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Fight Club Can Change Your Life

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don’t need… We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

 

If you have not yet read Chuck Palahniuk’s book, Fight Club: A Novel or watched the Fight Club movie, then you’ve got to do it. Right now. This movie can immediately change your life perspective. I own the DVD and it is one of the rare movies that I can watch over and over, gaining something new & insightful after each viewing. The quote above encompasses all that I love about the movie. Let’s break it down.

An entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars.

Have you heard about Lifestyle Design yet? In short, Lifestyle Design is creating the life that you want to lead. It means forgetting about what you “should” do — because your mother, father, preacher, teacher, president, whoever — told you so. It means doing what you love, what you are passionate about, what makes you happy.

True Life Style-designers refer to people that work 9 – 5 office jobs (like me) as cubicle monkeys. They question authority. They do not ever want to be told what to do or where to be. True Life Style-designers know that true happiness means being able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, where ever you want. Fight Club is also about Lifestyle Design. If you’re interested in learning more about Lifestyle Design you should check out these sites: Wage Slave Rebel and How to be Rich & Happy.

stairs, subway, decision

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.

Another concept from the movie (another concept that I love) is Minimalism. Minimalism is the idea that more is really less. That we don’t need a lot of “stuff” to lead a meaningful existence and, in fact, the more stuff that we have the more meaningless our life actually becomes. I love the idea of minimalism — cutting the fat — and it is a huge aspect of Fight Club. At one point the lead character, Tyler Durden, says, “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” And it is so incredibly true.

Too many people define themselves by their possessions. It is an injustice to your soul to define yourself by a material object. Over the past year, I’ve grown to generally dislike excessive material possessions. Yes, I love to surround myself with beautiful things; however I think that our primary acquisitions should exist imprinted on our hearts & souls alone. These things can not be held in the hands. Therefore, I have begun the process of purging my possessions down to a minimum — selling clothing & jewelry, donating what’s left over, and throwing out the trash.

Recently I was watching a new movie, Going Up. The lead character is giving a motivational speech and I’d like to paraphrase it.

“Imagine your house is on fire. Imagine you have a backpack and you have to start filling it with your possessions. Where would you start, photographs? Put in all of your photographs. Then put in all of your knick-knacks, jewelry, etc. Next your dishes, your towels. Now go for the bigger stuff, your couch. Yes, shove it all in there, your bed, your dresser, the kitchen stove, the refrigerator. Get everything in there. Now take that whole backpack and throw it in the fire.

Imagine that. Imagine waking up one day and just being free from it all. Wouldn’t that be exhilarating? Who needs photographs. Photographs are for people with bad memories. The important stuff… you’ll remember.”

I don’t know if I got the quote exactly right, but it’s the concept that I want to get across. Minimalism. It is a choice, and you are capable of making that choice. When you are gone from this place called Earth, what do you want to leave behind? A bunch of useless crap? Or a legacy of passion & accomplishment?

We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

I believe this to be true. We were all raised on television and movies to some extent. For me, it was Disney movies. I was raised to believe that all girls are Princesses and that one day Prince Charming would come along and sweep me off my feet and that I would live in a castle (or at least a mansion) and pursue my passions and be taken care of; mostly that I would live happily ever after. And whether you thought that you would be a Princess too or someone else — a singer in Nashville, an actor in Hollywood, a basketball player in the NBA — like me, one day you realized that it wasn’t going to happen.

Nothing was going to be handed to you, there would be no red carpet, and no fairy dust. You realized that you were going to have to create the life that you want with nothing less than your own blood, sweat, and tears.

And that’s what I really like about Fight Club. It’s raw, it’s gritty, and it even feels a bit wrong. But it’s the truth. It makes you look at this life, really look at it, and think about what you want. Not what you think you should want, but what you really want — the things that make your gut scream and your heart sing and your eyes fill up with tears because they are so beautiful. That’s what you should be spending your life chasing. That’s what you should be living for and nothing less.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Find out what makes you come alive and go do that.” —Howard Thurman

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

14 Comments

  1. Bravo Dena…Bravo….

    What is sad is that I didn't even see the movie until one of my best friends randomly started talking about it and he sadi I must watch it. That was in 2006. I really wish I would have caught it when it came out in 1999 (I think?)

    Glad to see someone else pushing this move.

    David Damron

  2. @Dave – Ah! It is one of my all-time-favorites HANDS DOWN. I saw it for the first time years age. At that time I had no idea what lifestyle-design meant or even what it meant to truly pursue passion. But, even still, something about the movie spoke to my soul. I knew that it was "trying to tell me something."

    So many years later and now I know why the movie struck me so hard – it is the truth. Life is too short to piss it away doing shi* that you hate. End of story!

  3. This article is why I love your writing… this movie is beyond awesome in so many ways. Writing, tone, underlying meaning, and well, Brad Pitt's abs.

    I totally agree that you can watch it over and over, and it sparks something inside of you. I think it's about time for me to watch it again! 🙂

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  7. I love this movie, too. Exactly for the aspects you’ve summoned up. It’s a great message and I adore the minimalist lifestyle being presented there, too.

    Once I’ve shown the movie to a friend of mine and he didn’t got it. He did not understand what it was, that fascinates me about it.

    I think it’s mostly the first half of the movie which really counts for me. It’s the lessons how to get to point zero (don’t know if its called this way in english?).

    I just feel pure love for the idea being free of all this unnecessary stuff.

    1. Hello Michael!

      Thank you for your comment! It’s been awhile. I hope that all is well. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Fight Club. I adore it, too. It is one of the few movies that I have watched 10+ times and could watch 100 times more. I learn something new about myself & about human nature with each viewing.

      I am really glad that you liked the post and that you are another Fight Club fan! Take care.

      Cheers,
      Dena

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  10. I love the fact that you were able to hone in on the least vulgar and upsetting portions of this story to extract lessons from it. A lot of people “miss the mark” by talking about Brad Pitt’s washboard abs, the various accents, the exclusive and brutal nature of a fight club, and nothing else. <3 I could not take my eyes off of this movie when I was fourteen … it was the first time I had seen it and just had to read the book afterward.

    1. @ Kristin – Thank you, love. I am so grateful that you took the time to read. I just love this movie. Honestly, I’ve seen it so many times but learn something new each time. I could do without the washboard abs honestly, but I think the vulgarity — in its own way — lends itself to the most important concepts. This movie really shows us what happens when we reach rock-fucking-bottom. Without the brutality, I don’t think it would really be so bottom. Before Tyler Durden can know “see” what he needs to see, he has to wallow in the much, grime, pain, blood of reality.

      It’s an extreme statement of minimalism/chaos, but I think that’s part of what makes it so powerful! XO

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