Types of Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive Distortions

In my last post about anxiety, I shared a cognitive behavior therapy Thought Tracking Sheet. If you suffer from anxiety, this sheet can change your life. By tracking our thoughts and learning how to observe them and change them with the sheet, we can develop a habit that will eventually lead to automatic thought changes and less anxiety. Today we are going to talk about cognitive distortions.

What are cognitive distortions?

In the previous post, I talked about the two types of thoughts: Negative, Irrational Thoughts (which are the ones that cause anxiety) and Positive, Rational Thoughts (which are the ones that we are aiming for, and which lessen anxiety). Ideally, most of our thoughts would be positive and rational. If this were the case, anxiety wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, for those of us who live with anxiety, that isn’t the case. So how can we change that?

Aside from tracking thoughts, another way to combat negative, irrational thoughts is to learn more about them. If we understand these thoughts, we have power over them. Then, it becomes easier to transform them. So today, we are going to dive into negative, irrational thoughts which are also called cognitive distortions.

Cognitive distortions are thought patterns that cause people to view reality in inaccurate and negative ways. Most people experience cognitive distortions from time to time. However certain situations can cause cognitive distortion patterns to run rampant and this can lead to mental illness. When left unchecked cognitive distortions cause low motivation, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, relationship trouble, behavior problems, substance abuse, and the list goes on.

Types of Cognitive Distortions

There are many types of cognitive distortions. Today, I will share 10 of the most common ones.

Polarized or “black and white” thinking
This distortion manifests as an inability or unwillingness to see shades of gray. In other words, there is no middle ground, something is either wonderful or terrible.

An example of polarized thinking is one day believing that you are completely perfect and the next day believing that you are an absolute failure. Black or white, one extreme or the other. A more positive, rational way to view things is always to acknowledge the gray area: I am not perfect, nor am I a failure. I am a human being, I have flaws and I have strengths, just like all other human beings.

Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization takes one instance and generalizes it to an overall pattern. For example, if a friend is dishonest with you one time about something small, you may then chalk that person up to being a liar. Overgeneralizing: That person lied to me, she is a liar and a horrible person, she can never be trusted. A more positive, rational way to view this situation is to consider the entire length of the friendship. Has the friend been generally good and truthful? Did she tell a small lie to spare your feelings? In this case, perhaps she is not a liar. She is just a flawed human who made an error in judgment.

Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing or catastrophic thinking occurs when a person always focuses on the worst case scenario. They usually predict the most unfavorable outcome to an event and decide that if this outcome does happen, the result will be an epic disaster, failure or tragedy.

Here are some examples of catastrophizing:

“I just failed this test. I will never graduate high school. I will be a complete failure for the rest of my life.”
“I have a headache. I think I have a brain tumor. I probably don’t have long to live.”
“My wife is going to leave me for another man. I will never find anyone else. I am going to be alone and miserable forever.”

Catastrophizing causes a person to make situations seem much worse, dire, or severe than they really are.

Personalization
This distortion involves taking everything personally or believing that everything is somehow your fault without any logical reason to believe this. For example, if you blame yourself every time your spouse gets moody or irritated, this is personalization. The more positive and rational thought is, yes, my partner is moody right now. Likely it has nothing to do with me. Her thoughts are her own and she will soon feel better. It will pass.

Another common example of personalization is children who blame themselves for their parents problems. Tragically, many anxious, depressed children believe that their family would be better off if they had never been born.

Jumping to Conclusions
This distortion takes several forms, one is mind reading. Here, we hold the false belief that we know what another person is thinking. We jump to negative and irrational conclusions about another person’s thoughts. When in reality, we cannot know another person’s thoughts. Seeing a friend with a pained expression and jumping to the conclusion that she is upset with you would be an example of this.

Another example of jumping to conclusions is fortune telling. This refers to the habit of drawing conclusions and predictions with no evidence to base them on. For example a young man who is single might predict that he will never find love and will be alone forever. He is forecasting a future of loneliness simply because he has not yet found love, rather than acknowledging the potential of love that life might have in store for him.

Mental filtering
The mental filter distortion focuses on a single negative piece of information and excludes all of the positive ones. An example of this distortion is if a child gets in trouble at school and the parent dwells on that experience, viewing the child as bad and hopelessly misbehaved. All the while ignoring the years of positive behavior and achievements that the child showed previously. This mental filter can lead to an extreme pessimistic view of life, by refusing to see anything but the negative.

Discounting the positive
Conversely, the “Discounting the Positive” distortion acknowledges positive experiences, but rejects them instead of embracing them. For example, a person may be unable to handle compliments. If someone tells her that she looks beautiful today she might believe that she actually looks awful and the person is only complimenting her out of pity. This is a very damaging distortion as it continually strengthens negative thought patterns even when there is abundant proof of positivity.

“Should” statements
This distortion is the habit of making “should” statements. These are statements that you make about what you “should” do, what you “ought” to do, or what you “must” do. They can also be applied to others. These “should” expectations are often unrealistic and can not be met. As a result, guilt occurs when the expectations are not met. This leads to ongoing disappointment, anger and resentment. It can destroy one’s self-esteem and it can destroy interpersonal relationships.

Emotional reasoning
This distortion is one that virtually all people have experiences at one time or another. Emotional reasoning occurs when one accepts their thoughts and emotions as fact. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.” However, it is not always true. Just because we feel something doesn’t make it real. For example, if your spouse has a close friend that she enjoys spending time with, you may become jealous and think that your spouse has feelings for the friend. That, however, does not make it true.

Reasonably, we know that we should not take our feeling as facts, but it is a common and damaging habit nonetheless.

Always being right
Perfectionists will recognize this distortion. It is the belief that one must always be right. Those struggling with this distortion simply cannot accept the idea that they could be wrong. They will “fight to the death” to prove that they are right. These people will not settle at “agreeing to disagree” or accepting a difference of opinion. To them, disagreements are an intellectual and emotional battle that must be won at any cost. This distortion is particularly devastating to interpersonal relationships.

Cognitive distortions are the mind’s way of playing tricks on us and convincing us of things that simply aren’t true. While many cognitive distortions are common, and while they may be manageable in small doses, when these distortions occur with intensity and frequency, it takes a serious toll on one’s mental health. Intense, frequent, out-of-control cognitive distortion leads to mental illness.

Using a thought tracking sheet like the one I shared last week can be a valuable tool for addressing cognitive distortions. Once you start to write down your thoughts, you can more easily identify the ones that are negative, irrational distortions. You will begin to notice patterns in your ways of thinking. From there, you can determine which distortions are causing trouble for you. You can begin to overturn those distortions and re-frame them into positive, rational thoughts. With time and consistent practice, you will be able to do this automatically and you will be on the road to overcoming your anxiety.

If you find that your distortions are simply too strong and you cannot make progress on your own, or if you feel hopeless at any time, reach out to a trusted professional. The effects of debilitating anxiety are not a life sentence. They can be overcome and there is help out there for you. I am living proof of this!

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    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

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