· ·

The Only Thing You Can Control

Hello, sweet friends. I hope that this message finds you well. I received a warm response to my last post about coming back to this space again and it meant the world to me. My creative energies come & go but they are most definitely here more often these days, gratefully.

There is so much that I wish to share, but I still find myself stifled often. So when the mood hits me, I try to take advantage of it fully. Today I was moved to share on the topic of fighting. I hope that this will speak to you.

This is one of those lessons that could have saved me from a lifetime of heartache, but the only way to learn it was to live long enough—and suffer long enough—to understand it. You see, there are a whole lot of us out here who were conditioned to believe that it was our job to make things right.

We are called by many names: fixers, empaths, old souls, highly sensitives, and so on. But at the core, we are fighters. We are humans with a misguided innate desire to “set things right.” Please don’t misunderstand me. It is a noble cause & I know full-well that the intention is good, however, the hard truth is that fighting to make things right is a fruitless cause.

You can fight and fight and fight—fight to change people, fight for a cause, fight for what is right. But in the end, you will never change or influence any of these things. There is only one thing that you can control, one thing that you can change. And that is yourself.

If you want to change the world, start with changing yourself. If you want to change your relationships, start with changing yourself. This is what you can change. This is what you can control. Yourself. Every thing that you do. Every thing that you say. Every thing that you invite. Every thing that you reject. Every thing that you allow. Every boundary that you maintain. Every thing that you put in and on your body.

These, and many others, are the things that you can control: you. Stop fighting to make change outside of you when there is already a war raging inside of you. That is your work, to silence that war. Practice acceptance of all that is. This is where you begin the journey of peace. xo

you may also like

  • · · ·

    Let Go of Your Goals & Unleash Your Dreams

    Dreams are Just as Important as Goals

    I’ve written quite a bit about setting & accomplishing goals; overcoming fears; and making the best out of difficult situations. But what I haven’t written enough about is flat out—unleashing your dreams.

    Goal setting is a very mathematical process. It goes something like this: Define your goal. Map out the steps necessary to achieve it. Research, develop, act. Work until you get there. This is great, it makes sense, it gets things done. However, goals are full of limitations. In order to accomplish Z, first I need to do X and Y. If I want to be in this place by this date, then I’ve got to accomplish X, Y, and Z by this date. And so on and so forth it goes. We plan and work and strive.

    Yes, goal-setting & goal accomplishment are crucial elements to success; but sometimes we have to just let go of our goals and start unleashing our dreams! Throw caution to the wind and go for it. But how?, you ask. Well, you start by defining your dreams & broadcasting them to the world. Today I am going to define my wildest dreams & share them with you.

    “Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” –Ayn Rand

    Why Are We Afraid to Expose Our Dreams?

    To be honest, I am a bit nervous about this. I feel like I am exposing a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden. When you keep your wildest dreams to yourself, you’re safe. If no one knows what you want, then no one can hold you accountable. For example, if your best friend has no idea that you dream of moving to Costa Rica to collect butterflies in the rain forest—then she isn’t going to check in with you once a month and ask where you’re at. If you’re father doesn’t know that you dream of quitting your job to build collectible trains and sell them on Ebay—then he isn’t going to be hounding you with questions about it at the holidays. And when you are not faced with those questions you are safe. Your dreams can stay on the back burner while your life passes you by. You are not held accountable. You don’t experience pressure. But, my friend, today is the day that you must realize something critical: It is pressure that makes diamonds!

    Broadcast Your Desires to the Universe

    Steve Pavlina recently wrote a post called Broadcast Your Desires. In the post, he explains why broadcasting our desires & dreams to the world is the best way to make them a reality. If you can’t broadcast your desires, it’s fair to say that you don’t own them yet. In order to make your desires become real, you’ve got to speak up about them. If you’re going to receive them, then let it be known. If you find it necessary to hide what you desire, that suggests you aren’t ready to receive.

    Well, I am ready to receive! I hope that by taking this step in my own life, I will inspire you to take it in your own. Here I go…!

    My Dreams

    1. Grow evolution you
    I want to take this blog to great heights, attract thousands of readers, inspire people around the world. I want to monetize it so that I can devote myself to improving people’s lives full-time. And as a result, I want to become location independent so that I can travel the world, spreading love & light where ever I go.

    2. Write a book
    I haven’t quite worked out the details of this one yet—it’s a bit ever-evolving. I’ll pin it down soon enough, for now I am just dreaming wildly!

    3. Travel to the Great Pyramids in Egypt
    I feel intimately connected to the people of ancient Egypt. Perhaps it is the beautiful & mysterious way that Ancient Egypt is depicted in films & literature, whatever the cause, the very idea of it thrills me. I have long dreamed of visiting & exploring the ancient pyramids for myself.

    4. Learn to speak French

    5. Spend time living & working in Europe
    Italy, France, and Belgium all seem such lovely places to me. I’d like to spend at least a few months in each place.

    6. Safari in Africa
    This is the only dream on the list that I already accomplished. In the Summer of 2006 I studied abroad in Kenya, studying, on safari, and touring. It was a truly incredible experience and I’ll be making a post about it soon.

    7. Live in the wilderness
    I am insanely attracted to nature. In fact, I am quite convinced that I am a tigress/she-wolf/mermaid trapped in the body of a human woman. I feel most at home in nature—in the mountains, near the sea, anywhere wild. I’ve long dreamed of escaping the civilization circa Into the Wild. It would certainly not be a permanent thing; but I’d love to experience it at least for a few weeks to see how long I’d last.

    8. Have or adopt a baby
    Last February my sister gave birth to me beautiful Godson, Brian. Ever since then, I’ve heard the ticking of my own biological clock a tad louder than before. I am not in any rush, as you can see I’ve got a lot I want to do before I am quite ready to “settle down” but it is definitely an enormous dream of mine, some day.

    9. Spend time on a Native American reservation
    I’d like to spend some time living or at least working/volunteering on a reservation. I am passionate about Native American culture and it would be a great honor to serve the Native American people in some capacity and to learn first-hand their cultures, traditions, and needs.

    10. Serve on the Board of Directors for a prominent wildlife conservation foundation

    11. Visit a Buddhist monastery in Tibet

    ——————————–

    These are not all of my dreams, not nearly, but the list could go on and on. For now, these are the ones that I am working toward—in the near & distant—future. It was not nearly as difficult to share them as I thought it would be! This list will be ever-evolving and I will update it as my dreams are accomplished and as they change.

    Alright, I did my part. Now it’s your turn! I would love to hear about your big dreams in the comments or if you make your own big dream post please let me know about it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *