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How to Survive & Thrive When You Hate Your Job

 

Lately I’ve read hundreds of articles with titles like “Quit Your Job Today and Move to Costa Rica” “Quit Your Job Today and Find Freedom” and the ever-popular “Quit Your Job Today and Pursue Your Passion.” Well, I am not saying that any of those things are bad ideas and I am certainly not saying that you shouldn’t pursue your passion or that you should stay in a job you hate. But what I am saying is that sometimes quitting your job today is not the best choice. And that does not mean that you are making excuses or practicing fear-based thought. It just means that right now, quitting your job is not practical or wise.

This article is going to talk about how to take the correct steps so that you can practically and safely quit your job without putting yourself at risk for a professional failure or a major financial loss.

My own present situation has inspired me to write this post. Long story short—I grew up in a lower, middle-class family. My parents are both hardworking, my mother an administrator in a hospital and my father a bricklayer in the union. I was the first, and only, one in my family to attend and graduate college. My parents were able to help me, financially, with my first two years of school and after that I was on my own. I had no guidance and like so many people in my generation I fell victim to the evils of Sallie Mae and the “easy” loans they offered me. One liberal arts degree later and I came out of school with just under $50,000 in student loan debt. So that’s where I am at now, almost three years out of college, and slowly chipping away at the mountain.

While it might be nice to “quit my job tomorrow” and move to Costa Rica or pursue my dream of becoming a life coach and motivational speaker full-time — it is not the right time for me to do that, right now. Instead, I am working full-time at an association where I have a steady paycheck, excellent benefits, and enough money to put a little bit away each month in savings after paying out all of my bills.

So, while my current job may not exactly be “dream” material, I am making it work in my favor. Not only am I making enough money to pay down my debt, but I am also putting money in savings and believe it or not, I am getting a lot of other great things out of the experience, too. Even if your current job is not perfect and even if it doesn’t have anything to do with your dream career, there are lots of ways to make it a personally rewarding and fulfilling experience.

Focus on the Positive
Focusing on the positive is the key to life. Seriously, if you can manage to shift your thought to focus on the positive things around you, you will succeed every single time. It’s really simple — focus on the negative and be miserable, depressed, and unsuccessful or — focus on the positive and be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Which one will you choose?

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” —Mohandas Gandhi

No matter what your job is, there are good points about it. Whether you like it or not, the economy sucks right now. Approximately 195 million people around the world are unemployed and that statistic was taken before the economy took its recent nosedive. Whatever your job is, you are making money. Maybe you can afford to put food in your child’s mouth, maybe you can afford to put a shirt on your own back, maybe you can afford a lot of things and every time you start to complain, think about all of the people who can’t do those things. Think about the mother who can’t put food in her baby’s mouth or the man on the street, in the snow, who doesn’t have a shirt on his back. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

Aside from a paycheck, I know that there are a lot of other really good things about your job. Maybe it’s the view from the window on the second floor or the smile on the janitor’s face in the afternoon or maybe you are the janitor and it’s the steaming hot cup of coffee that you enjoy each morning at the start of your shift. Whatever it is, it’s there. You have to find it.

There are lots of little things to be grateful for, focus on those. …Or focus on the negatives and be miserable. You decide.

Change Someone’s Life
Every single day I wake up and I ask myself, How am I going to change someone’s life today? You do not realize it, but you have a tremendous power inside of you. Every single person has the ability to touch lives all the time and most people don’t even realize it. Life-changing gestures can be small — open the door for someone, smile at the people you pass in the hall, go out of your way to help a colleague with a difficult task. They can be large too — practice kindness at all times, be a mentor, donate money or time to a charity. The opportunities to positively impact people’s lives are limitless. Again, this is a choice that you make — every single day.

Do you walk around with a grimace? Refuse to help people in need out of selfishness? Cut people off in traffic? Rely on other members of your team to get the job done?

If you honestly answered yes to any of those questions then maybe you need to re-look at why you hate your job so much.

