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Flexibility

evolutionyou.net | flexibility

Darwin’s ‘Survival of the Fittest’ theory is one of the most popular scientific theories out there. Most everyone who has watched the Discovery channel and/or has an education is familiar with it. However, there is also a common misconception about this theory. Most people equate it with strength. People think that the phrase ‘Survival of the Fittest’ and the phrase ‘Only the Strong Survive’ are inherently connected. They are not. These two concepts are different.

Survival of the fittest does not have to do with strength. The fittest creature is not necessarily the strongest creature. Rather, it is the creature most fit (or suited to) a particular environment.

For example, if you placed a Grizzly Bear and a Great White Shark in the warm waters of the Pacific, there is a good chance that the shark would have a better chance of survival, right? However, if you took the bear and the shark and placed them on a frozen tundra in Alaska, there is a good chance that the bear would have a better chance of survival, right? Right!

This is an extreme example, but it illustrates how a creature’s suitability or “fitness” for a given environment will highly influence the animal’s fitness for survival.

Animals can not control their ability to adapt to a given environment. If they have gills, they can survive in water. If not—they drown. If they have thick fur—they can survive in the cold, if not—they freeze. It’s that simple. They are what they are. To change things, it takes thousands of years of evolution.

WE—HUMAN BEINGS—ON THE OTHER HAND, are highly adaptable creatures. We have a gift among gifts. We can—if we so choose—be FLEXIBLE. For thousands of years we have been able to survive and dominate in climates that are unnatural to us. We learned to harness the power of fire. We learned to hunt animals and use their skins as clothing. We can survive in the coldest of climates with relative ease. Later, technology gave us masks and oxygen tanks so that we could travel hundreds of miles below the earth’s surface and into the sea. We built aeroplanes and spaceships that allow us to fly through the heavens without so much as a single feather.

With flexibility we have become the ultimate fittest.
We are the most fit for every environment. We are the ultimate animal. Yet…

Somehow we manage to lose track of our strength, our wisdom, our greatness. We allow other people or challenges to overcome us. Instead of harnessing the exquisite uniqueness of human adaptability, we cower in fear. We allow fear to rule us. We crush the weak to make our own weak souls feel powerful. We stifle the flames of our personal power and goodness. We live in darkness.

But there is another way. There is the way of flexibility, the way of harnessing the supreme power of our ultimate fitness. It is more than surviving—it is the way of flexibility.

Recently my own life path has been taking sharp twists and turns in unexpected directions. Unforeseen circumstances have been throwing themselves at my feet. Like anybody, I’ve been uncertain at times. Still, throughout, I knew in my heart that I had two choices. I could live in fear or I could bend, like a beautiful contortionist, like a palm tree in hurricane winds.

And so, I chose flexibility. I am bending with the tides even as they pull me in so many directions. This is the way of light, the choice of power. Life is a series of changes. Everything changes, we get comfortable, and then everything changes again.

When I was younger I thought that the more things change the more they stay the same. But as I get older, I believe more that the only constant in life is change.

We each have to make a decision. We can cling to what we know, rigidly and in fear. Or, we can practice flexibility. We can adapt to the waves of life as they wash over us—becoming the fittest, becoming the one that survives.

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

5 Comments

  1. Great post Dena. The other thing people forget is that survival is about diversity. When a species includes a wide variety of outlying traits, at least some members of the species will survive almost any environmental change (or disease, etc.). Evolutionary biologists believe that certain minority traits–for example, homosexuality–exist for exactly that reason. The more diverse our species is the more flexible we are. 

    1. Thank you for stopping by, Drew! Your diversity point is such a good one. I’m reviewing a book right now about why we (humans) crave change–and it all stems from that evolutionary drive toward diversity. Fascinating stuff–exactly why I enjoyed anthropology so much as an undergrad.

  2. You are right that the only constant in life is change, embrace it, roll with it and you’ll be stronger on the other side if it. We all have and will continue to face changes that scare us or confuse us; just take a breath, figure it out and choose the new path. We do have choices and change offers us  chances to be better, expand our personal scope and meet new people, places and opportunities.
     

  3. This has been a recurring theme in my life, too, Dena. Thank you for sharing (and so eloquently 🙂 )

  4. Dear Dena,
    this really rang in bell inside of me.
    I’ve been diagnosed with Multiple Scleroses in 2008 and my last fit last October turned me half blind on my right eye. It has gotten better, but it is far from gone.
    At the moment I am struggling a lot with accepting my situation – and your blog post reminded me of the fact that even though things might have changed for the worst, other things have improved – and I was really flexible up till now, though I struggled and cried.

    Thanks for always reminding me that we are all the same, going through the same problems. It makes me feel less alone!

    Love, Kathy

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