Winter Solstice // I Still Love So Hard

“I’ve been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. I admire my heart for that.” –Alexandra Elle, Words from a Wanderer

Today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year–all of the days of darkness have been leading up to this one, and from today forward, the days will grow longer, lighter. Today marks the turning point of the season, the coldest days of winter are ahead–but today reminds us that the light will still come, once the darkness has passed.

It’s taken me years to come to terms with winter. For many years, I thought that winter would break me down and take me under. I could not stand the isolation, the sadness, the darkness of these Northeast winters. Then finally, last year, winter set me free. I realized that winter was not a thing to be feared. Winter is a time of hibernation, of warmth, of comfort, of closeness. It is a time for us to turn inward, to build strength, to remember who we truly are. Winter means slowness and slowness means strength. We slow down over winter, with the knowledge that the warm days will come again; the light will come again.

Our days are busy and bursting at the seams, as ever. These short days leave little time for adventure. Roman gets finished with pre-k and there is scarcely an hour of daylight left by the time we get home. But the winter solstice has always meant so much to me. I have always felt that the turning of the seasons have been my most important spiritual guide. I need to feel close to nature, to the earth, even on the cold, dark days.

So as soon as we got home from school pickup, we all got bundled up and headed outside to walk our favorite paths. We felt the cold breath of winter in the air and watched the beautiful sun setting in the December sky. The houses are dressed with twinkling lights and green garlands. Inside of windows, Christmas trees are glowing warm with promises of love and laughter.

Oh, there is so much beauty every where. Life is so terrible and precious, at once. I let myself sink deeply into these moments. I cherish them. I cherish the sweet cheeks of my beautiful babies; the crisp December wind; the magic of this season. I have always said that seasons save me–and they do, they always do.

Happy Winter Solstice, friends. May warmth & wonder fill your days. xo