He Sacrifices His Health In Order to Make Money
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:
“Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
Recently, I read this quote and I’ve been reeling from it ever since. It was as though someone took a giant microscope and placed it over my life. For the first time, I could see everything perfectly clearly. I could see the big picture and… I was horrified.
This: He sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. It reverberated over & over in my mind like I was between two gongs and someone was slamming them both with the force of a freight train. Dramatic imagery, I know, but that’s how it felt. My reaction was visceral like I was kicked in the stomach.
I had this reaction because it was like everything that I thought I “knew” was turned upside down and shook empty like a jar of pennies. See, I’ve been teaching about “Creating the Life of Your Dreams” for awhile now. I had even convinced myself, that I was creating the life of my own dreams. I thought I’d done a pretty good job of ignoring societies rules and living by my own. But then I read the Dalai Lama quote and everything came crumbling down around me.
The Truth, Light
I’ve been living with the wool half pulled over my eyes. Yes, I was creating the life of my dreams—but only marginally! I created this site. I started life-coaching & motivational speaking. I was living my passions. But I was still worshiping the almighty dollar and as many times as I said, “I don’t care what other people think…” I still cared what other people thought!
I wasn’t intentionally lying (to myself or to others). I was in the dark, unaware.
When I read the Dalai Lama quote it was like a light bulb went on after a long time in the darkness. I could finally see. What did I see? Here is a short story that I read a few years ago. Of course it stuck with me then, but somehow I let its wisdom slip away.
The Fisherman and the Businessman
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village. As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish. The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman. “I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with your kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman smiled.
Icing on the cake. Straw that broke the camel’s back. And all that jazz.
As if I was not already completely over the edge about all of this, then my co-worker was listening to Howard Stern yesterday and I overheard this: Jobs that require sitting increase risk of death regardless of diet/exercise.
Since college, I’ve spent my life sitting at a desk working on a computer. I spent three years chained to sitting at a desk, responding to emails, and fighting sleep listening in on conference calls. And then, I started blogging/speaking/coaching (which I am so passionate about) but still sitting at a desk staring at my MacBook 99% of the time.
Fact Vs. Excuse
It just really hit me that the reason that I do all of this is because I feel like I should or I have to and it’s all a complete load of bullocks. Right now I work in an office Monday – Thursday, 9 – 5. I life coach whenever possible, typically before 8 a.m. and after 5:00 p.m. on weekdays. I tutor on Mondays & Thursdays after my office job. And I take every motivational speaking gig that’s offered to me (paying or not).
I am running around like a hamster going nowhere on a wheel—exactly what I tell everyone NOT to do—all because I think I have to. Why do I think I have to? Because I am confusing excuses with facts. And there is one fact excuse that keeps popping up over & over: I HAVE TO PAY MY BILLS.
I have to pay bills. REALITY: IT’S AN EXCUSE, NOT A FACT. I don’t need my car, my clothes, my cell phone, my Internet connection, or half of the other crap that I spend my money on. My credit score doesn’t matter all that much either. Despite the fact that it’s great right now, I’d get along just fine even if it wasn’t so great. If I stopped paying my bills, I wouldn’t have all that much trouble finding food & shelter or continuing to LIVE. IF I STOPPED PAYING MY BILLS, IT WOULDN’T KILL ME. Also, I would probably wind up with a lot less useless crap that I don’t really need!
I Know Where I’m Going
And so now that I’ve gone off on a quite a rant, I have to tell you that I can’t wrap all of this up in a nice, little package with a pretty pink bow on top. I don’t know the answer yet, but… I’m getting closer. What I do know is this.
- I do not want to spend the rest of my life sitting behind a desk. I love blogging, coaching, and speaking; but I’m going to have to be more creative with my medium. My passion is creating positive change in people’s lives and there are ways to do it away from the computer. (For example, I love working with children & I’ve honestly always dreamed of becoming a nanny.)
- The desk job thing isn’t going to cut it for me. Yes, at the moment there are bills with my name on them, but using those bills as an excuse to do stuff that I hate isn’t going to fly anymore.
- And finally. I am going to stop giving a damn what other people think—Right now. I value constructive criticism immensely. I welcome opinions, discussion, and insight with open arms. But, my life is not the Hotel California. You can check out anytime you like and you can always leave.. 😉
To close this, I’ll quote my hero (who—as I’m sure you’ve noticed—I never get sick of). Enter Tyler Durden, “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.”
In love & light,
Dena
had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.
