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Flexibility

evolutionyou.net | flexibility

Darwin’s ‘Survival of the Fittest’ theory is one of the most popular scientific theories out there. Most everyone who has watched the Discovery channel and/or has an education is familiar with it. However, there is also a common misconception about this theory. Most people equate it with strength. People think that the phrase ‘Survival of the Fittest’ and the phrase ‘Only the Strong Survive’ are inherently connected. They are not. These two concepts are different.

Survival of the fittest does not have to do with strength. The fittest creature is not necessarily the strongest creature. Rather, it is the creature most fit (or suited to) a particular environment.

For example, if you placed a Grizzly Bear and a Great White Shark in the warm waters of the Pacific, there is a good chance that the shark would have a better chance of survival, right? However, if you took the bear and the shark and placed them on a frozen tundra in Alaska, there is a good chance that the bear would have a better chance of survival, right? Right!

This is an extreme example, but it illustrates how a creature’s suitability or “fitness” for a given environment will highly influence the animal’s fitness for survival.

Animals can not control their ability to adapt to a given environment. If they have gills, they can survive in water. If not—they drown. If they have thick fur—they can survive in the cold, if not—they freeze. It’s that simple. They are what they are. To change things, it takes thousands of years of evolution.

WE—HUMAN BEINGS—ON THE OTHER HAND, are highly adaptable creatures. We have a gift among gifts. We can—if we so choose—be FLEXIBLE. For thousands of years we have been able to survive and dominate in climates that are unnatural to us. We learned to harness the power of fire. We learned to hunt animals and use their skins as clothing. We can survive in the coldest of climates with relative ease. Later, technology gave us masks and oxygen tanks so that we could travel hundreds of miles below the earth’s surface and into the sea. We built aeroplanes and spaceships that allow us to fly through the heavens without so much as a single feather.

With flexibility we have become the ultimate fittest.
We are the most fit for every environment. We are the ultimate animal. Yet…

Somehow we manage to lose track of our strength, our wisdom, our greatness. We allow other people or challenges to overcome us. Instead of harnessing the exquisite uniqueness of human adaptability, we cower in fear. We allow fear to rule us. We crush the weak to make our own weak souls feel powerful. We stifle the flames of our personal power and goodness. We live in darkness.

But there is another way. There is the way of flexibility, the way of harnessing the supreme power of our ultimate fitness. It is more than surviving—it is the way of flexibility.

Recently my own life path has been taking sharp twists and turns in unexpected directions. Unforeseen circumstances have been throwing themselves at my feet. Like anybody, I’ve been uncertain at times. Still, throughout, I knew in my heart that I had two choices. I could live in fear or I could bend, like a beautiful contortionist, like a palm tree in hurricane winds.

And so, I chose flexibility. I am bending with the tides even as they pull me in so many directions. This is the way of light, the choice of power. Life is a series of changes. Everything changes, we get comfortable, and then everything changes again.

When I was younger I thought that the more things change the more they stay the same. But as I get older, I believe more that the only constant in life is change.

We each have to make a decision. We can cling to what we know, rigidly and in fear. Or, we can practice flexibility. We can adapt to the waves of life as they wash over us—becoming the fittest, becoming the one that survives.

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

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    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

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    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

5 Comments

  1. Great post Dena. The other thing people forget is that survival is about diversity. When a species includes a wide variety of outlying traits, at least some members of the species will survive almost any environmental change (or disease, etc.). Evolutionary biologists believe that certain minority traits–for example, homosexuality–exist for exactly that reason. The more diverse our species is the more flexible we are. 

    1. Thank you for stopping by, Drew! Your diversity point is such a good one. I’m reviewing a book right now about why we (humans) crave change–and it all stems from that evolutionary drive toward diversity. Fascinating stuff–exactly why I enjoyed anthropology so much as an undergrad.

  2. You are right that the only constant in life is change, embrace it, roll with it and you’ll be stronger on the other side if it. We all have and will continue to face changes that scare us or confuse us; just take a breath, figure it out and choose the new path. We do have choices and change offers us  chances to be better, expand our personal scope and meet new people, places and opportunities.
     

  3. This has been a recurring theme in my life, too, Dena. Thank you for sharing (and so eloquently 🙂 )

  4. Dear Dena,
    this really rang in bell inside of me.
    I’ve been diagnosed with Multiple Scleroses in 2008 and my last fit last October turned me half blind on my right eye. It has gotten better, but it is far from gone.
    At the moment I am struggling a lot with accepting my situation – and your blog post reminded me of the fact that even though things might have changed for the worst, other things have improved – and I was really flexible up till now, though I struggled and cried.

    Thanks for always reminding me that we are all the same, going through the same problems. It makes me feel less alone!

    Love, Kathy

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