·

How to Survive & Thrive When You Hate Your Job

 

Lately I’ve read hundreds of articles with titles like “Quit Your Job Today and Move to Costa Rica” “Quit Your Job Today and Find Freedom” and the ever-popular “Quit Your Job Today and Pursue Your Passion.” Well, I am not saying that any of those things are bad ideas and I am certainly not saying that you shouldn’t pursue your passion or that you should stay in a job you hate. But what I am saying is that sometimes quitting your job today is not the best choice. And that does not mean that you are making excuses or practicing fear-based thought. It just means that right now, quitting your job is not practical or wise.

This article is going to talk about how to take the correct steps so that you can practically and safely quit your job without putting yourself at risk for a professional failure or a major financial loss.

My own present situation has inspired me to write this post. Long story short—I grew up in a lower, middle-class family. My parents are both hardworking, my mother an administrator in a hospital and my father a bricklayer in the union. I was the first, and only, one in my family to attend and graduate college. My parents were able to help me, financially, with my first two years of school and after that I was on my own. I had no guidance and like so many people in my generation I fell victim to the evils of Sallie Mae and the “easy” loans they offered me. One liberal arts degree later and I came out of school with just under $50,000 in student loan debt. So that’s where I am at now, almost three years out of college, and slowly chipping away at the mountain.

While it might be nice to “quit my job tomorrow” and move to Costa Rica or pursue my dream of becoming a life coach and motivational speaker full-time — it is not the right time for me to do that, right now. Instead, I am working full-time at an association where I have a steady paycheck, excellent benefits, and enough money to put a little bit away each month in savings after paying out all of my bills.

So, while my current job may not exactly be “dream” material, I am making it work in my favor. Not only am I making enough money to pay down my debt, but I am also putting money in savings and believe it or not, I am getting a lot of other great things out of the experience, too. Even if your current job is not perfect and even if it doesn’t have anything to do with your dream career, there are lots of ways to make it a personally rewarding and fulfilling experience.

Focus on the Positive
Focusing on the positive is the key to life. Seriously, if you can manage to shift your thought to focus on the positive things around you, you will succeed every single time. It’s really simple — focus on the negative and be miserable, depressed, and unsuccessful or — focus on the positive and be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Which one will you choose?

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” —Mohandas Gandhi

No matter what your job is, there are good points about it. Whether you like it or not, the economy sucks right now. Approximately 195 million people around the world are unemployed and that statistic was taken before the economy took its recent nosedive. Whatever your job is, you are making money. Maybe you can afford to put food in your child’s mouth, maybe you can afford to put a shirt on your own back, maybe you can afford a lot of things and every time you start to complain, think about all of the people who can’t do those things. Think about the mother who can’t put food in her baby’s mouth or the man on the street, in the snow, who doesn’t have a shirt on his back. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

Aside from a paycheck, I know that there are a lot of other really good things about your job. Maybe it’s the view from the window on the second floor or the smile on the janitor’s face in the afternoon or maybe you are the janitor and it’s the steaming hot cup of coffee that you enjoy each morning at the start of your shift. Whatever it is, it’s there. You have to find it.

There are lots of little things to be grateful for, focus on those. …Or focus on the negatives and be miserable. You decide.

Change Someone’s Life
Every single day I wake up and I ask myself, How am I going to change someone’s life today? You do not realize it, but you have a tremendous power inside of you. Every single person has the ability to touch lives all the time and most people don’t even realize it. Life-changing gestures can be small — open the door for someone, smile at the people you pass in the hall, go out of your way to help a colleague with a difficult task. They can be large too — practice kindness at all times, be a mentor, donate money or time to a charity. The opportunities to positively impact people’s lives are limitless. Again, this is a choice that you make — every single day.

Do you walk around with a grimace? Refuse to help people in need out of selfishness? Cut people off in traffic? Rely on other members of your team to get the job done?

If you honestly answered yes to any of those questions then maybe you need to re-look at why you hate your job so much.

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” —Wayne Dyer

When you choose happiness and kindness, those things will come back to you. It happens in all areas of life but it’s really important to practice at your place of work. Karma is real and good things do happen to good people.

Whether you are a global peace ambassador or a clerk at McDonald’s you truly have the ability to change someone’s life each day. How will you choose to spend your time?

Work Really Hard, Lookout for Yourself, Succeed
This last one is the kicker. It’s all about attitude. Here’s my attitude: I am going to shine at every single thing that I do. I am going to work my ass off until I see positive results. When I fall, I am going to get back up, every, single time.

