marina grace at four months //

Four-Month-Old Marina Grace

DenaJuly 29, 2015

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

Marina Grace is four-months-old. She recently rolled over from her back to her belly. She’s been trying for awhile, but her arm always gets in the way. She hasn’t done it again since, but she’s getting close and growing stronger every day.

Her favorite thing is being carried and looking around. As long as she is being carried by someone who is moving and as long as there is something to look at, she’s a happy girl. On the flip side, this is literally the only thing that makes her happy for 90% of her waking hours, which is absolutely exhausting for her mama & her papa.

Her colic has not subsided and we are only able to put her down for about 45 minutes a day, total. She won’t hang out, or sit in her swing, or nap, or anything else. If she’s not being held, she screams. In her car seat, she screams. Occasionally, she will fall asleep in the car for twenty minutes, but as soon as you come to a traffic light or stop sign and the car stops moving, she wakes up, and screams.

It’s alarming how long she can scream for, and how loudly. I venture there’s a fair chance that she will grow up to be an opera singer or an endurance athlete, or some combination of the two.

The good news is that she’s actually quite healthy and happy. As long as she’s receiving constant attention, she’s all smiles. She really has the biggest, brightest smile. She really giggled for the first time recently. It was just the sweetest sound. She absolutely loves to get kisses on her cheeks and when she does, she just lights up.

She sleeps, still in my arms, from about 7 pm until about 6 am. During the day, she might take two or three twenty to forty-minute naps, if we’re lucky. These occur while she is being held, in her swing (rarely), or in her car seat. If I lay down with her, she will easily sleep for two hours. This indicates that she is actually tired, that she does actually need sleep, and that exhaustion is most likely the cause of her constant screaming.

She’s had lots of firsts since hitting four-months a week ago, including her first time at the beach, her first time in a baby, blow-up pool, and her first taste of ice cream. We also tried to give her a bit of rice cereal, but she mainly just swished it around in her mouth and then squished it out through her lips.

Other than this, she’s still exclusively breastfed. I got some really expensive, specialized baby formula from a friend about a month ago. We were all set to try it but then, I don’t know, I didn’t have the heart to. And then as the past few weeks have gone by, it’s just become increasingly obvious that there’s nothing really “wrong” with Marina and no real need to give her formula.

She’s just fussy and high-needs. I mean I have literally let her cry for twenty straight minutes and she will scream — blood-curdling, top of her lungs, drenched in sweat — and as soon as I pick her up, she’s happy as a pig in shit, all smiles. I’m not deliberately letting her cry, by the way. But sometimes I obviously have to put her down in order to take care of Roman, go to the bathroom, eat, drink, etc.

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

marina grace at four months //

Once again, I wish I had some brighter news to share on the Marina-front, but here we are still. You know, I’m not a jealous person. In fact, I’m one of the least jealous people you’ll ever meet. I think that jealousy is a useless emotion. I’m quite confident in myself and I love my life passionately. However, I will say this: at this point in my life, I am deeply envious of those who have/had laid back, easygoing infants. I know that it is such a short and special period of life, having such a tiny baby, and it breaks my heart that I’ve (we’ve) had to endure such suffering through it.

I also know that in the grand scheme of things, I am incredibly blessed. I have so many blessings that I can’t begin to name them, and one of them right up in the top of the list, is my sweet & beautiful Marina Grace.

Everyone is always reminding me to enjoy these days because they will pass quickly. I appreciate the advice, but it’s information that I’m well aware of. Roman is two years and two months, and sometimes it honestly feels like I gave birth to him last week. Even though the hours and the days drag when life is hard, the months and the years still fly by.

This post is turning into a life philosophy post instead of a baby update. So I’ll end it here.

I’ve written this whole thing on my phone with my right hand while Marina sleeps nestled in my left arm. Time at my computer is extremely limited these days, so I hope that what I’ve written here is actually somewhat sensible. 😉

P.S. How adorable is she in her little, pink bikini!? I just can’t even.

Comments (7)

  • Gudny Lara

    July 29, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    Sorry to hear about you baby being so unhappy all the time. I sure hope you have a comfortable baby carrier, it can make things a whole lot easier.

  • Tania

    July 29, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Have you tried running the vacuum when she starts crying.Typically the white noise will ease the colic.Give it a try.

  • Mallory

    July 30, 2015 at 2:31 am

    I had one of those! My son didn’t go through that glorious new-born sleep phase, and in fact couldn’t seem to get the hang of sleeping at all. The only way he slept was if he was being held, so I somehow managed to crawl into bed with him nestled in the crook of my arm. I slept like that with him until he was 7 months old and he was getting a lot more mobile, which then I just couldn’t do it anymore! Plus, he would only “nap” for 20 minutes, maybe twice a day. I was going crazy! We decided to try “sleep training”. Totally not in the sense of letting him cry it out, because my kid would probably just cry forever. But we put him in his crib for controlled crying sessions, while sitting in the room for him. We would let him stay in there until he reached that point-of-no-return hysterical crying, and then we would pick him up. He never ended learning how to fall asleep on his own, but those sessions seemed to make a huge difference. We managed to transition him into his own bed, he could sleep for longer stretches on his own, and he started taking longer naps. My guy is almost 11 months old now, and I still cuddle him to sleep, but he sleeps through the night on a semi-regular basis, which I never thought would happen. So there is hope for you! I wrote about my experience if you are interested 🙂 Blogging really helped me cope lol.

  • SmartBabyHQ

    August 1, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Congratulations on having such a beautiful baby. She’s just so adorable! There’s no 2 babies completely alike, and Marina Grace will get over this phase sooner or later (I hope sooner, for you). Until then, there’s probably not much you can do besides continuing to give her all your love.

  • Carie

    August 2, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Oh she is beautiful and adorable! I too have one of the non sleeping variety of babies – after two girls who took naps and eventually managed to sleep at night I have a wee man who at 11 months will nap in his cot for at most 45 minutes, which is all he has ever done since he was born, yet will sleep in the sling on me for a good couple of hours; wakes at least twice in the evening, needing cuddles and nursing to be settled again and then wakes up at midnight at which point he comes into bed with me where he sleeps quite happily in the crook of my arm, nursing whenever he wakes up I think. But I have faith that it will get better and eventually he will sleep and I will sleep – and I’m sure the same is true for Marina Grace. there isn’t any magic wand you can wave, but knowing that you’re not the only one sometimes makes it easier!

  • Tina

    August 2, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    Awww her bikini really is the cutest! I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time with Marina 🙁 I hope that her crying gets better as soon as possible so you can enjoy her while she’s so tiny!

  • Momista Beginnings

    August 4, 2015 at 1:16 am

    She’s the cutest. And boy, I could gnaw on her arms for hours. How creepy of a comment is this, right?! I can’t get enough of Margo’s rolls. They’re the best. I remember being a little sad when Mia started thinning out and when the backs of her legs lost their chubs. I wish my rolls and chubs were thought of as just as cute 🙁 Haha. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re STILL going through this. I check your blog and IG often, every time hoping to read good news…improvements. I’d have to agree that it does seem like she’s just exhausted because I’ve read (as I’m sure you have) how vital their sleep is and how not getting it can make them even more difficult to put down for naps. And of course if she was your only child than you could definitely just take long naps together everyday but I know how NOT possible that is with 2 kiddos. I’ve had plenty of moments when Margo just had to “deal with it”, whatever her “it” was at the moment, while I cared for Mia or just used the bathroom. Anyways, I’m so pulling for you guys…rooting for you…praying and hoping for more calm, peace and stability. Keep that positivity. -Misty

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