taking stock // 2018 june

“Perhaps
we should love ourselves
so fiercely,
that when others see us
they know exactly
how it should be done.”
–Rudy Francisco

I can’t believe that we’re nearing the middle of June already. This spring has moved so quickly that it takes my breath away. The last thing that I can remember with clarity was February. It feels like we were there, then I blinked and now we’re here. It’s amazing how life has a way of speeding up & slowing down, how it is relative–a minute spent with your hand on a hot stove versus a minute eating an ice cream sundae. I think about that & I am reminded that there is only one thing to do about it: enjoy each moment, because regardless of what it is, it is precious.

There is so much that I want to write about these days–work, love, motherhood, faith, productivity–there is a great wave of creative energy swelling in my heart. Yet, at the moment I am lacking the only thing that I need in order to sit down and write, time. Time is scarce and fleeting. The great theme of my life as a mother, the thread that pulls me that only, perhaps, another single parent might understand fully. The ache of feeling that there is never quite enough: time, energy, self. How we take what is there and stretch it out, pulling it like wet dough, stretching it as slowly & carefully as we can, so that it does not tear. And still, it often breaks anyway. And that is okay. Because we knead it back together and we start over, over & over again.

In this season of my life, more than any before it, I am working on self love. I am carving out spaces within my heart, within my relationships, even within my daily responsibilities, to pause and love myself. How easy it is to stay so dead-focused on our flaws & imperfections that we miss out on chances to experience life fully & exquisitely. But in this experience of insecurity, there is also an opportunity to choose to focus someplace else–not on our flaws–but instead on our strengths, our magic, our radiance & wonder.

These are two of the sacred places where happiness lies: (1) self love and (2) deep appreciation for the present moment.

And with that, a little glimpse into what’s going on with me lately…

making // Winter was a time of finishing projects around the inside of the house and spring has been about getting things done outside. It started with a spring clean up and deciding where to plant my little vegetable garden. From there I had a new swing set/club house put in for the kids. There were many other projects that I dreamed of, but I prioritized and did what my budget could manage.

cooking // I go through ebbs & flows in terms of cooking. There are times when I am constantly in the kitchen, dreaming up new recipes and perfecting old ones. Then there are seasons when the kitchen is the last place that I want to be & everything is about simplicity. I get lots of questions about food, especially about how I implement our mostly plant-based lifestyle, so I made a separate Instagram account to take quick snaps of what me & the littles eat on a daily basis. If you’re interested, you can follow along at @what.we.eat.family.

drinking // Lots of water. Back in March, I invested in a gorgeous water bottle from bkr and it’s been the best thing to ever happen to my hydration. Most days I drink 2 liters of water + a cup of tea + a can of seltzer.

reading // We’ve started making monthly trips to the library again which makes me so happy. My recent favorite book was Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng. It was well-written and deeply moving. I highly recommend it. The kids favorite was Tree by Britta Teckentrup which we all loved so much that I decided to purchase our very own copy.

hoping // At the moment I am doing less hoping and more appreciating. If there is something that I hope for, it is the strength to love myself fully & unconditionally.

playing // Restarting my yoga practice has been such a wonderful, playful, and strengthening experience.

enjoying // The feeling of warm sunshine on my body during my daily walks. It’s a sensation that I miss so desperately through the winter months and I’m cherishing it so much right now.

waiting // This time of transition from spring to summer is so beautiful. I am so much looking forward to carnivals, fairs, camping trips, and visits to the seashore.

loving // This silk sleeping mask that I bought a couple of months ago. There is a ton of natural light in my bedroom and I had no idea how much better and later I could sleep with a sleeping mask on me. It’s a Godsend.

needing // Not much. I am tempted to say “time;” but I know it’s better organization & structure that I need more-so than actual time.

smelling // Manuka Honey soap on my just-washed hands.

wearing // The same baggy shorts for the last few days as my new thigh tattoo heals.

watching // There were a few weeks there where I had a sudden fascination with the prison documentary series Locked Up. That’s passed now. There hasn’t been much time for TV, but in the evenings I’ll usually watch a rotation of The Bachelorette, Westworld, or Terrace House before sleep.

listening // During my first few yoga classes, my instructor included Georgia by Vance Joy on the playlist. I fell so in love with it and now I listen to it at least once every time I get in the car. It makes my heart so happy.

That’s it for this edition of Taking Stock. Thank you for reading. Have a beautiful day, loves. xo

To see the other posts in my ‘Taking Stock’ series, click here.