I am twenty-five years old and I’ve had at least fifteen different jobs. I’ve been a waitress, a coffee seller, a library page, a camp counselor, a retail employee, and an administrative manager to name a few. Now I know what you’re thinking — fifteen jobs in twenty-five years — what’s to be proud of?! Well… I’ve never been fired from a job. I’ve always left on great terms with my employers and each of my former employers has offered to serve as a reference for me in the future. I’ve also found something to love about every single job I’ve ever had. I’ve learned a tremendous amount in each position, and I’ve gotten promoted, across the board, at each place that I’ve ever worked.

I think that those are some tremendous accomplishments and I want yo
u to know that you are capable of doing the exact same thing. Just adopt the right attitude. I am going to shine at every single thing that I do. I am going to work my ass off until I see positive results. When I fall, I am going to get back up, every, single time. And never, ever forget it.

“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.” –Sir Winston Churchill

The other piece of this puzzle is to look out for yourself. I’ve written about how some people will perceive kindness as a weakness, and you’ve always got to be on the lookout for that. The fact is that, yes, there are some people out there who will not adopt the right attitude, who will remain miserable, and who will try to drag you down with them. The key is to never let those people drag you down. When they pop up, you keep moving. Pity them, show them kindness, but don’t stop on your path. Just keep going.

Make sure that you are never taken advantage of. If you really are working hard, giving it your all, make sure you are being compensated and appreciated fairly. If you know that you give 110% and never see results, let it be known. I recently went to my boss and asked for a substantial raise. I made sure that what I was asking for was legitimate, did my homework, and presented my case. I was scared as hell! But you can not imagine how gratifying it was to stand up for myself. Even before I got an answer (yes it was a good one) I felt like a million bucks.

The truth is that if you don’t look out for yourself, nobody is going to do it for you. I choose to see the good in people but I am also realistic. You need to strike that same balance in your life to be truly successful and you can do it. Believe in yourself and believe in your cause. Make sure that you get what you deserve, nothing more, nothing less.

When You’re Ready to Move On
There will come a day when you’ve exhausted all of the options above. On that day, you will be entirely focused on the positives that surround you; you will have changed people’s lives; and you will be successful. And even with all of those accomplishments, you will be ready to move on. Maybe you will move into your dream career. Maybe you will take another position because you are being mistreated. No matter what the case, as you move ahead on your path, you will be ready for a change.

I encourage you to move forward then. Take the next steps on your path, but be prepared. Financial advisers say that before you quit your job, you should have enough money in savings to survive for 6 months. I would suggest that as a minimum. Create a budget, calculate your expenses. Make sure that you are financially secure before you take the leap. When all signs point to go, then take that leap! “Quit Your Job and Move to Costa Rica” …or Hawaii or Fiji or wherever the heck your heart takes you.

you may also like

  • · · · · ·

    The Courage to Confront Your Dream

    What is a personal calling? It is God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream. —The Alchemist

    Are You Aware of What You’re Doing?

    I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams lately (as if you hadn’t noticed). One of my most urgent ambitions/dreams is to live an entirely purposeful life. I see people around me everyday, sleepwalking through life, on autopilot. Alarm clock, shower, breakfast, commute, zombie work, commute, dinner, television, sleep. Repeat. Day in and day out. It breaks my heart. What hurts more are the moments (sometimes hours) when I catch myself falling into that terrible haze. Of course I snap myself out of it as soon as I realize it’s happening. The way that I snap out of it is simple enough: I ground myself. I literally take notice of my feet on the Earth, carpet, tile (wherever I am). I recognize my breathing. I acknowledge that I am a human being walking the Earth, beneath the sky, on a great big planet, floating in the Universe. It’s really important to do that, to ground yourself in reality at least once a day, probably more. If you don’t do it you will get caught up in the trivial — the fight with your spouse; the disappointment over your kid’s report card; the scratch on your new car; the ever-growing pile of papers on your desk; your unappreciative boss — you get the picture.

    Proactive vs. Reactive Living

    When you ground yourself, you pull yourself from the depths of the trivial, unimportant, little details that tend to take control. When you ground yourself, you become aware. The only problem with grounding yourself this way is that it is reactive rather than proactive. There is actually a much better way to avoid autopilot and that is proactivity. I am going to start talking a lot on this blog about reactive vs. proactive thoughts and actions. So let me take a moment to define what I mean by each of these terms.

    Reactive—Something happens and triggers you to take action.