Thanks for the story. SO TRUE. These guys by the ocean–in Rio they’re called caiçara–I don’t know if they’d ever put it like Coelho, but they LIVE it.
We do have to face some brutal facts–our purpose may require X% Screen time. The main thing (to me), is to challenge it. Step away. Unplug. Face the brain fog. Listen to the theophony of slow, slow nature.
Great simile re:pennies. Beginner’s mind reframed in a way a consumerist American could understand. Wished I thought of it for my last post (about finding Hot Flaming Faith in “tired” biblical texts by rereading w/out predjudice).
godspeed,
M
Dena, such an insightful, wise post. Life is too short and full of experiences to waste one minute of it. A timely reminder for me. Thank you!!
@ Mark – I’m really glad that you enjoyed the tale. It is one of my favourites for sure. Coelho really is brilliant. I know that some people think “The Alchemist ” is overrated, but I really adored it. I can’t wait to read some more of his work.
By the way, I am so jealous that you get to the caiçara in person! It must be an amazing thing to behold. Thanks for your kind words, always.
@ Andra – Thank you, doll! I am glad you enjoyed it. It was true soul-speak. I just let it all out. So necessary once in awhile. You always inspire me there, Cootchi Mama. XOXO
I’m freaking out right now. You and I got endless similarities in our thoughts and fears. Pay the bills is the biggest excuse for me I know. And know what? I’m not even paying bills right now but already fear the future and want to get money to pay them then.
Also I’ve read the quote of Dalai Lama and remembered the story of the fishermen and businessmen and.. There it is!! WTF 🙂 and Tyler durden at the end.. I love that.
You are so right.
It’s all an excuse.
Fear dominates us all far too much!!!
@ Mike – Thank you so much for your support. I really, really appreciate knowing that I am not alone Honestly I’ve felt a bit vulnerable since I published this post yesterday. Wondering– “Will anyone think less of me for exposing insecurities this way? For making such strong claims?” But then I remember my commitment to stop caring what other people think. At the end of the day, I have to lay my head down on the pillow and feel good about me. I can’t please every one and I won’t try to.
Yea. It’s time that we stop letting the fear & excuses rule our lives and start living instead with clarity and a true sense of purpose.
“But then I remember my commitment to stop caring what other people think. At the end of the day, I have to lay my head down on the pillow and feel good about me. I can’t please every one and I won’t try to.”
I’m fighting with my own fears right now and your sentences just demolished them right away! BAM!
If you keep going that path you and your life will be legendary and of great value for any other human being who fears to be authentic to himself.
I enjoyed your post. Oddly, I came across this quote yesterday and wrote a piece about it, too. I can related to your reaction. Very powerful. Interesting blog you have!
http://isthisinteresting.com/2011/08/05/a-dalai-lama-crash-diet/
I hope you write more about these tensions… fascinating stuff.
Wow, I just come across this from google, when I was searching the Dalia lama passage. Everything you say is so true, and I love that fisherman story.
What is this site, is it your blog? Im really interested
Hi Adam! Thank you so much for the comment. Yes this is my personal website/blog. You can find out all about me and this site here: http://evolutionyou.net/about/
I’m very pleased to meet you and happy that you found me. 🙂
–Dena
Hey Dena, that fisherman had it right all along!! As did everyone he let into his life… I guess that businessman discovered his consultancy fees were short-lived on this one and moved on to pastures “green” (in all senses of the word – naive, monetary, sick, jealous)… Many thanks for the tale!!
As Adam (above comment), I was looking for the Dalai Lama’s quote and found your thoughts adjoined… I “self-discovered” this wisdom recently, and have since started to regain my health… One of my Japanese friends put the Dalai Lama quote on facebook; it summarized in a few sentences what I had started to think and I found it’s simplicity to be pure genius… Have you read much about the Tao by the way?
In short, you have inspired me to get my act together re my own site and so I wish you every success in realigning your live as “you” see fit! Good luck!!
Sincerely
Witha!
Hello, Witha! Thank you so much for the comment. You put a big smile on my face. The Tao Te Ching is one of my all-time favourite texts. I particularly enjoyed Wayne Dyer’s interpretation in his book, “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.” Have you read it? It is outstanding. I’ve written a bit on the topic here: http://evolutionyou.net/be-like-water/ and here: http://evolutionyou.net/surrender-happiness/. I hope that you’ll come visit again soon. XO
Hey, Dena!
Love the links you’ve added; thanks!! My elder daughter’s name is Mika and I’ve been in a conversation with a special someone about water recently… It’s all good!!