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” —Wayne Dyer

When you choose happiness and kindness, those things will come back to you. It happens in all areas of life but it’s really important to practice at your place of work. Karma is real and good things do happen to good people.

Whether you are a global peace ambassador or a clerk at McDonald’s you truly have the ability to change someone’s life each day. How will you choose to spend your time?

Work Really Hard, Lookout for Yourself, Succeed
This last one is the kicker. It’s all about attitude. Here’s my attitude: I am going to shine at every single thing that I do. I am going to work my ass off until I see positive results. When I fall, I am going to get back up, every, single time.

I am twenty-five years old and I’ve had at least fifteen different jobs. I’ve been a waitress, a coffee seller, a library page, a camp counselor, a retail employee, and an administrative manager to name a few. Now I know what you’re thinking — fifteen jobs in twenty-five years — what’s to be proud of?! Well… I’ve never been fired from a job. I’ve always left on great terms with my employers and each of my former employers has offered to serve as a reference for me in the future. I’ve also found something to love about every single job I’ve ever had. I’ve learned a tremendous amount in each position, and I’ve gotten promoted, across the board, at each place that I’ve ever worked.

I think that those are some tremendous accomplishments and I want yo
u to know that you are capable of doing the exact same thing. Just adopt the right attitude. I am going to shine at every single thing that I do. I am going to work my ass off until I see positive results. When I fall, I am going to get back up, every, single time. And never, ever forget it.

“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.” –Sir Winston Churchill

The other piece of this puzzle is to look out for yourself. I’ve written about how some people will perceive kindness as a weakness, and you’ve always got to be on the lookout for that. The fact is that, yes, there are some people out there who will not adopt the right attitude, who will remain miserable, and who will try to drag you down with them. The key is to never let those people drag you down. When they pop up, you keep moving. Pity them, show them kindness, but don’t stop on your path. Just keep going.

Make sure that you are never taken advantage of. If you really are working hard, giving it your all, make sure you are being compensated and appreciated fairly. If you know that you give 110% and never see results, let it be known. I recently went to my boss and asked for a substantial raise. I made sure that what I was asking for was legitimate, did my homework, and presented my case. I was scared as hell! But you can not imagine how gratifying it was to stand up for myself. Even before I got an answer (yes it was a good one) I felt like a million bucks.

The truth is that if you don’t look out for yourself, nobody is going to do it for you. I choose to see the good in people but I am also realistic. You need to strike that same balance in your life to be truly successful and you can do it. Believe in yourself and believe in your cause. Make sure that you get what you deserve, nothing more, nothing less.

When You’re Ready to Move On
There will come a day when you’ve exhausted all of the options above. On that day, you will be entirely focused on the positives that surround you; you will have changed people’s lives; and you will be successful. And even with all of those accomplishments, you will be ready to move on. Maybe you will move into your dream career. Maybe you will take another position because you are being mistreated. No matter what the case, as you move ahead on your path, you will be ready for a change.

I encourage you to move forward then. Take the next steps on your path, but be prepared. Financial advisers say that before you quit your job, you should have enough money in savings to survive for 6 months. I would suggest that as a minimum. Create a budget, calculate your expenses. Make sure that you are financially secure before you take the leap. When all signs point to go, then take that leap! “Quit Your Job and Move to Costa Rica” …or Hawaii or Fiji or wherever the heck your heart takes you.

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    3 Simple Changes That Will Save Your Life

    This post could save your life. These 3 simple lifestyle changes saved mine. Today I am going to simply share facts with you. These facts (if you let them) will dramatically improve your quality of life. Making these changes can even increase your life span.

    1. Stop Smoking

    FACTS: According to the American Heart Association, cigarette smoking is the most important preventable cause of premature death in the United States, accounting for 440,000 of the more than 2.4 million annual deaths.

    Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. In fact, smoking tobacco is the major risk factor for lung cancer. In the United States, about 90% of lung cancer deaths in men and almost 80% of lung cancer deaths in women are due to smoking. People who smoke are 10 to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. The longer a person smokes and the more cigarettes smoked each day, the more risk goes up.

