Before you read on, take note. While I will put all of this in the most lady-like manner that I can, be warned: This post is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended!
So… last month I had my first colonic. The backstory (pun intended) is that I’ve been interested in colon hydrotherapy for years. I’ve heard incredible things about the experience—immediate six-pound weight loss; pieces of blockage the size of oranges coming out; miraculous flat tummies; and so on.
Through research, I found that a colonic can be incredibly beneficial to your health. Colon hydrotherapy washes away the toxins that build up over the course of your lifetime, leaving your colon fresh, clean, and non-toxic. I also learned that a colonic can treat irregularity, constipation, indigestion, diarrhea, gas, bloat, hemorrhoids, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, diverticulitis, colitis, parasites, skin conditions, and much more. Although the jury is still out (or outright against the idea) from some of the medical community, I’d heard enough positive accounts to give it a go. Fasting has done tremendous things for me—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—and I was eager try another method of cleansing. As fate would have it, Groupon sent me a fabulous offer for 50% off a colon hydrotherapy session at nearby Wellness Innovations. How could I resist!?
When I called to make my appointment I received very basic instructions to avoid eating two hours beforehand so that I wouldn’t be digesting. The first thing I noticed, arriving in the office, was the beautiful, calming environment. Sandra LaMorgese was my colon hydrotherapist and she made me feel incredibly at ease. I filled out a short questionnaire and a little while later, Sandra brought me into the room where my colonic would take place.
My experience was as follows:
- Sandra explained the entire process, then left the room
- I undressed from the waist down, and lay down on a comfortable chair/bed
- I put on gloves, lubed up, and inserted the speculum (which is so small that you wonder if it’s even there!)
- Then I covered myself from the waist down with a soft sheet and towel
- Finally, I texted Sandra and she came back in to turn the water on
Next, the actual process began. I assume it is different for each person, but for me, I could not “release” with Sandra in the room. It was obviously psychological because as soon as she left, I had no trouble.
As for the process, a slow stream of water runs inside and fills your colon. You hold it in as long as you can and then you release it. You repeat the process over and over for the length of your procedure, mine was 45 minutes.
It is non-invasive and (believe it or not!) quite relaxing.
It takes some getting used to, but after a while it seems very natural. I was shocked by how easy it was. There was no pain involved, except for a few brief moments where my stomach twisted. That was mildly uncomfortable, but it felt like a part of the process, like my body was working to eliminate toxins.
There is a hole in the chair/bed where the speculum and water come from. It is this same hole where all of the waste goes down. There is a view-tube beside you so that you can see everything that passes out of you. What surprised me was that after the initial “movement” (which was pretty standard) there was not that much that actually came out of me. No giant clumps the size of an orange, mostly just the clean water coming out exactly as it came in. After awhile, this made me anxious. Why wasn’t anything happening? Then, I had another smaller movement, but that was it for the length of the procedure. If anything else came out, it wasn’t visible. I had the expectation that something major would be removed and there would be a lot of movement over the course of the treatment. In retrospect, I think that having that expectation was detrimental. It caused me unnecessary anxiety during the process.
The process is calming and therapeutic. It’s a shame that I got worked up/anxious about the lack of activity. I think that I would have gotten more from it if I’d just let go of my expectations—come what may. That’s why I plan to get another colonic in the future. Next time, I will go into it with no expectations and truly relax.
Following the session, I didn’t feel very different. I’d once read a post-colonic account where the writer recalled feeling so clean afterward that she craved nothing other than water and cucumbers. Well, that wasn’t the case for me! I was hungry! Sandra said that I should stick to soft food for the rest of the day so I had some boiled squash and rice, but I was craving a thick slice of pizza. My stomach did feel empty, but not much more than it would after any substantial “movement.”
As for weight loss, the morning after my colonic and saw a 1.5 pound loss—not the 6 pounds I was hoping for, but a positive change. Perhaps the greatest effect of the process has been the positive change to my digestive health. A week after my colonic, I left for vacation. Typically I experience irregularity on vacation (with all of the changes to my diet, being in a strange environment, altered sleeping patterns, etc). However, on this vacation, my digestion ran like clockwork! I felt so good the entire time I was away—never bloated or lethargic.
I did have one substantial hiccup in the process.
If you are considering colon hydrotherapy, please take note.
After my session, Sandra informed me that while the process would improve my digestion, I might not have a movement for a few days as my colon would be empty. However, the very next day I did have several movements and they were not normal. (Brace for grossness.) The movements were loose and bright yellow! I was pretty terrified and immediately jumped online to research. (Thank goodness for Google!) Turns out that bright yellow stool results from a lack of good bacteria in the colon. This made sense to me—while washing the toxicity from my colon (great thing!) I also washed the good bacteria from my colon (bad thing!). I hightailed it to the grocery for some Activia and Kefir (both excellent sources of probiotics [good bacteria]) and by the next morning all was well in my world.
Would I recommend colon hydrotherapy? Absolutely. I think that it is a worthwhile endeavour. It’s virtually painless and it’s a therapeutic experience for your body & spirit. I do expect that I will make a habit of having a session every few years. Of course, my one big recommendation is to keep probiotics on-hand and enjoy a nice big bowl of yogurt after your session.
If you have any questions, please ask! Apparently I’m not too shy after all.