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6 Tips for Stress-Free Holidays

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1. Surround Yourself with Beauty — Surround yourself with the things that you love. Whether it is holiday music, white Christmas lights, or paper snowflakes. Decorate your surroundings in a way that makes you smile. Centering yourself among beautiful things will lift your mood throughout the season. Make sure to include your office, your car (or bike), and your living space.

2. Interact with Positive People — Everyone and their mother seems to be in town around the holiday season. That does not mean that you need to allow toxic people (or places) into your life.

Make this year the year that you break the tradition of exchanging gifts with your old college buddy, Nate the negative. Cut out the toxic people. Surround yourself with the people that put a smile on your face, encourage you, and lift your spirits. This can get tricky when it comes to family, but do what is right for you. No exceptions.

3. Use the Envelope System for Shopping — Before you hit the malls and the stores, make a budget. Determine how much money you are going to spend for each person and in each store. Then put the designated amount of money in an envelope before you head out. You will have enough money to get exactly what you need and only what you need. No cheating. Leave any extra cash and credit cards at home!

This is a guaranteed way to avoid the stress of overspending and impulse purchases.

4. Don’t Overeat — The holidays are filled with cookies, cakes, hams, mashed potatoes, wine, beer, chocolate, and candy canes… just to name a few. Don’t allow yourself to go completely overboard until the buttons of your pants are popping off.

Make conscious decisions about food. Limit yourself to two cookies or two glasses of wine instead of five. Use smaller plates. It has been proven that smaller plates lead to smaller portions. Eat a few small meals each day. Carry healthy snacks with you to avoid hunger pains and cravings — a bag of almonds, baby carrots, or a box of raisins will do the trick.

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5. Turn the Other Cheek — Even though the holidays are the “most wonderful time of the year” for many people they can also be the most stressful. The traffic gets congested. The shopping malls become hellish. The holiday bills pile up. A lot of people are on edge and tensions run high. It is a perfect storm for confrontation.

If you go into the season with an attitude of tranquility, peace, and forgiveness you stand a much better chance of avoiding conflict. If a confrontation is headed in your direction try to avoid it. If push comes to shove and you are drawn in against your will, turn the other cheek.

Whether it be road rage in a parking lot while fighting for a spot or a nasty comment from Uncle Bill at the dinner table, taking the high road is the best policy. Let the other person be the bad guy and absorb the negative karma that comes with being a jerk. Remember that you are way above that. Do not let anyone or anything move you from your path of happiness and light.

6. Turn Off the Negative Thoughts — If you work hard and follow all of these tips, you can experience your most joyful holiday season yet. However, there is one nasty habit that could ruin it all: negative thinking. Nip it in the bud before it even starts!

If you feel negative thoughts beginning to accumulate in your mind, stop. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are in control.

Do not let your negative thoughts get the better of you. Change every negative, irrational thought into a positive, rational one. Focus on the beauty around you. Count your blessings each day and night. Live happiness, constantly make sure that what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Wishing you a warm & beautiful holiday season full of love, light, and hope.

Truly,

Dena

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

5 Comments

  1. Nice post. This is a very stressful time of year for everyone. I find a nice cup of hot chocolate helps. 🙂

  2. Great post once again Dena! Although I always have a problem with the whole not over-eating thing I think this is the year I'll only take back a couple Shortbread cookies. I think that you nailed one of the most important tips with the "Interact with Positive people" Tip – If you let negativite people get in the way of your happiness you are just as guilty as they are for being a Scrooge. Get out, have fun and live it up – We only live once so make it worth it!

  3. @The Coolest Cool – Exactly! You've got such an awesome on life, I could not have put it better myself. I'm right there with you with he over-eating on the holidays. I really screwed myself up at Thanksgiving, I've vowed not to repeat that mistake at Christmas & New Years! Good luck with the cookies. ;o)

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