    Smoking also causes cancer of the voice box (larynx), mouth and throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, and stomach, and causes acute myeloid leukemia. Source.

    FACTS: One year after passing smoking bans, communities in North America and Europe had 17 percent fewer heart attacks compared to communities without smoking restrictions, and the number of heart attacks kept decreasing with time, according to a report in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association. Source.

    FACTS: If you quit smoking, you will:

    1. Prolong your life. According to the American Heart Association, smokers who quit between ages 35-39 add an average of 6-9 years to their lives. Smokers who quit between ages 65-69 increase their life expectancy by 1 – 4 years.

    2. Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease. Quitting smoking reduces the risk of repeat heart attacks and death from heart disease by 50 percent or more. Quitting smoking also reduces your risk of high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease and stroke.

    3. Reduce your risk of developing a variety of other conditions including diabetes, lung cancer, throat cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, chronic asthma, ulcers, gum disease and many other conditions.

    4. Feel healthier. After quitting, you won’t cough as much, have as many sore throats and you will increase your energy.

    5. Look and feel better. Quitting can help you prevent face wrinkles, get rid of stained teeth, improve your skin and even get rid of the stale smell in your clothes and hair.

    6. Improve your sense of taste and smell.

    7. Save money. Source.

    FACTS: What Happens When You Quit:

    After 20 minutes
    o You stop polluting the air
    o Your blood pressure and pulse decrease
    o The temperature of your hands and feet increases

    After 8 hours
    o The carbon monoxide level in your blood returns to normal
    o Oxygen levels in your blood increase

    After 24 hours
    o Your risk of heart attack decreases

    After 48 hours
    o Nerve endings adjust to the absence of nicotine
    o Your ability to taste and smell begin to return

    After 2 weeks to 3 months
    o Your circulation improves
    o Your exercise tolerance improves

    After 1 – 9 months
    o Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease
    o Your overall energy level increases

    After 1 year
    o Your risk of heart disease decreases to half that of a current smoker

    After 5 – 15 years
    o Your risk of stroke is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    After 10 years
    o Your risk of dying from lung cancer drops to almost the same rate as a lifelong non- smoker
    o You decrease the incidence of other cancers — of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas

    After 15 years
    o Your risk of heart disease is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    If you smoke again (called a relapse) do not lose hope. Seventy-five percent of those who quit relapse. Most smokers quit three times before they are successful. If you relapse, don’t give up! Review the reasons why you wanted to become a nonsmoker. Plan ahead and think about what you will do next time you get the urge to smoke. Source.

    2. Maintain a Healthy Body Weight

    QUESTION: How many people get cancer by being overweight or obese? How many die?

    FACTS: In 2002, about 41,000 new cases of cancer in the United States were estimated to be due to obesity. This means that about 3.2 percent of all new cancers are linked to obesity.

    A recent report estimated that, in the United States, 14 percent of deaths from cancer in men and 20 percent of deaths in women were due to overweight and obesity.

    Colon cancer occurs more frequently in people who are obese than in those of a healthy weight. An increased risk of colon cancer has been consistently reported for men with high BMIs.
    Source.

    FACTS: Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as “overweight” and “obesity,” the risks for the following conditions also increases:

    * Coronary heart disease
    * Type 2 diabetes
    * Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
    * Hypertension (high blood pressure)
    * Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
    * Stroke
    * Liver and Gallbladder disease
    * Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
    * Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
    * Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility) Source.

    3. Eat Whole Foods, Not Processed

    FACTS: The statistics are alarming:

    – One in three people will get cancer at some time in their life

    – Heart disease is the leading cause of death

    – Poor nutrition and physical inactivity together are the second
    actual cause of preventable death in the United States

    On the other hand new evidence shows that:

    – Eating five or more fruits and vegetables per day cuts cancer
    risk in half

    – People who eat more fruits and vegetables have a 30% lower risk
    of premature heart attack than people who eat a few

    – About 25% fewer strokes are projected for adults who eat 8 or
    more servings of fruits and vegetables per day

    – Fruits and vegetables may help keep blood sugar down and control diabetes.” Source.