I’ve got a Dan Reid thing going at the mo… but will give Wayne Dyer a shot in due course…
Enjoy your path…
Witha
Both of them were wrong. The fisherman should have worked for a better pupose to help others other than himself. And the businessman should tell him that if he become rich, he should be a good example to others and have them set a goal in life, that is to get rich and help others and save a few to enjoy life, like travelling, meeting others, continue growing…etc.
So the goal is to get rich? Do you realize in which order you wrote the goals? THATS THE POINT OF THE STORY. THE NUMBER ONE GOAL SHOULD NOT BE TO BECOME RICH.
Read the Book ‘Your Money or your life’, that could help you understand the point of the story …
You’ve missed the point entirely. Sigh
Wow!! What a table of contents!! Have just ordered my copy…
Cheers,
Witha!!
I am even more amazed by the concept of a giant microscope. Does that make it a telescope? Or…a telescope to us but a microscope to the unknown and unknowable race of astral giants that are scrutinising our lives…
This quote was actually said years ago on a website called theinterviewwithgod . com, but regardless of who said it first, I know the Dalai Lama takes wisdom from all walks of life, and it is indeed a very wise observation
In real life the fisherman is not always better off. If his kid gets a cavity will he pay the dental bill on 1 USD per day?
Small scale fisheries have failed to keep pace with demand for food and employment in developing countries and urgently require attention to technology, health, economics and reform in management and governance.[5] Globally there are 38 million full-time fishers, and 20% of these fishers earn less than US$1 per day. Most wild-fish stocks are near the limit of their productive capacity or have destabilized or declined because of overfishing and other causes. Given these pressures and constraints, the capacity to maintain wild fisheries needs to increase, and aquaculture needs further development since it is the only alternative way fish production can be substantially increased.[6]
I think that his children are better off with cavities than with a father who works 7 days a week 16 hours a day, a nanny who raises them, and McDonald’s for dinner every night that makes them obese and unloved!!
Wild-fish stocks are destabilized because of the development that you speak of! Where are you getting this from?? It looks like you’ve copy and pasted it from somewhere with the [5] and [6] notations.
What a shame. I am sorry that my piece has not reached you. Read it again perhaps?
In love & light,
Dena
I think its not only cavities that they should worry about. There’s always health problems ,not to mention the genetic aspect to it. Circumstances like education,etc. How can he help and suport other people if he only fish a few? God teaches us to progress in order to help others and spread his words, not only to survive and not commit sin. Open your mind and think deeper.
TJL I think you are the one who should open your mind and read the story for what it is again.
Your argument sounds like a contradiction. Is your point that there are more important things that money or that we should strive towards progress? Not the same…
Without modernization, we could never have gone into space, built the tools necessary to discover sub-atomic particles, or discovered treatments for many of the painful diseases out there. There’s a tradeoff to mankind living simply. People live a lot longer now because of the systems we’ve set up, and business has played a major role in this. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Dalai Lama, I save every Gandhi quote I find, I’m spiritual, etc. But if everyone were simple villager folk, mankind would be a lot more vulnerable to disease, harmful superstition (due to lack of scientific development/education), natural disater, etc.
You may not think that you need to pay your bills, but if it started to snow and all you had was a fire in some log cabbin because you couldn’t afford a “real” house, then you’d want some more money pretty badly. The image you’ve painted of natural village life is being viewed through rose colored lenses.
Also..business people are not necessarily unhappy, and village people who live more simply are not necessarily happy. A person’s happiness depends on many things. An interesting examination of happiness (you might be interested as someone who enjoys life coaching) is Abraham Maslow’s Hierchy of Needs.
Ok so what have we gotten from going to space? We are still trying to get rid of hunger in the world. The moon has not really helped. Sub atomic particles so far have not done much for us, atomic particles has brought us destruction and our health really goes as far as a molecular level.
And as far as Maslow goes, I agree on the fact that happiness depends on many things. And is precisely the point. Those things are not ALL material, in fact the top 3 parts don’t even have to do with basic needs.
Modernization has helped us, it is true, but maybe we should not forget our roots and realize that our dependence on technology is making us just as week as no technology at all.
Yeah. selfish story. The fisherman only thinks of himself. His welfare only. Selfish. Maybe he shouldnt have been born. hehe. Adding population without purpose really. And he will influence others by being lazy.
You really missed the point of the story.
