You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” –Rumi
I wake up to the sound of my bedroom door opening and then the patter of little feet entering the room. “Mama…” Each morning it’s the same. One of them wakes the other. Roman comes to my room to announce that they are awake. Bleary-eyed, I fumble out of bed. Roman and I bumble through the small hallway between my room and theirs. I pick Marina up from her crib and sing, “Good morning, good morning, good morning to you. Good morning to Roman and Marina, too.” A little song that I made up a long time ago. I can’t remember ever not singing to them.
Was there ever a time that they were not with me? No. They were always inside of me, waiting. I dreamed of them before I knew them. But I always knew them.
Immediately the questions and the requests begin. And they will continue straight through until the end of the day, when we return to that little room once again for bedtime prayers and kisses.
☾
On this day, we are going on an adventure. I don’t know where to. We are up with the sun, as always. I go over options for the day in my head while they eat breakfast. Slowly, warm morning light fills the house. I decide that we will get in the car and go where the road takes us. I pack snacks, choose clothes, and get us out the door.
We end up at the botanical gardens. It’s always magical there, but we arrive to find the flowering trees in full bloom, and my breath is stolen away. Grace. We are so blessed always and always and always.