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Fight Club Can Change Your Life

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don’t need… We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

 

If you have not yet read Chuck Palahniuk’s book, Fight Club: A Novel or watched the Fight Club movie, then you’ve got to do it. Right now. This movie can immediately change your life perspective. I own the DVD and it is one of the rare movies that I can watch over and over, gaining something new & insightful after each viewing. The quote above encompasses all that I love about the movie. Let’s break it down.

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars.

Have you heard about Lifestyle Design yet? In short, Lifestyle Design is creating the life that you want to lead. It means forgetting about what you “should” do — because your mother, father, preacher, teacher, president, whoever — told you so. It means doing what you love, what you are passionate about, what makes you happy.

True Life Style-designers refer to people that work 9 – 5 office jobs (like me) as cubicle monkeys. They question authority. They do not ever want to be told what to do or where to be. True Life Style-designers know that true happiness means being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, where ever you want. Fight Club is also about Lifestyle Design. If you’re interested in learning more about Lifestyle Design you should check out these sites: Wage Slave Rebel and How to be Rich & Happy.

stairs, subway, decision

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.

Another concept from the movie (another concept that I love) is Minimalism. Minimalism is the idea that more is really less. That we don’t need a lot of “stuff” to lead a meaningful existence and, in fact, the more stuff that we have the more meaningless our life actually becomes. I love the idea of minimalism — cutting the fat — and it is a huge aspect of Fight Club. At one point the lead character, Tyler Durden, says, “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” And it is so incredibly true.

Too many people define themselves by their possessions. It is an injustice to your soul to define yourself by a material object. Over the past year, I’ve grown to generally dislike excessive material possessions. Yes, I love to surround myself with beautiful things; however I think that our primary acquisitions should exist imprinted on our hearts & souls alone. These things can not be held in the hands. Therefore, I have begun the process of purging my possessions down to a minimum — selling clothing & jewelry, donating what’s left over, and throwing out the trash.

Recently I was watching a new movie, Going Up. The lead character is giving a motivational speech and I’d like to paraphrase it.

“Imagine your house is on fire. Imagine you have a backpack and you have to start filling it with your possessions. Where would you start, photographs? Put in all of your photographs. Then put in all of your knick-knacks, jewelry, etc. Next your dishes, your towels. Now go for the bigger stuff, your couch. Yes, shove it all in there, your bed, your dresser, the kitchen stove, the refrigerator. Get everything in there. Now take that whole backpack and throw it in the fire.

Imagine that. Imagine waking up one day and just being free from it all. Wouldn’t that be exhilarating? Who needs photographs. Photographs are for people with bad memories. The important stuff… you’ll remember.”

I don’t know if I got the quote exactly right, but it’s the concept that I want to get across. Minimalism. It is a choice, and you are capable of making that choice. When you are gone from this place called Earth, what do you want to leave behind? A bunch of useless crap? Or a legacy of passion & accomplishment?

We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

I believe this to be true. We were all raised on television and movies to some extent. For me, it was Disney movies. I was raised to believe that all girls are Princesses and that one day Prince Charming would come along and sweep me off my feet and that I would live in a castle (or at least a mansion) and pursue my passions and be taken care of; mostly that I would live happily ever after. And whether you thought that you would be a Princess too or someone else — a singer in Nashville, an actor in Hollywood, a basketball player in the NBA — like me, one day you realized that it wasn’t going to happen.

Nothing was going to be handed to you, there would be no red carpet, and no fairy dust. You realized that you were going to have to create the life that you want with nothing less than your own blood, sweat, and tears.

And that’s what I really like about Fight Club. It’s raw, it’s gritty, and it even feels a bit wrong. But it’s the truth. It makes you look at this life, really look at it, and think about what you want. Not what you think you should want, but what you really want — the things that make your gut scream and your heart sing and your eyes fill up with tears because they are so beautiful. That’s what you should be spending your life chasing. That’s what you should be living for and nothing less.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Find out what makes you come alive and go do that.” —Howard Thurman

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

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    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

    ————————————————————————

    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

14 Comments

  1. Bravo Dena…Bravo….

    What is sad is that I didn't even see the movie until one of my best friends randomly started talking about it and he sadi I must watch it. That was in 2006. I really wish I would have caught it when it came out in 1999 (I think?)

    Glad to see someone else pushing this move.

    David Damron

  2. @Dave – Ah! It is one of my all-time-favorites HANDS DOWN. I saw it for the first time years age. At that time I had no idea what lifestyle-design meant or even what it meant to truly pursue passion. But, even still, something about the movie spoke to my soul. I knew that it was "trying to tell me something."

    So many years later and now I know why the movie struck me so hard – it is the truth. Life is too short to piss it away doing shi* that you hate. End of story!

  3. This article is why I love your writing… this movie is beyond awesome in so many ways. Writing, tone, underlying meaning, and well, Brad Pitt's abs.

    I totally agree that you can watch it over and over, and it sparks something inside of you. I think it's about time for me to watch it again! 🙂

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  7. I love this movie, too. Exactly for the aspects you’ve summoned up. It’s a great message and I adore the minimalist lifestyle being presented there, too.

    Once I’ve shown the movie to a friend of mine and he didn’t got it. He did not understand what it was, that fascinates me about it.

    I think it’s mostly the first half of the movie which really counts for me. It’s the lessons how to get to point zero (don’t know if its called this way in english?).

    I just feel pure love for the idea being free of all this unnecessary stuff.

    1. Hello Michael!

      Thank you for your comment! It’s been awhile. I hope that all is well. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Fight Club. I adore it, too. It is one of the few movies that I have watched 10+ times and could watch 100 times more. I learn something new about myself & about human nature with each viewing.

      I am really glad that you liked the post and that you are another Fight Club fan! Take care.

      Cheers,
      Dena

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  10. I love the fact that you were able to hone in on the least vulgar and upsetting portions of this story to extract lessons from it. A lot of people “miss the mark” by talking about Brad Pitt’s washboard abs, the various accents, the exclusive and brutal nature of a fight club, and nothing else. <3 I could not take my eyes off of this movie when I was fourteen … it was the first time I had seen it and just had to read the book afterward.

    1. @ Kristin – Thank you, love. I am so grateful that you took the time to read. I just love this movie. Honestly, I’ve seen it so many times but learn something new each time. I could do without the washboard abs honestly, but I think the vulgarity — in its own way — lends itself to the most important concepts. This movie really shows us what happens when we reach rock-fucking-bottom. Without the brutality, I don’t think it would really be so bottom. Before Tyler Durden can know “see” what he needs to see, he has to wallow in the much, grime, pain, blood of reality.

      It’s an extreme statement of minimalism/chaos, but I think that’s part of what makes it so powerful! XO

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