The Only Thing You Can Control

DenaApril 15, 2022

Hello, sweet friends. I hope that this message finds you well. I received a warm response to my last post about coming back to this space again and it meant the world to me. My creative energies come & go but they are most definitely here more often these days, gratefully.

There is so much that I wish to share, but I still find myself stifled often. So when the mood hits me, I try to take advantage of it fully. Today I was moved to share on the topic of fighting. I hope that this will speak to you.

This is one of those lessons that could have saved me from a lifetime of heartache, but the only way to learn it was to live long enough—and suffer long enough—to understand it. You see, there are a whole lot of us out here who were conditioned to believe that it was our job to make things right.

We are called by many names: fixers, empaths, old souls, highly sensitives, and so on. But at the core, we are fighters. We are humans with a misguided innate desire to “set things right.” Please don’t misunderstand me. It is a noble cause & I know full-well that the intention is good, however, the hard truth is that fighting to make things right is a fruitless cause.

You can fight and fight and fight—fight to change people, fight for a cause, fight for what is right. But in the end, you will never change or influence any of these things. There is only one thing that you can control, one thing that you can change. And that is yourself.

If you want to change the world, start with changing yourself. If you want to change your relationships, start with changing yourself. This is what you can change. This is what you can control. Yourself. Every thing that you do. Every thing that you say. Every thing that you invite. Every thing that you reject. Every thing that you allow. Every boundary that you maintain. Every thing that you put in and on your body.

These, and many others, are the things that you can control: you. Stop fighting to make change outside of you when there is already a war raging inside of you. That is your work, to silence that war. Practice acceptance of all that is. This is where you begin the journey of peace. xo

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