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Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

evolutonyou.net | swans

When I wrote earlier this month that I could feel big changes stirring in my bones, I wasn’t prepared for quite how big those changes would be & how quickly they would take hold. This past month has been one of the most difficult ones that I’ve had in awhile. I’ve been presented with more physical and emotional challenges than I care to count. The hardest part about it has been that I have chosen (and am choosing to) keep these struggles quiet. I’ve been relying heavily on the support of my closest friends & family. It’s difficult because since I started this blog in 2009, I’ve always been very public about my journey. Whether I was writing about my depression; struggling with weight loss; or announcing my marriage. But these recent struggles have been a little bit different, there are elements involved that have made me decide not to share… yet.

I have some really enormous decisions to make and it’s a little bit terrifying. To make things more difficult, I am in a lot of physical and emotional discomfort.

“Think of your pain like a big bunch of red roses, a beautiful thorn necklace. Everyone has one.” ―Francesca Lia Block

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“These pains that you feel are messengers. Listen to them. Turn them to sweetness.” ―Rumi

Right now, I am putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, that’s all you can do. That and follow your heart. It’s the one thing that won’t ever steer you wrong.

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    Is Your Resume a Hallmark Card?

    This is a guest post by David Pinkley, The Resume Sage.

    How do you describe yourself in your resume: team player?…quick learner?…detailed oriented? Do you really believe those self-proclaimed descriptions? Consider this: so does everyone else. That’s the problem. When it comes to describing ourselves we use the same words as everyone else. I know this because in 15 years working as a professional resume writer and executive recruiter I’ve seen nearly 40,000 resumes. Virtually all of them used works like: high energy, results oriented, uniquely qualified, detailed oriented, out-of-the-box thinker…and the list goes on. I call these Hallmark words.

    What is a Hallmark word? Example: You go to the store to buy a greeting card for your Sweetie whose birthday is approaching. You are overwhelmed because there are so many cards to choose from. You select your first one and it says something like: “May you experience all things bright and beautiful on your special day. Happy Birthday.” It’s a nice try but the message is contrived so we put the card back and pick another. The second one says: “Here’s a card just for you. You’ve always been tried and true. Happy Birthday.” Again, nice words but the message isn’t meaningful. (Who writes this stuff!?) You repeat this process numerous times until you find one with a message that resonates: “It just always felt right…and it always will. Happy Birthday.” Found it. You’re done.

    Hallmark words are words that look great on paper but don’t have any real meaning. It’s the same with resumes. Certain words look great on resumes but they are meaningless. If everyone says they’re a quick learner those words become diluted. (Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant.) Using Hallmark words on your resume will make it seem just as contrived as most greeting cards. The reader (i.e. hiring manager) won’t believe your message and will continue reading other resumes in search of one that resonates.

    The reality is we really don’t know how to describe ourselves. So we borrow words from other resumes and convince ourselves that these words really describe us. We don’t realize they have no meaning. Great resumes find authentic ways to communicate familiar themes. How do you do that?

    If you are really honest with yourself – you probably don’t know what you really do anyway. The only way to discover exactly what makes you unique is to look closely at your job. This takes introspection and self examination; a process most people dread because it seems like hard work – hence why most resumes are homogeneous. This is difficult to do for yourself. Self examination is much easier if you do it with someone else. But that’s another post.

    Blow the dust off your resume and take a look at the words you’ve used to describe yourself. Are they Hallmark words? If they are, you need to recognize that you are not saying anything unique. And no matter how true they are, they are not as meaningful or impactful as you think.

    Have questions? Contact David Pinkley at (704) 358-6000 or david@theresumesage.com. To learn more visit: www.TheResumeSage.com

    David Pinkley is the founder of The Resume Sage, a custom resume writing service. The Resume Sage critiques and writes resumes for accomplished professionals and executives. Those who work with The Resume Sage are purposeful about navigating their careers. They need more than just strong writing skills; they are seeking insights about how to differentiate themselves from their peers/competitors.

    David is a sought-after public speaker and has been featured on local news and NBC’s national news. He earned a B.S. degree from the University of Michigan and started his career in Chicago as a CPA at Ernst & Young and at Bank of America. He has lived and worked as an executive recruiter for 15 years in Charlotte, Raleigh, New York and Hong Kong.

13 Comments

  1. Dear Dena,

    I wish you all the strength you need.
    I know this might sound a bit dull, but everything goes away and better times will come again.
    I am suffering from a chronic disease since 2008 and although it always hit me when I least expected it, everything always became good again – after some time of pain and struggling.

    Take your time.
    I am wishing you all the best!

    Love, Kathy

    1. Oh thank you, Kathy. Thank you for your kind words and especially for sharing from your own journey. I am so grateful for kind & loving people like you. You are a light to the world when there is darkness.

  2. Hoping that this too shall pass soon. Life is not always what we want it to be and sometimes can seem so overwhelming. Let yourself just “simmer” a while and allow friends and family to be there for you. You will get through it and decisions will take their course, let it just happen. Good thoughts for you.

    1. Thank you, Lou. You are a rock to me through the difficult times. I am eternally grateful for your warm presence and sage advice. Yes, this too shall pass.

    1. YOU are amazing. You give me strength and inspiration that I can’t even begin to explain. Thank you, always & forever.

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