    FACTS: Processed meat consumption results in 67% increase in pancreatic cancer risk.
    Source.

    FACTS: Inorganic phosphates are found in a variety of processed foods, including meats, cheeses, beverages and bakery products. They are added to increase water retention and improve food texture. Studies suggests a diet high in inorganic phosphates could speed growth of cancerous tumors and contribute to the development of tumors in those predisposed to the disease. Source.

    FACTS: Carcinogens in foods that may be naturally-occurring, caused by preparing or cooking certain foods, or added to it, include safrole, estragole and benzene. Processed foods such as sausages, bacon and canned meats contain high amounts of the preservative nitrite, another known carcinogen. Other carcinogens to look for in food products include:

    * acetaldehyde
    * acetamide
    * azo color and compounds
    * benzidine
    * bis (2-Chloromethyl) ether
    * cadmium
    * chlorinated parraffin waxes
    * 3,3-dichlorobenzidine
    * dichloromethane
    * hexachlorobenzene
    * polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons
    * polychlorinated dibenzodioxins
    * polychlorinated dibenzofurans
    * sillica
    * trichloroethylene

    Though it is impossible to avoid every known carcinogen, to decrease risk of cancers and other illnesses, a balanced diet with more unprocessed, whole foods can decrease risk of some cancers and other diseases such as type two diabetes and heart disease. Source.

    FACTS: Nutrients in Whole Foods that Protect Against Cancer:

    1. Vitamin A: Strengthens the immune system. Essential for mineral metabolism and endocrine function. Helps detoxify. True vitamin A is found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil; fish and shellfish; and liver, butter and egg yolks from pasture-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin A than the typical modern American diet.

    2. Vitamin C: An important antioxidant that prevents damage by free radicals. Found in many fruits and vegetables but also in certain organ meats valued by primitive peoples.

    3. Vitamin B6: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Contributes to the function of over 100 enzymes. Most available from animal foods.

    4. Vitamin B12: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Found only in animal foods.

    5. Vitamin B17: Protects against cancer. Found in a variety of organically grown grains, legumes, nuts and berries.

    6. Vitamin D: Required for mineral absorption. Strongly protective against breast and colon cancer. Found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil, lard, shellfish and butterfat, organ meats and egg yolks from grass-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin D than the typical modern American diet.

    7. Vitamin E: Works as an antioxidant at the cellular level. Found in unprocessed oils as well as in animal fats like butter and egg yolks.

    8. Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA): Strongly protective against breast cancer. Found in the butterfat and meat fat of grass-fed ruminant animals.

    9. Cholesterol: A potent antioxidant that protects against free radicals in cell membranes. Found only in animal foods.

    10. Minerals: The body needs generous amounts of a wide variety of minerals to protect itself against cancer. Minerals like zinc, magnesium and selenium are vital components of enzymes that help the body fight carcinogens. Minerals are more easily absorbed from animal foods.

    11. Lactic Acid and Friendly Bacteria: Contribute to the health of the digestive tract. Found in old fashioned lacto-fermented foods.

    12. Saturated Fats: Strengthen the immune system. Needed for proper use of the essential fatty acids. The lungs cannot function without saturated fats. Found mostly in animal foods.

    13. Long-Chain Fatty Acids: Arachidonic acid (AA), eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) help fight cancer on the cellular level. They are found mostly in animal foods such as butter, organ meats, cod liver oil and seafood.

    14. Co-enzyme Q10: Highly protective against cancer. Found only in animal foods. Source.

    In closing: I truly hope that you will begin living these simple lifestyle changes. If you are non-smoker, not obese, and already eating whole foods, then I challenge you to help to spread this message to as many people as you can. All of the suffering and the disease mentioned above is not necessary. It can be prevented.

