Frenchy Caroline

    August 1, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Your post gives me chills Dena…and I recognize myself a lot in what you said at the beginning. I feel like love exists for other people, but not for me because it never had, or maybe for a second many years ago, and even I’m not sure. My heart sank each time I look at beautiful pictures of people getting married, I might not experience this. I want to believe I will but my past love life has been a mess, so why would it change?

    And then I wonder, what should I do? If I never meet this person you’re supposed to live happily ever after, what I’m supposed to? What life should I live?

    So many questions with no answer….

    1. Dena Botbyl

      August 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm

       Oh, dear Caroline. Knowing loneliness and the pain that it can be bring, my heart aches with you. You are so sweet and wonderful. I have to believe that you of all people will find the most wonderful happiness in your life. The only answer that you need is to live. Live with all your heart, all your soul. Do one million things that make you smile. Suck the marrow out of each day. Be fully present. Don’t worry about the future. Enjoy this very moment, and then, and only then, everything will fall into place. <3

      1. Frenchy Caroline

        August 2, 2012 at 7:39 am

         Your sweet words really touched my heart, thank you so much my beautiful friend xxx

  • DMB

    August 2, 2012 at 2:10 am

    I love your words: ”
    It has never been easy. We’ve had to crawl, scratch, and bleed our way here. But it has always been beautiful.”
    I think we romanticize about finally MEETING “the one”, but we tend to under-emphasize the journey that happens AFTER that.  Finding your soul mate doesn’t mean that your life “finally begins” or that you can, at last,  “exhale and move on with the rest of your life” on a new level.  What I think it DOES mean is continuous work to make the choice to create Beauty and Happiness and Pleasure in your life– which doesn’t just “automatically happen” just because you love someone.  Great post.

    1. Dena Botbyl

      August 2, 2012 at 8:52 pm

       Thank you, dear. You are so incredibly right. There is no such thing as “easy” in love. It takes work. There are no quick fixes. Love means dedication, willingness to suffer, and always, always in the end coming back to kindness and respect. It is an unending journey… together. <3

  • Meg | One Love Meg

    August 2, 2012 at 4:55 am

    This is very sweet. I tend to be the fairytale girl… and I hope my life ends with a happy ending. It is so nice to see it (love) is working in your favor. 🙂

    1. Dena Botbyl

      August 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm

      My life is a fairytale because it make it so. I accept nothing less and work hard every day to create magic all around me.

      I love your photographs from Paris, Meg. They are making me nostalgic. xo

Leave a Comment

Prev Post

The deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Next Post

My hair is being pulled by the stars again.