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Baby Steps into the Free World: How to Put Yourself First & Succeed

Several months ago, a friend of mine wrote an excellent guest post titled, Corporate Fluff. His mission was to free us all from the trenches of corporate slavery!

The post starts off like this: “The corporate world and the office work model are too full of corporate fluff and their own bullshit that business, companies and you as an individual forget what it’s all about.”

As a former cubicle monkey and a current 9 to 5 monkey myself, I could relate to everything that he was saying. Bring down the man! Follow your passion! Focus on providing the maximum value to the end user and cut out the middle men! It all made perfect sense to me. I was leaping out of my chair. I was fired up and ready to make moves… and then the reality hit me: I am tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt, and I am not ready to make that leap.

Call it cowardly, call it what you will, but I’m just not ready. I am determined to pay down this debt. I am making enormous sacrifices, working hard, and even practicing the fine art of frugality. And one day soon, I will be ready to join the ranks of The Free World! But for now, I’m still doing the 9 to 5; but here’s the key, I’m doing it my way, having a decent time of it, and learning a hell of a lot along the way.

In this post, I will teach you how you can take baby steps into The Free World by putting yourself first, no matter what your circumstances. Follow these five steps and you will be on the quick path to the Free World.

1. Focus on the Positive

Focusing on the positive is the key to life. Seriously, if you can manage to shift your thought to focus on the positive things around you, you will succeed every single time. It’s really simple — focus on the negative and be miserable, depressed, and unsuccessful or — focus on the positive and be happy, fulfilled, and successful. Which one will you choose?

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” —Mohandas Gandhi

No matter what your job is, there are good points about it. Whether you like it or not, the economy sucks right now. Approximately 195 million people around the world are unemployed and that statistic was taken before the economy took its recent nosedive. Whatever your job is, you are making money. Maybe you can afford to put food in your child’s mouth, maybe you can afford to put a shirt on your own back, maybe you can afford a lot of things and every time you start to complain, think about all of the people who can’t do those things. Think about the mother who can’t put food in her baby’s mouth or the man on the street, in the snow, who doesn’t have a shirt on his back. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

Aside from a paycheck, I know that there are a lot of other really good things about your job. Maybe it’s the view from the window on the second floor or the smile on the janitor’s face in the afternoon or maybe you are the janitor and it’s the steaming hot cup of coffee that you enjoy each morning at the start of your shift. Whatever it is, it’s there. You have to find it.
There are lots of little things to be grateful for, focus on those. …Or focus on the negatives and be miserable. You decide.

2. Never Accept Less Than You Deserve

My attitude toward life goes something like this: I am going to shine at every single thing that I do. I am going to work my ass off until I see positive results. When I fall, I am going to get back up—every, single, time. If you can honestly say that you take that approach in your own life, then you’d better be looking out for yourself along the way.

You’ve got to look out for yourself, because if you don’t do it, no one will. Some people will perceive your kindness and hard work ethic as a weakness. They will try to take advantage of you. The fact is that there are people who refuse to adopt a positive or fair attitude and they will remain miserable. They will try everything to drag you down with them. The key is to never let those people get to you. When they pop up, you keep moving. Pity them, show them kindness, but don’t ever stop on your path. Just keep going.
Take the steps to make sure that you are never taken advantage of. Keep track of your accomplishments, prove yourself, and excel at each task that you tackle. If you are working hard and giving it your all, make sure that you are being compensated & appreciated accordingly. If you are consistently giving 110% but never see the pay off, let it be known.

One time I went to a boss and asked for a substantial raise. I made sure that what I was asking for was legitimate, did my homework, and presented my case. I was scared as hell! But you can not imagine how gratifying it was to stand up for myself — even before I got a positive answer, I felt like a million bucks.

You’ve got to see the good in people but you’ve also got to be realistic. Make sure that you get what you deserve, nothing less.

3. Keep Your Eye on the Prize

Like I said above, I want to enter The Free World and I am getting closer everyday. I am experimenting with all sorts of liberating things lately — blogging, passive income, freelancing, etc. There are hundreds of paths to take in order to get where you want to be; but you’ve got to remember your goals.

Right now one of my main priorities is to pay down my student loan debt. Sometimes that means sacrifice. If I score a small freelance gig that generates some extra cash, I do not head to the shopping mall and buy myself a new purse. I take that money and I apply it toward my debt!

The principle is simple. If you are doing something that is taking you further away from your goal — stop now! Every single thing that you do should take you one step closer to reaching your goal.

4. Know When to Take a Break

Whether you are close to the end of your journey to the Free World or just at the beginning, there’s something you’ve always got to remember: You Come First. You need to take time out of every single day for you. Whether that means a cup of coffee in the morning or an hour of yoga after work, you must take time to clear & focus your mind at least once a day, preferably more.
What makes you happy — Long, quiet walks? Blasting out your ear drums with your Ipod? Writing in a journal? Taking your kids to the park? Whatever it is, embrace it! Work is hard work. Life is hard work. We are all just trying to get by and if we forget to take the time out to do what we love, what centers & focuses us, then we stand no chance to accomplish our goals.

Whether your ambition is to be a globe-trotting blogger or the CEO of a Fortune 500, you must remember that You Come First. Too many people climb their way to the top only to suffer a massive heart attack at age 50, or to look back and discover that there was never an ounce of passion or love.

At the end of the day, there is a lot more to life than money, fortune, and fame. Practice living with intention and you will find the balance between a life of fulfillment and a life of success.

5. Don’t Ever Give Up

It is not going to be easy, but anything that is worth it in the end rarely is.

“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.” —Sir Winston Churchill

You’ve got to keep a positive outlook, fight for yourself, stay focused, and know when to take a break. If you can keep those things at the front of your mind, then you will be on a sure path to success and your way to The Free World in no time at all. You are going to fall down, I can promise you that, but you are also going to get back up—every, single, time.

Remember that I am right here beside you, cheering you on!

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    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

3 Comments

  1. I really love this 5 key points you mentioned. What truly speaks to me is #3, because that’s what I have ignored most of the time. #1 and 4# are very important too but nearly a habit already, so no stress about that.

    What really motivates me is a combination of #2 and #3 – being aware of what I deserve and keeping one eye at it.

    I bet keeping your awareness on these 5 key points will push you forward to freedom!

    1. Thanks very much, Michael! I am so glad that you are so motivated by points 2 and 3. It is important to know where you can improve. Identifying your goals, is the first step in accomplishing them. I’m really glad you’ve found evolution you! I hope you’ll stick around.

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