    Example 1: You get on the scale one morning to realize that you’ve gained ten pounds. Your reaction is to begin a diet and start breaking your back in the gym until you lose the ten pounds.

    Example 2: Your marriage has been falling apart for the last two years. You fight with your spouse daily or more. You are both unhappy. You put everything before each other — work, friends, hobbies, etc. The marriage is your last priority. As a last resort you decide to attend marriage counseling.

    Proactive—You consciously prepare and act in ways that will produce certain desired outcomes in your life.

    Example 1: You are aware that you want to be physically healthy. You continually live a lifestyle that promotes health. You always take the stairs instead of the elevator. You run a mile each morning before work. You feed your body foods that it craves & needs and avoid “junk” whenever possible.

    Example 2: Your marriage is one of your top priorities. You make “alone” time and set dates with your spouse at least once a week. You plan vacations together to explore places you’ve never seen. You participate in each others favourite hobbies. You fight, as all healthy couples do, but you practice open communication and work through arguments before they become significant problems.

    If you analyze all of the actions and thoughts in your life, you will find that each one is either reactive or proactive. The goal is to make all of your thoughts and actions proactive. The problem with practicing reactive thinking or action, is that it is usually too late. And even when you do succeed, it is usually a short-lived success because reactive thoughts and actions do not treat the causes of problems; they only treat the symptoms.

    Let’s take the reactive approach to the extra ten pounds for example. You notice the excess weight, you starve yourself, you go to the gym religiously — within a few months, the pounds are gone. You feel great for a little while, but soon you go back to your old habits. A few months later and the pounds are creeping back on. On the other hand, if you had made a decision to begin taking a permanent proactive approach to maintaining your health, you would have achieved long-lasting, sustainable progress and results. These same principles would apply to the example of the troubled marriage and any other example that you could think of.

    Proactivity is a crucial element to a happy, fulfilling, successful life.

    Follow Your Legend, Confront Your Dream

    Now, I am going to tie this whole thing together and tell you how you can live a life of constant proactivity and sheer joy. Ready? Have another look at the opening lines to this post. What is a personal calling? It is God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream. (If you are not religious, replace the word God with the word Universe. What is a personal calling? It is the Universe’s blessing, it is the path that the Universe chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream. To me, the words God & Universe mean the same, beautiful, powerful thing.)

    That’s it, my friends, if you want to live proactively, if you want to live the life of your dreams, all you have to do is confront your dreams and follow your legend.

    Ask yourself these questions: What fills me with enthusiasm? What is the one thing that I could wake up and do happily every single day for the rest of my life without even being paid? When you have the answer, then you have your personal calling. It is the path that is meant for you. When you do this thing, you will follow your legend and you will confront your dreams.

    Next month, it will be one year since I discovered my own personal calling. I will never forget the moment. It hit me like lightning — to help people by sharing my journey & the lessons I’ve learned along the way — so simple, but so amazing. That is what compelled me to start this blog eight months ago. That is what has kept me going ever since. And I know what you are thinking now: Dena, I can’t do it. You are making it sound so simple, but it’s not. I can’t afford to quit my job. I have a mortgage to pay. My mother is sick. I am not talented enough. I’m too old. It’s not practical. And the list of excuses will go on and on and on. Well, I am sorry, but none of your excuses are good enough! No matter how stuck you think you are — no matter how dire your circumstance might seem — there is a way out!

    Take it from me. I was depressed and anxious for the first half of my life. I spent much of that time wanting my life to end. I was seventy pounds overweight. I was $40,000 in debt. How much further down could I have gone? I could have used a lot of excuses to keep myself in that state; but I didn’t. I made a decision to change my life. I lost seventy pounds. I overcame anxiety and depression. I’ve cut my debt in half and continue to pay it down every day! I figured out my personal calling and I am doing it. I am following my legend, confronting my dreams. I am making it happen — and you can do it, too.

    Before you get started with your excuses again, I’d like you to imagine something. Imagine being born a young girl in Alabama in 1880. Imagine then growing up to understand French, German, Greek, and Latin. Imagine then going to Harvard, at a time when few women from your town did anything other than get married and raise kids. Imagine then writing a book that was translated into twenty-five languages and inspired two Oscar-winning movies. Imagine then meeting every President in your lifetime and being awarded the highest civilian honor—the Presidential Medal of Freedom. That would be some accomplishment, wouldn’t it? Now imagine doing all of that whilst being blind, deaf, and barely able to talk for your entire life.