You do realize that fisheries have collapsed in third world countries due to the introduction of western chemicals and fishing techniques. Not to mention the extreme demand from wealthier countries that ravage foreign waters for aquatic life only to triple profits and chump change the fishing villages. Believe it or not, life is sustainable through basic tasks like hunting and gathering. How complacent or resilent are you?
Cavities are very affordable to fill in most countries. I find it sad that you can get robbed out here without insurance, especially on a root canal and crown.
As for the aqua culture farms you speak of. The fish are no better than hormone corn fed live stock. Only wild fish will benefit your health with omega threes, fatty, lipid acids, etc. Farmed fish would only be served as a source of protein. Chill and learn to live a little with what resources you have.
yes all the criticism below is true, i think society is getting very holistic in their thinking but the point of the story is don’t kill your health and well being for greed. Don’t forget to enjoy life WHEN YOU HAVE WHAT YOU NEED. As cliche as that is, it’s true.
If you think about someone living in a first world country, maybe that middle class men doesn’t have to back stab his colleagues and friends to climb the corporate ladder when he can already afford his family’s well being. If it was a lower class man who can’t afford to feed his family, then I don’t think we are talking about greed anymore.
So it’s not OK to exploit 4 yr olds & kittens, even if it pays for a foundation to help exploited 4 yr olds & kittens? How come highly educated Bankers seem to miss this little factoid?
This is what we have to remind ourselves every moment. We only have one life to live…
Dana, thanks for this. I read this last year when I was as cross roads in my life about what I really wanted to do. I was as a moment of deep despair but knew there was more to life and decided to start following up on what I really want to do – work with poor children and provide them with an education. I’m higher in the dream now and doing well. How are you doing? You were at crossroads when you wrote this…. So true, Our main purpose of working should not be to pay bills. It’s very possible to do what you love and make a living out of it.
Atlas Shrugged, and I did too. Not by choice, mind you, but when a post-graduate cannot find work in a down economy, why beat-up oneself.
So far, it’s been a good life. There are drawbacks, particularly in the social arena, but these can be overcome or avoided if one is willing to compromise or look more deeply beneath the surface than what is expected.
Thank you, Dena for sharing your discovery/insight. I too am on a similar path…having spent 20 years behind a desk and am now working as a Massage Therapist/stay-at-home mom. While I am not able to pay my own bills at present (thank you and blessings to my loving and supportive partner), I know that I will be back on my own monetary feet once my son is older. The most amazing thing to me during this transition was the lack of support I received from my family. I was making very good money and up until recently was maybe earning $300 per month. It’s been a huge change, but I am SO thankful to be away from the negative and nasty corporate america politics in order to spend this time with my baby. Nothing is more important right now than him. =)
You do realize that Fight Club was actually a story about how a backwards philosophy of self destruction could be used to create a fascist society. Tyler Durden = Fascist. Does that blow your mind as well?
Reading the comments is frustrating as it shows that most guys didn’t get the point. Worse, the people that do understand aren’t able to put it into context.
So, from my side: Thank you for this Dena, really appreaciate it and enjoyed reading.
Message to all the yesbuts: This is not about individualism, it is a picture painted to show priorities set wrong. It shall make you think if your priorities of life are beneficial.
It is about to rather follow the fear than to follow courage!
Interesting discussion. From my own point of view, I think it is a balance that is important to maintain. Not necessarily leaving everything behind to become a fisherman, not that there is anything wrong with that, its just that someone who lives from day to day like the fisherman has their own problems to deal with as well. If for example he was not able to catch fish because he lost his boat, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he would then struggle to feed his family and be in a tough situation where he would have to find another way. I think its about finding a balance of thinking about the short term as well as the long term aspects of your life. Its almost as if both the Dalai Lama and the fisherman story talk about the danger of living and worrying too much about the long run, but thinking too much of the short term/the present has its own consequences.
It’s a hoax. The Dali lama never said that.
I had a similar revelation to Dena one day – that my husband was working hard for a company he didnt enjoy so that we could pay the bills associated with a life, that although was quite nice and we were grateful for, wasn’t really what we wanted and felt empty. We just kinda ended up there because we got caught on the “I have bills to pay and a life to support tread mill” because first, we owned a home and second, there were always things we wanted to buy for retail therapy, whether for ourself or the home. After much thought and a serious bout with advanced cancer(me), we decided to find the life we wanted. First we sold our home and most of our nice ‘things’. My husband took a sabatical from work, meaning he’s always welcome back because he left on good terms, and we traveled all over the US by car visiting family, friends and all of our amazing National Parks for a year, and did some other things on our bucket list. We are in our later 50’s and have no children, and only one set of elderly parents to be concerned about. The thought I want to share though is to put lifestyle first, what you want your days to be like. Live each day as though it could be your last, because it could be. And remember what you just have to have today usually brings short lived pleasure. Even the most $$ doesn’t buy happiness. We have been friends with many wealthy people over the years and although they have lots of things, they are not necessarily happier. We are still developing the life we want but it seems to include: lots of traveling, hiking and the outdoors, family and friends, working on a bucket list, etc. etc. and searching for the perfect little hideaway to call our own.
