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Fight Club Can Change Your Life

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don’t need… We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

 

If you have not yet read Chuck Palahniuk’s book, Fight Club: A Novel or watched the Fight Club movie, then you’ve got to do it. Right now. This movie can immediately change your life perspective. I own the DVD and it is one of the rare movies that I can watch over and over, gaining something new & insightful after each viewing. The quote above encompasses all that I love about the movie. Let’s break it down.

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars.

Have you heard about Lifestyle Design yet? In short, Lifestyle Design is creating the life that you want to lead. It means forgetting about what you “should” do — because your mother, father, preacher, teacher, president, whoever — told you so. It means doing what you love, what you are passionate about, what makes you happy.

True Life Style-designers refer to people that work 9 – 5 office jobs (like me) as cubicle monkeys. They question authority. They do not ever want to be told what to do or where to be. True Life Style-designers know that true happiness means being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, where ever you want. Fight Club is also about Lifestyle Design. If you’re interested in learning more about Lifestyle Design you should check out these sites: Wage Slave Rebel and How to be Rich & Happy.

stairs, subway, decision

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.

Another concept from the movie (another concept that I love) is Minimalism. Minimalism is the idea that more is really less. That we don’t need a lot of “stuff” to lead a meaningful existence and, in fact, the more stuff that we have the more meaningless our life actually becomes. I love the idea of minimalism — cutting the fat — and it is a huge aspect of Fight Club. At one point the lead character, Tyler Durden, says, “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” And it is so incredibly true.

Too many people define themselves by their possessions. It is an injustice to your soul to define yourself by a material object. Over the past year, I’ve grown to generally dislike excessive material possessions. Yes, I love to surround myself with beautiful things; however I think that our primary acquisitions should exist imprinted on our hearts & souls alone. These things can not be held in the hands. Therefore, I have begun the process of purging my possessions down to a minimum — selling clothing & jewelry, donating what’s left over, and throwing out the trash.

Recently I was watching a new movie, Going Up. The lead character is giving a motivational speech and I’d like to paraphrase it.

“Imagine your house is on fire. Imagine you have a backpack and you have to start filling it with your possessions. Where would you start, photographs? Put in all of your photographs. Then put in all of your knick-knacks, jewelry, etc. Next your dishes, your towels. Now go for the bigger stuff, your couch. Yes, shove it all in there, your bed, your dresser, the kitchen stove, the refrigerator. Get everything in there. Now take that whole backpack and throw it in the fire.

Imagine that. Imagine waking up one day and just being free from it all. Wouldn’t that be exhilarating? Who needs photographs. Photographs are for people with bad memories. The important stuff… you’ll remember.”

I don’t know if I got the quote exactly right, but it’s the concept that I want to get across. Minimalism. It is a choice, and you are capable of making that choice. When you are gone from this place called Earth, what do you want to leave behind? A bunch of useless crap? Or a legacy of passion & accomplishment?

We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

I believe this to be true. We were all raised on television and movies to some extent. For me, it was Disney movies. I was raised to believe that all girls are Princesses and that one day Prince Charming would come along and sweep me off my feet and that I would live in a castle (or at least a mansion) and pursue my passions and be taken care of; mostly that I would live happily ever after. And whether you thought that you would be a Princess too or someone else — a singer in Nashville, an actor in Hollywood, a basketball player in the NBA — like me, one day you realized that it wasn’t going to happen.

Nothing was going to be handed to you, there would be no red carpet, and no fairy dust. You realized that you were going to have to create the life that you want with nothing less than your own blood, sweat, and tears.

And that’s what I really like about Fight Club. It’s raw, it’s gritty, and it even feels a bit wrong. But it’s the truth. It makes you look at this life, really look at it, and think about what you want. Not what you think you should want, but what you really want — the things that make your gut scream and your heart sing and your eyes fill up with tears because they are so beautiful. That’s what you should be spending your life chasing. That’s what you should be living for and nothing less.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Find out what makes you come alive and go do that.” —Howard Thurman

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  • · · · ·

    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

14 Comments

  1. Bravo Dena…Bravo….

    What is sad is that I didn't even see the movie until one of my best friends randomly started talking about it and he sadi I must watch it. That was in 2006. I really wish I would have caught it when it came out in 1999 (I think?)

    Glad to see someone else pushing this move.

    David Damron

  2. @Dave – Ah! It is one of my all-time-favorites HANDS DOWN. I saw it for the first time years age. At that time I had no idea what lifestyle-design meant or even what it meant to truly pursue passion. But, even still, something about the movie spoke to my soul. I knew that it was "trying to tell me something."

    So many years later and now I know why the movie struck me so hard – it is the truth. Life is too short to piss it away doing shi* that you hate. End of story!

  3. This article is why I love your writing… this movie is beyond awesome in so many ways. Writing, tone, underlying meaning, and well, Brad Pitt's abs.

    I totally agree that you can watch it over and over, and it sparks something inside of you. I think it's about time for me to watch it again! 🙂

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  7. I love this movie, too. Exactly for the aspects you’ve summoned up. It’s a great message and I adore the minimalist lifestyle being presented there, too.

    Once I’ve shown the movie to a friend of mine and he didn’t got it. He did not understand what it was, that fascinates me about it.

    I think it’s mostly the first half of the movie which really counts for me. It’s the lessons how to get to point zero (don’t know if its called this way in english?).

    I just feel pure love for the idea being free of all this unnecessary stuff.

    1. Hello Michael!

      Thank you for your comment! It’s been awhile. I hope that all is well. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Fight Club. I adore it, too. It is one of the few movies that I have watched 10+ times and could watch 100 times more. I learn something new about myself & about human nature with each viewing.

      I am really glad that you liked the post and that you are another Fight Club fan! Take care.

      Cheers,
      Dena

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  10. I love the fact that you were able to hone in on the least vulgar and upsetting portions of this story to extract lessons from it. A lot of people “miss the mark” by talking about Brad Pitt’s washboard abs, the various accents, the exclusive and brutal nature of a fight club, and nothing else. <3 I could not take my eyes off of this movie when I was fourteen … it was the first time I had seen it and just had to read the book afterward.

    1. @ Kristin – Thank you, love. I am so grateful that you took the time to read. I just love this movie. Honestly, I’ve seen it so many times but learn something new each time. I could do without the washboard abs honestly, but I think the vulgarity — in its own way — lends itself to the most important concepts. This movie really shows us what happens when we reach rock-fucking-bottom. Without the brutality, I don’t think it would really be so bottom. Before Tyler Durden can know “see” what he needs to see, he has to wallow in the much, grime, pain, blood of reality.

      It’s an extreme statement of minimalism/chaos, but I think that’s part of what makes it so powerful! XO

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