One-Month-Old Marina Grace

I honestly can’t believe that this sweet face is one-month-old! My first month with Roman went by so slowly. Every day and night with him felt like an eternity. Matthew was working long, 14-hour days. My postpartum hormones were all over the place. I was sore as hell. Breastfeeding took the life out of me. And I cried for hours every day. Fast-forward to this time around and I literally couldn’t believe that four weeks had passed. I checked the calendar to be certain — three times.

I wouldn’t say that it has been “easy.” Life with a newborn is not easy, but it has been significantly easier and different in many ways. My labor was quicker, Marina was smaller, and my physical recovery was a lot quicker & less painful. Matthew and Roman are here with me every day, so there’s no such thing as lonely. Breastfeeding has been a breeze — I am very comfortable with it after the nineteen months I spent nursing Roman.

The two most significant challenges we’ve faced have been sleep and her lack of independence which are tied together. Long story short, she simply hates to be put down. She wants to be held constantly, preferably by me and preferably with a boob in or near her mouth. For the first few weeks, this was ideal. I needed to rest and recover, so I spent most of my days on the couch. She was so quiet and content in my arms and it was really beautiful.

Now, however, it’s a month later and I’m ready to start getting on with life — or at least ready to do some laundry, play with Roman, clean dishes, vacuum, take photos, blog, and so on. Much to my dismay, little Miss Marina is having none of it. As soon as I put her down, she screams bloody murder. Early on, I tried to use a baby carrier in an effort to simultaneously hold her and get things done, but it just wasn’t working for us. Now that she’s a little older, and her neck has gotten quite strong, I will try again.

The challenge that we have with sleep is much the same. I put her down and she cries. So, I’ve ended up going the same route with her that I went with Roman and sleeping with her in my arms. We slept on the couch for the first month and we’ve just recently started side-sleeping and we spent half a night in my bed, as well. I didn’t resist it the way that I did with Roman. With him, I lamented for three months over the fact that he wouldn’t sleep alone. This time around, I know just how quickly these early months will pass and I’m doing my best to cherish every precious moment.

Overall, things have been good. We have our good hours and our bad hours. There are plenty of tears. Sometimes — especially in the middle of the night when I am bone-tired and nothing will settle her — I feel like I’m about to reach the end of my rope and I pray for a way out. That said, there are also plenty of smiles, so much laughter, and so many moments of such overwhelming gratitude that it brings me to my knees. The good outweighs the bad by leaps and bounds. This sweet girl is the most beautiful addition to our lives. She is the piece of the puzzle that was missing and we love her so much that it hurts. ♥