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Letting go.

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“Most things will be okay eventually,
but not everything will be.
Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose.
Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard
and realize there is no choice but to let go.
Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
–Cheryl Strayed

Sometimes I feel that I am dealing with more than a human soul should have to bear. I grasp in the darkness for a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I fumble madly, overcome by fear. I think, how can a body withstand this?

But there is light in my days. There is light that I haven’t yet come to terms with. A fleeting glimmer that I wonder, at moments — Is it real? Sometimes, in the warmth of it, I stop and actually ask out loud, “Am I dreaming?” The reality of something beautiful contrasted against the pain is almost too much. Like sitting in a dark room for years and then being suddenly cast out into the harsh light of noonday, a cloudless sky, the brightest fire of the sun.

I turn toward faith. I shut my ego down and ask the divine to fill my spirit. I become an empty vessel, begging to be filled. I pray: Lord take away my fear and replace it with courage. Lord, take away my anger and replace it with kindness. Lord, take away my frustration and replace it with patience. Lord, take away my hurt and replace it with peace.

These are my prayers — whispered over and over to God. I know that these pains that I feel are messengers. I listen to them. I beg that the Universe turns them to sweetness. I can’t do it on my own. That’s the one thing that I am certain of. My God hasn’t failed me yet and I know that He won’t fail me now.

When I feel like I can’t go on any further, I turn to my breathing. Just take one breath and then another. If I can do that, I can keep going. And I do. And I will.

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  • · ·

    Is Your Resume a Hallmark Card?

    This is a guest post by David Pinkley, The Resume Sage.

    How do you describe yourself in your resume: team player?…quick learner?…detailed oriented? Do you really believe those self-proclaimed descriptions? Consider this: so does everyone else. That’s the problem. When it comes to describing ourselves we use the same words as everyone else. I know this because in 15 years working as a professional resume writer and executive recruiter I’ve seen nearly 40,000 resumes. Virtually all of them used works like: high energy, results oriented, uniquely qualified, detailed oriented, out-of-the-box thinker…and the list goes on. I call these Hallmark words.

    What is a Hallmark word? Example: You go to the store to buy a greeting card for your Sweetie whose birthday is approaching. You are overwhelmed because there are so many cards to choose from. You select your first one and it says something like: “May you experience all things bright and beautiful on your special day. Happy Birthday.” It’s a nice try but the message is contrived so we put the card back and pick another. The second one says: “Here’s a card just for you. You’ve always been tried and true. Happy Birthday.” Again, nice words but the message isn’t meaningful. (Who writes this stuff!?) You repeat this process numerous times until you find one with a message that resonates: “It just always felt right…and it always will. Happy Birthday.” Found it. You’re done.

    Hallmark words are words that look great on paper but don’t have any real meaning. It’s the same with resumes. Certain words look great on resumes but they are meaningless. If everyone says they’re a quick learner those words become diluted. (Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant.) Using Hallmark words on your resume will make it seem just as contrived as most greeting cards. The reader (i.e. hiring manager) won’t believe your message and will continue reading other resumes in search of one that resonates.

    The reality is we really don’t know how to describe ourselves. So we borrow words from other resumes and convince ourselves that these words really describe us. We don’t realize they have no meaning. Great resumes find authentic ways to communicate familiar themes. How do you do that?

    If you are really honest with yourself – you probably don’t know what you really do anyway. The only way to discover exactly what makes you unique is to look closely at your job. This takes introspection and self examination; a process most people dread because it seems like hard work – hence why most resumes are homogeneous. This is difficult to do for yourself. Self examination is much easier if you do it with someone else. But that’s another post.

    Blow the dust off your resume and take a look at the words you’ve used to describe yourself. Are they Hallmark words? If they are, you need to recognize that you are not saying anything unique. And no matter how true they are, they are not as meaningful or impactful as you think.

    Have questions? Contact David Pinkley at (704) 358-6000 or david@theresumesage.com. To learn more visit: www.TheResumeSage.com

    David Pinkley is the founder of The Resume Sage, a custom resume writing service. The Resume Sage critiques and writes resumes for accomplished professionals and executives. Those who work with The Resume Sage are purposeful about navigating their careers. They need more than just strong writing skills; they are seeking insights about how to differentiate themselves from their peers/competitors.

    David is a sought-after public speaker and has been featured on local news and NBC’s national news. He earned a B.S. degree from the University of Michigan and started his career in Chicago as a CPA at Ernst & Young and at Bank of America. He has lived and worked as an executive recruiter for 15 years in Charlotte, Raleigh, New York and Hong Kong.

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