Overcome Fear, Lead by Example

DenaAugust 26, 2009

“Be the change that you want to see in the world.” —Mahatma Gandhi

This post is about why talk is cheap and how you can overcome fear to become a true leader. For most of my life, I have been known to give great advice. I have led people by the hand to paths of happiness, growth, and strength. I have convinced friends, colleagues, and strangers to let go of crushing fear and succeed. Still, I was not a leader.

Was I a hypocrite preaching to others about success and fearless living? No, I was simply afraid. Most of us are. We are afraid to live above our fears, to crush and conquer them. Recently, I have learned how to beat that fear and I am going to share my story with you.

Stop and think about the things in your world that you would like to see change. Why haven’t you made those changes already? The answer is almost always going to be fear. If you want to change, inspire, and lead — you must live without fear. You must lead by example. It is not enough to tell others how to live. It is not enough to speak about the life of your dreams. Success is not achieved by words, it is achieved by action. Talk is cheap.

Recently I have begun to eliminate fear-based thought and action from my life. For the first time, I am leading by example. I am living the life that I have been teaching and preaching for so long. You can do it too. Here’s how.

Accept That Fear is Driving You
The first step in this process is acceptance and understanding. Recognize that you are practicing fear-based thought and action. Here are some examples.

Fear-based thought:
I would like to travel to China but I could not afford that.
I would like to start a business but I am not driven enough.
I would like to become a doctor but I would not succeed.

Fear-based action:
Remain at your 9 to 5 because you are afraid to lose that paycheck.
Settle for a salary that is less than you deserve because you are afraid to ask for more.
Take a day trip to Chinatown because China is out of your reach.

Every one of the above examples is based in fear. A person that practices cheap talk might preach to others about why those statements are weak. They might convince others that they are stronger than those excuses but a cheap talker is all talk. All of the words are meaningless unless they practice what they preach.

This process is not a one week change or even a three month change. Moving out of fear-based living is a lifestyle overhaul. It is a complete adjustment of your thought process. Fear-based living can be replaced by strength- and love-based living. Leaders are the people who do it. Think about the people that you look up to, the people that teach and inspire you. Do you think that those people live in fear? Or do you think that they crush their fears and go after what they desire no matter what the cost? If the people you look up to are worth their weight in salt, then they are leaders. They are people who live lives based in strength and love, not in fear.

Crush the Fears and Live

Once you are able to recognize and accept your fear-based thoughts and actions, you can begin to overcome them. As fear-based thoughts arise in your mind, write them down. As you complete fear-based actions throughout the day, write them down. Once you have that list, read it. Let the fear wash over you as you realize that you are about to change your life. You are about to begin living in strength, in faith, and in love.

“Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.” —Tony Robbins

Take every single one of those fear-based thoughts and actions and on another piece of paper write down what you will do to finally make the changes in your life that you have wanted for so long. Then tear the paper filled with fear-based thoughts and actions to shreds, throw it away, burn it, destroy it. Feel those fear-based thoughts and actions disappear. Fill that space in your heart and mind with strength and love. Believe that you will live in strength and set out to make it happen.

Practice Visualization & Reach Your Goals

Now it is time to really identify your dreams and turn them into realities. Once you have crushed your fears, you can set off on your journey of love, faith, and strength. Previously I wrote an entire post on this topic, check that out for more on goal-setting and accomplishment.

Be the Change, Be the Light

You have crushed your fears, you are achieving your goals, now it is time to lead. A true leader is a person that leads by example. A true leader is a person that goes after every single thing that she wants because she is not afraid. Then she teaches others how they can do the same.

If you want to be a leader, you must live the life that you are preaching. You cannot command an army if you’ve not stepped foot on a battlefield. You can not teach children if you are not intelligent and thoughtful. You cannot teach people to live without fear if you yourself are living in fear. But if you do these things, if you become a true leader – then you will lead and you will be a light in this world to many.

If you practice each of the steps mentioned above, eventually you will find that fear-based thought and action is no longer a part of you. Your life will be so full of strength and love that there will be no room for fear. In order for this to work, you must believe in yourself. You must have faith that the universe has a plan for you and that the path you are on is the right path. Strength, happiness, and success are all choices that you have to make for yourself. You can not search for these things, you must live them. There are deep wells of strength and promise within you. Now is the time to draw on them.

I am sending you my love, my hope, and my belief that you can and will live the life that you were born to live.

Comments (5)

  • owenmarcus

    August 27, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks for the great post. I need the reminder to “be the change.” On a good day, I get close.


  • Dena

    August 30, 2009 at 10:23 am

    @owenmarcus Thank you very much for your comment. I am really glad that the reminder meant something to you. That is all that we need sometimes, little reminders to be the best that we can. Cheers!

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  • Dena Botbyl

    July 12, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Overcome Fear, Lead by Example http://bit.ly/cGXlnR

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