11 Comments

  1. Dena –

    This is a very important post for a couple of reasons:

    (1) We all get stuck doing things we'd rather not do. Instead of thinking about all the things we COULD be doing, it's not a bad idea to focus on the present moment and do your best to enjoy RIGHT NOW. Yes, this is easier said than done but it improves over time and with repetition.

    (2) Quitting your job to pursue your passion is not always as fun as it's cracked up to be. Take it from me, from someone who has taken that leap, there are STILL times where I am stressed out or am disgruntled by a situation with my work. Being my own boss definitely has its upside…but, it's not all roses.

    Great post!

    Paul

    Reply

  2. Hi Dena,

    All great tips. I've been there. Most important is to keep your eye on the goal constantly! Focus on your purpose in the midst of your current conditions and tools for pursuing the purpose come to you.

    A challenge, yes, but personal development takes real discipline. When at a job I didn't like I spent virtually all of my free time improving myself. No more TV, no more negative influences by hanging around certain friends, no more BS time.

    Start being the person now and conditions will conform to that being.

    On a side note, when you are prepared emotionally you can do anything. Like, you can go off on your own when deeply in debt, or with barely making enough to make ends meet, or whatever insane circumstances arise when you make the firm decision to have it all. Remember that all of these conditions will eventually be influenced by your thinking. Persist!

    Again, it goes back to being that person now. Most people can't be that person when conditions around them don't conform with their thinking. Hence the severe anxiety, stress, and pain. Unless you have a burning desire that can't be put into words I'd take the first route of easing your way into it while keeping an eye on the goal 🙂

    RB

    Reply

  3. Dena,

    It's nice to see that you covered the other side of life, the 'real' side. Although the 'Follow your passion, make a lot of money and live anywhere in the world' concepts are plentiful in the Internet space, most people live the 9-5 working to make their ends meet.
    I feel that your post gives those who are in the 9-5 more possibilities by focusing on the positives and working hard.
    Like Paul said, even if you've quit the 9-5 and started pursuing your passions, there are still times that are stressful.

    Thank you,

    Ken

    Reply

  5. This is a great post! People also make the mistake of thinking that if they cannot do it now it cannot be done. I am doing exactly what you described in your post. I figured out what I was passionate about, and then developed a common sense plan to get there.

    I would rather have my own financial counseling business but in order to get there without destroying everything else I must walk up the ladder one rung at a time.

    I do not enjoy delivering pizzas per say, but on the good side, it pays great, and it offers me flexibility and the ability to spend so much more time with my family.

    I think you have to remind yourself of the good side of every bad situation in order to stay focused.

    Great post!!

    Reply

  6. @Paul – Thank you so much for your comment. You are an inspiration to me. Working for myself is a fairly new dream for me but an important one indeed. It sounds like you are there but you are still grounded in reality. I think that is an important balance. I know I've got a lot to learn from you yet!

    @Ryan B – Ryan, your insights are spot on. As an entrepreneur, you have the inside scoop into the matter. I am inspired by your journey and I hope to follow in your footsteps in the near future.

    Keep up the amazing work that you are doing to live your dream and improve the lives of others.

    @Ken – Exactly! I say it all the time, "Do not build castles in the sky, until you've got a good foundation on the Earth." I am all about following dreams. I know the power of positive thinking and hard work – yet, we must remain grounded in reality. All good things take time, patience, and effort.

    @Brad – Thank you for your thoughts & for sharing your story. You've hit the nail on the head, "Remind yourself of the good side of every bad situation." In life, sometimes we have to do things that are less than ideal, but that's no reason that it can not wind up being a GREAT experience.

    Your story is inspiring and I truly hope to get where you are in the very near future. 🙂

    Reply
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    1. @ Caroline – Good for you. Happiness IS a choice. Keep working — more smart, less hard — and you’ll get there. Keep me up-to-date on your progress. I’d love to know how it’s going on the journey to working for yourself! <3

      Reply
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