Wow… right now Im working to jobs to afford my house and bills after reading dalai lama. I feel like im doing it for nothing
So many of the comments I’ve just read contain comparisons . . . to me, this wisdom isn’t about comparing anything with something else . . . it’s about whether it speaks to one’s heart and mind with applicable truth. Dena is right on with these observations, with her insight, it is the timing and level of that knowledge that ‘passes all understanding’ — loved this.
good stuff. il keep a tab on ur positiveness. u made me feel good today
was not said by the Dalai Lama,
http://ntweblog.blogspot.ca/2011/10/that-dalai-lama-quotation-and.html
I too was moved when I read this quote (apparently from the Dalai Lama) but was disapointed when I learned that it was hoax and he never uttered those words (see attached).
http://ntweblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/that-dalai-lama-quotation-and.html
You stated “I read the Dalai Lama quote and everything came crumbling down around me.” I sincerely hope my writing this does not conjure this, or similar emotion.
Nevertheless, a thought provoling quote whomever the originator. Personally, I believe in balance. A life divided into 33% quadrants of health, work, and home. If in balance (as close to thirds as possible) one maintains contentment with oneself and the others in said categories. If one sector of this equation becomes overloaded the other two undoubtably suffer.
If two are overloaded, then one area suffers tremendously. If I am a work-a-holic, then my home life and eventually my health will suffer the effects of too much time at work.
If I am a work-a-holic and an excercise nut, I probably don’t stay married for any length of time,
I think you see the pattern here, there can be balance in ones life if a mental decision made to maintain symmetry.
Oh, in effort to avoid plagiarism…
Nevertheless, a thought provoking quote whomever the originator[5]. (source: me)
I think you see the pattern here, there can be balance in ones life if a mental decision is made to maintain symmetry[6]. (source: also me)
No shame here. (you are reaching at least one of your readers 🙂
I love your blog page! I came across it looking for this quote by the Dalai Lama about health. I saw it posted at a clinic years ago. It impacted me so much that I had to find out where it came from.
Health or wealth or both together? when a person has bills to pay, a family to feed, and social expectations to fulfil, that person might sacrify health for a period of time to work crazy hard in order to be monetarily successful. After the crazy hard work period if the person start harvesting the fruits of labour, and the person is lucky enough to still have good
health, then hoorah! Only through having enough wealth that we can strike a balance. Otherwise we would just have to endure the rat race until we reach the finishing end and PERHAPS get our reward, mostly in the form of huge pile of retirement nest eggs.
The QUOTE about man sacrifices his life…
Dalai Lama never said this!
This appears to be a loose adaptation of the work of Jim Brown, published by Reata Strickland as An Interview with God (ISBN 0743229576).
Jim Brown( pen name: James Lachard)
Nice blog except for the bad language (don’t you know ugly language makes ugly people!)
Having jumped off the mouse-wheel 15 years ago, taking a powerful motorbike over the French Alps, down through the Spanish Pyrenees and landing on a lavender-covered hillside in the Portuguese Algarve; I can safely state, leaving was the best decision I ever made, although it took courage. I lived cheaply, have travelled the world on a shoestring and while there have been moments where a lack of money has constrained me, there has always been some new door opened, some worthwhile lesson. From being crushed by stress, to finding new life and uncovering the Soul, has been a blessing. It is only by engaging with the world do you find what lies within.
Fear not. You are young and have time.
I was looking for the “life/wealth/health” quote online, because I could not remember how it flowed, and then I found your blog. The Dalai Lama is taking credit for a quote that belongs to Ali Ibn Abi Talib, a man that lived 1400 yrs prior to him.
love the fisherman story 🙂
Great quote from Ghandi about the absurdity of trading work for life.
There’s nothing wrong with making money, but when making money becomes more important than your health, then this is wrong. I see people come to work sick instead of seeing a doctor for treatment, then this is wrong. My sister-in-law has cancer because she put money before her health. Dalai Lama is absolutely right.