    It’s not impossible, friends. In fact, it’s very possible and there is a woman who did all of that, her name was Helen Keller. She accomplished all of those things, and more, because she believed in herself and she had a good teacher. (Taken from How to Be Rich & Happy.)

    “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” —John Wayne

    Every single day is a new opportunity for us to begin living the lives of our dreams. Today is called “the present” because it is a gift. Take it and do something with it!

    I would love to hear your thoughts about this post. What is your personal calling? What obstacles are standing in your way? How are you going to overcome them? What can I do to help you get there? Let me know in the comments.

11 Comments

  1. Dena –

    This is a very important post for a couple of reasons:

    (1) We all get stuck doing things we'd rather not do. Instead of thinking about all the things we COULD be doing, it's not a bad idea to focus on the present moment and do your best to enjoy RIGHT NOW. Yes, this is easier said than done but it improves over time and with repetition.

    (2) Quitting your job to pursue your passion is not always as fun as it's cracked up to be. Take it from me, from someone who has taken that leap, there are STILL times where I am stressed out or am disgruntled by a situation with my work. Being my own boss definitely has its upside…but, it's not all roses.

    Great post!

    Paul

  2. Hi Dena,

    All great tips. I've been there. Most important is to keep your eye on the goal constantly! Focus on your purpose in the midst of your current conditions and tools for pursuing the purpose come to you.

    A challenge, yes, but personal development takes real discipline. When at a job I didn't like I spent virtually all of my free time improving myself. No more TV, no more negative influences by hanging around certain friends, no more BS time.

    Start being the person now and conditions will conform to that being.

    On a side note, when you are prepared emotionally you can do anything. Like, you can go off on your own when deeply in debt, or with barely making enough to make ends meet, or whatever insane circumstances arise when you make the firm decision to have it all. Remember that all of these conditions will eventually be influenced by your thinking. Persist!

    Again, it goes back to being that person now. Most people can't be that person when conditions around them don't conform with their thinking. Hence the severe anxiety, stress, and pain. Unless you have a burning desire that can't be put into words I'd take the first route of easing your way into it while keeping an eye on the goal 🙂

    RB

  3. Dena,

    It's nice to see that you covered the other side of life, the 'real' side. Although the 'Follow your passion, make a lot of money and live anywhere in the world' concepts are plentiful in the Internet space, most people live the 9-5 working to make their ends meet.
    I feel that your post gives those who are in the 9-5 more possibilities by focusing on the positives and working hard.
    Like Paul said, even if you've quit the 9-5 and started pursuing your passions, there are still times that are stressful.

    Thank you,

    Ken

  4. This is a great post! People also make the mistake of thinking that if they cannot do it now it cannot be done. I am doing exactly what you described in your post. I figured out what I was passionate about, and then developed a common sense plan to get there.

    I would rather have my own financial counseling business but in order to get there without destroying everything else I must walk up the ladder one rung at a time.

    I do not enjoy delivering pizzas per say, but on the good side, it pays great, and it offers me flexibility and the ability to spend so much more time with my family.

    I think you have to remind yourself of the good side of every bad situation in order to stay focused.

    Great post!!

  5. @Paul – Thank you so much for your comment. You are an inspiration to me. Working for myself is a fairly new dream for me but an important one indeed. It sounds like you are there but you are still grounded in reality. I think that is an important balance. I know I've got a lot to learn from you yet!

    @Ryan B – Ryan, your insights are spot on. As an entrepreneur, you have the inside scoop into the matter. I am inspired by your journey and I hope to follow in your footsteps in the near future.

    Keep up the amazing work that you are doing to live your dream and improve the lives of others.

    @Ken – Exactly! I say it all the time, "Do not build castles in the sky, until you've got a good foundation on the Earth." I am all about following dreams. I know the power of positive thinking and hard work – yet, we must remain grounded in reality. All good things take time, patience, and effort.

    @Brad – Thank you for your thoughts & for sharing your story. You've hit the nail on the head, "Remind yourself of the good side of every bad situation." In life, sometimes we have to do things that are less than ideal, but that's no reason that it can not wind up being a GREAT experience.

    Your story is inspiring and I truly hope to get where you are in the very near future. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Let Go of Your Goals & Unleash Your Dreams : evolution you
  7. Pingback: The Best of evolution you : evolution you
    1. @ Caroline – Good for you. Happiness IS a choice. Keep working — more smart, less hard — and you’ll get there. Keep me up-to-date on your progress. I’d love to know how it’s going on the journey to working for yourself! <3

  8. Pingback: Round the world ticket (November 2011) | Lape Soetan

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *