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Poetry Friday: I IMAGINE THE GODS | Jack Gilbert

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I IMAGINE THE GODS | Jack Gilbert

I imagine the gods saying, We will
make it up to you. We will give you
three wishes, they say. Let me see
the squirrels again, I tell them.
Let me eat some of the great hog
stuffed and roasted on its giant spit
and put out, steaming, into the winter
of my neighborhood when I was usually
too broke to afford even the hundred grams
I ate so happily walking up the cobbles,
past the Street of the Moon
and the Street of the Birdcage-Makers,
the Street of Silence and the Street
of the Little Pissing. We can give you
wisdom, they say in their rich voices.
Let me go at last to Hugette, I say,
the Algerian student with her huge eyes
who timidly invited me to her room
when I was too young and bewildered
that first year in Paris.
Let me at least fail at my life.
Think, they say patiently, we could
make you famous again. Let me fall
in love one last time, I beg them.
Teach me mortality, frighten me
into the present. Help me to find
the heft of these days. That the nights
will be full enough and my heart feral.

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

  • · · ·

    Let Go of Your Goals & Unleash Your Dreams

    Dreams are Just as Important as Goals

    I’ve written quite a bit about setting & accomplishing goals; overcoming fears; and making the best out of difficult situations. But what I haven’t written enough about is flat out—unleashing your dreams.

    Goal setting is a very mathematical process. It goes something like this: Define your goal. Map out the steps necessary to achieve it. Research, develop, act. Work until you get there. This is great, it makes sense, it gets things done. However, goals are full of limitations. In order to accomplish Z, first I need to do X and Y. If I want to be in this place by this date, then I’ve got to accomplish X, Y, and Z by this date. And so on and so forth it goes. We plan and work and strive.

    Yes, goal-setting & goal accomplishment are crucial elements to success; but sometimes we have to just let go of our goals and start unleashing our dreams! Throw caution to the wind and go for it. But how?, you ask. Well, you start by defining your dreams & broadcasting them to the world. Today I am going to define my wildest dreams & share them with you.

    “Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” –Ayn Rand

    Why Are We Afraid to Expose Our Dreams?

    To be honest, I am a bit nervous about this. I feel like I am exposing a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden. When you keep your wildest dreams to yourself, you’re safe. If no one knows what you want, then no one can hold you accountable. For example, if your best friend has no idea that you dream of moving to Costa Rica to collect butterflies in the rain forest—then she isn’t going to check in with you once a month and ask where you’re at. If you’re father doesn’t know that you dream of quitting your job to build collectible trains and sell them on Ebay—then he isn’t going to be hounding you with questions about it at the holidays. And when you are not faced with those questions you are safe. Your dreams can stay on the back burner while your life passes you by. You are not held accountable. You don’t experience pressure. But, my friend, today is the day that you must realize something critical: It is pressure that makes diamonds!

    Broadcast Your Desires to the Universe

    Steve Pavlina recently wrote a post called Broadcast Your Desires. In the post, he explains why broadcasting our desires & dreams to the world is the best way to make them a reality. If you can’t broadcast your desires, it’s fair to say that you don’t own them yet. In order to make your desires become real, you’ve got to speak up about them. If you’re going to receive them, then let it be known. If you find it necessary to hide what you desire, that suggests you aren’t ready to receive.

    Well, I am ready to receive! I hope that by taking this step in my own life, I will inspire you to take it in your own. Here I go…!

    My Dreams

    1. Grow evolution you
    I want to take this blog to great heights, attract thousands of readers, inspire people around the world. I want to monetize it so that I can devote myself to improving people’s lives full-time. And as a result, I want to become location independent so that I can travel the world, spreading love & light where ever I go.

    2. Write a book
    I haven’t quite worked out the details of this one yet—it’s a bit ever-evolving. I’ll pin it down soon enough, for now I am just dreaming wildly!

    3. Travel to the Great Pyramids in Egypt
    I feel intimately connected to the people of ancient Egypt. Perhaps it is the beautiful & mysterious way that Ancient Egypt is depicted in films & literature, whatever the cause, the very idea of it thrills me. I have long dreamed of visiting & exploring the ancient pyramids for myself.

    4. Learn to speak French

    5. Spend time living & working in Europe
    Italy, France, and Belgium all seem such lovely places to me. I’d like to spend at least a few months in each place.

    6. Safari in Africa
    This is the only dream on the list that I already accomplished. In the Summer of 2006 I studied abroad in Kenya, studying, on safari, and touring. It was a truly incredible experience and I’ll be making a post about it soon.

    7. Live in the wilderness
    I am insanely attracted to nature. In fact, I am quite convinced that I am a tigress/she-wolf/mermaid trapped in the body of a human woman. I feel most at home in nature—in the mountains, near the sea, anywhere wild. I’ve long dreamed of escaping the civilization circa Into the Wild. It would certainly not be a permanent thing; but I’d love to experience it at least for a few weeks to see how long I’d last.

    8. Have or adopt a baby
    Last February my sister gave birth to me beautiful Godson, Brian. Ever since then, I’ve heard the ticking of my own biological clock a tad louder than before. I am not in any rush, as you can see I’ve got a lot I want to do before I am quite ready to “settle down” but it is definitely an enormous dream of mine, some day.

    9. Spend time on a Native American reservation
    I’d like to spend some time living or at least working/volunteering on a reservation. I am passionate about Native American culture and it would be a great honor to serve the Native American people in some capacity and to learn first-hand their cultures, traditions, and needs.

    10. Serve on the Board of Directors for a prominent wildlife conservation foundation

    11. Visit a Buddhist monastery in Tibet

    ——————————–

    These are not all of my dreams, not nearly, but the list could go on and on. For now, these are the ones that I am working toward—in the near & distant—future. It was not nearly as difficult to share them as I thought it would be! This list will be ever-evolving and I will update it as my dreams are accomplished and as they change.

    Alright, I did my part. Now it’s your turn! I would love to hear about your big dreams in the comments or if you make your own big dream post please let me know about it.

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