
When I wrote earlier this month that I could feel big changes stirring in my bones, I wasn’t prepared for quite how big those changes would be & how quickly they would take hold. This past month has been one of the most difficult ones that I’ve had in awhile. I’ve been presented with more physical and emotional challenges than I care to count. The hardest part about it has been that I have chosen (and am choosing to) keep these struggles quiet. I’ve been relying heavily on the support of my closest friends & family. It’s difficult because since I started this blog in 2009, I’ve always been very public about my journey. Whether I was writing about my depression; struggling with weight loss; or announcing my marriage. But these recent struggles have been a little bit different, there are elements involved that have made me decide not to share… yet.
I have some really enormous decisions to make and it’s a little bit terrifying. To make things more difficult, I am in a lot of physical and emotional discomfort.
“Think of your pain like a big bunch of red roses, a beautiful thorn necklace. Everyone has one.” ―Francesca Lia Block
***
“These pains that you feel are messengers. Listen to them. Turn them to sweetness.” ―Rumi
Right now, I am putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, that’s all you can do. That and follow your heart. It’s the one thing that won’t ever steer you wrong.
Comments (13)
Clare
October 1, 2012 at 2:27 pm
When you ARE ready to share your truth, I know it will be beautiful.
Dena Botbyl
October 14, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Thank you, darling. Yes, beautiful & terrifying. Isn’t everything… <3
Kati
October 3, 2012 at 11:56 am
Dear Dena,
I wish you all the strength you need.
I know this might sound a bit dull, but everything goes away and better times will come again.
I am suffering from a chronic disease since 2008 and although it always hit me when I least expected it, everything always became good again – after some time of pain and struggling.
Take your time.
I am wishing you all the best!
Love, Kathy
Dena Botbyl
October 14, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Oh thank you, Kathy. Thank you for your kind words and especially for sharing from your own journey. I am so grateful for kind & loving people like you. You are a light to the world when there is darkness.
Kathy
October 15, 2012 at 1:50 am
And so are you, Dena! Thank you!
LouMello1
October 5, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Hoping that this too shall pass soon. Life is not always what we want it to be and sometimes can seem so overwhelming. Let yourself just “simmer” a while and allow friends and family to be there for you. You will get through it and decisions will take their course, let it just happen. Good thoughts for you.
Dena Botbyl
October 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm
Thank you, Lou. You are a rock to me through the difficult times. I am eternally grateful for your warm presence and sage advice. Yes, this too shall pass.
LouMello1
October 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Smiles for you as life takes its course.
Britanie Faith
October 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm
You’re amazing. So strong. I love you.
Dena Botbyl
October 14, 2012 at 5:47 pm
YOU are amazing. You give me strength and inspiration that I can’t even begin to explain. Thank you, always & forever.
Manuel Loigeret
October 16, 2012 at 10:23 am
Sending a lot of good intentions. You are strong.
Dena Botbyl
October 16, 2012 at 10:41 am
Thank you, Manu! You are very kind. You are also right, I am strong. I will get through this.
Joanna
October 20, 2012 at 3:16 am
Thinking of you… I also sent you an email. Lots of love, Joanna xoxo