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The Christmas Card That Never Was

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

How are you, friends? Have you all survived the post-holiday blues? January has been a little rough over here. We had a cold snap that lasted for two weeks straight where the temperatures didn’t rise above freezing at all. It was painful to be outside for even a couple of minutes. We’ve had several snow storms already and another one forecasted for this coming week. I am doing my best to embrace the winter and appreciate the ability to slow down and hibernate. It isn’t always easy though. I am happiest outside and I miss being able to take daily walk with my little loves.

At the end of 2017 I wrote a lot about how I had been reflecting and I shared a little bit about my hope and plans for 2018. And yet, I feel that there is a huge chunk of reflection that cannot take place until well after the holidays have passed. There is so much hustle & bustle at the end of the year and it’s not until a little ways into January, that my mind can truly slow down enough to process the enormity of the year that has passed.

2017 was a whirlwind for me in so many ways. I moved house twice. I made dramatic professional changes. I ended relationships. I began relationships. I broke and I grew and I transformed. It was a year of painful upheaval, of allowing myself to break open completely and stare hard at the contents of my soul. But at the end of the process, when I looked inside of myself — fully broken, fully raw — I found myself again. Everything that I thought that I had lost was not lost, it was sleeping. I woke up.

Every trial that I withstood in these past several years suddenly seems so worth it because I remembered who I am.

Sometime in November, I decided that I needed to take a break. My year had been so full and difficult and rewarding, and I felt myself become complete worn out. I was tired emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I took a break from everything. I allowed myself to say no, over and over and over again. I let go of any expectations that I would have normally held myself to. I almost didn’t get a Christmas tree, but then fate intervened. One thing that I never got around to was making Christmas cards. It made me sad because Christmas cards have been a favorite tradition for me since Roman was born, but I gave myself grace.

I gave myself grace over and over through November, December, and into January. It’s what I needed and I deserved it. We all deserve it. Giving myself grace is going to be an ongoing theme for me from here on out. I’ve spent a lifetime beating myself up over silly things, things I have no control over, and things that are not my fault. I am ready to stop that now.

So here you have the photo shoot that took place about a week before Christmas and the Christmas cards that never quite made it onto paper. And guess what? I don’t feel bad about that at all. Maybe next year.

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

2017 Christmas Card // livelovesimple.com

Lots of love, my dear friends. I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for all of us! xo

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

    ————————————————————————

    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

One Comment

  1. I feel like I’m surrounded by (blog) people who are undergoing internal changes – maybe positive energy does draw positive energy. I don’t know.
    Great post and I love your photos – it’s very warm and the facial expressions – even the dog – are beautiful. You’ve got the right idea – giving yourself grace, saying ‘no’.
    Hang in there.

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