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Where the Hell Have I Been?

Deep into the night of my twenty-sixth birthday—12:47 a.m. to be exact—someone hacked into my site and installed malicious adware. I am not sure what that term actually means, I have a general understanding, but I don’t care to know the extent of it. Simply put, I was crushed when I realized what had happened.

Over the next few days, I had to take everything apart and then put it back together—several times. It had taken me two whole months to get everything functioning properly the first time around. Having to do it again—after an attack—was daunting to say the least. My technical knowledge is “limited” at best. There were moments when I wanted to give in, give up, and let go. But then I thought of The Alchemist and how the Universe tests our strengths of will as we get closer to accomplishing our dreams. I accepted and understood that I was being tested and that all of this was necessary. I am getting closer to realizing the full potential of my dreams.

Bottom line: I am not giving up.

Shit happens. Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug. 😉

Throughout this ordeal there were times when I wanted to cry, scream, curse my luck, etc. Instead, I remembered that thousands of people were affected by this hack. I was not alone. There was a vulnerability in the version of WordPress that I was using and I am sure that there were other factors that lead up to the incident. But none of that even matters. What matters is that it happened. And because it happened, it was meant to happen. As much as I may have wanted to cry, scream, curse, and so on, I didn’t. I knew that if the Universe did not want me to endure it, I would not have been enduring it.

When it comes to the will of the Universe, resistance is never the answer. Acceptance always is.

It has been exactly two weeks now and the pieces are finally coming back together—albeit very slowly. Not only do I accept that this happened, but now I am grateful that this happened. I had been planning some changes & upgrades for awhile and this event has pushed those things to the front burner.

If this was my test, then bring it on Universe. I am not planning to give up on my dream anytime soon!

You can expect some changes here in the near future, including a new visual identity, new content features, and a much more “personal” feel to some of my writing. Thank you to those of you who have stuck around. Please be sure to update your RSS subscriptions. If you were receiving updates from a feed reader, be sure to re-subscribe here. If you were receiving updates by email, re-subscribe here. Or just click the links on the right side of the page.

In love & light,

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  • · · ·

    3 Super Simple Ways to Reduce Stress, Improve Health, & Live Happy

    Want to know how you can cut your stress in half?

    How about if there were two things you could change that would drastically alter your stress levels for the rest of your life?

    Now I bet you really want to know, right?

    What if I told you that doing these simple things will not only decrease your stress levels, but will also make you happier and decrease your risk of heart attack, ulcers, & high blood pressure?

    Ready for this? Four words: Stop Rushing, Take Vacation.

    Yes, that’s it. It’s really quite simple, but the results that you will see if you make these changes will amaze you.

    The Problems
    So why is rushing & a lack of vacation such a huge problem? Well, rushing every now and then wouldn’t really be such a problem. But in today’s society, the reality is that we don’t just rush every now and then. We rush all of the time.

    We are constantly hurrying from one thing to the next, multitasking, with our minds in five different places at once. We browse the Web in multiple Windows. We watch television while surfing the Web. We talk on our house phones while texting on our cell phones/iPhones/Blackberrys. While we’re driving to work, we’re planning our days, who we’ll see at each meeting, and what we’re having for dinner. While we’re eating dinner, we’re checking our email, responding to emails, and thinking about what’s on TV that night. While we’re watching TV that night, we’re thinking about everything we’ve got to do tomorrow. You get the picture…

    The Facts
    The United States is one of (if not the) most stressful, fast-paced, uptight societies in existence. The “American way” of rush, rush, rush has huge negative implications. And sadly, the rest of the world is beginning to follow suit. It’s not a good path to be on.

    Here are some statistics about minimum vacation days around the world:

    Austria — 35 days
    Brazil — 30 days
    Finland — 35 days
    Sweden — 32 days
    Ukraine — 24 days
    United States — 7 days
    (Source: http://nationmaster.com)

    7 days? Really? WTF United States!?!?!?

    Every year Expedia.com launches an intense Vacation Deprivation survey to gather the facts & the effects of American Vacation Deprivation.

    Check out these stats:

    Notice that despite earning the least amount of annual vacation days, Americans will still leave an average of 3 days unused! This goes to show that so many Americans don’t even use the little vacation time that they get! Not good.

    Why is Vacation So Important?
    Let’s talk about mental health.

    • 34% of Americans say they come back from vacation feeling better about their jobs and are even more productive.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling reconnected with family after vacation.

    It’s no big secret that work can be stressful. Even if you absolutely adore your career, you still have the occasional (or frequent) challenging day. If you refuse to take a breather every now & then, you are putting your mental health and your relationships at risk.

    Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, anxiety, depression, and so on are all symptoms of stress. Stress causes cortisol to build up in your body, the cortisol is then stored as dangerous fat. In addition to all of the physical symptoms of stress, there is the issue of rushing around. When you are rushing nonstop from place to place, it’s easy to stop for fast-food because you don’t make the time to cook nutritious meals for yourself and your family.

    If you look at the rates of obesity around the globe, you probably won’t be shocked to see where the United States fits in.

    That’s right, numero uno. Not a good place to be in this case. Americans are the most obese individuals in the world. A sad fact to note considering that we are also some of the richest people, with some of the most vast & diverse availability to nutritious & wholesome food. (Please watch Food, Inc. for more information on this topic.)

    Turning the Tide
    The facts are straightforward. Constant rushing & vacation deprivation will cause you harm. Here are 3 super simple ways that you can combat these harmful habits.

    1. Practice efficient time management. Keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself, no exceptions. We all have a ton of stuff that we want to get done, but we have to prioritize. Choose the tasks that mean the most to you and will provide you with the best ROI (return on investment). Don’t commit to anything that doesn’t benefit you, your career, your family, or your friends in a big way. Your time is precious and you should treat it as such.

    2. Use your vacation time, all of it. No matter how many days that your company allots for vacation, make sure and use it. If your company tends to be on the real stingy side with vacation, don’t be afraid to set a confidential meeting with your HR director to point out the importance of sufficient vacation time. Sufficient vacation time is mutually beneficial — you will feel better and thereby, your performance will improve. Win – Win!

    Likewise, if you work for yourself, make sure to pencil in enough time for R & R.

    3. Breathe. When you are rushing, you are most likely breathing shallow. Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rate & conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. Take time to observe your breathing throughout the day. If you find yourself shallow breathing, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest & deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

    * — * — * — * — *

    Slow down, be in the now.

  • · · · ·

    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

16 Comments

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  4. Yeah that all really sucked. I’m glad you finally pushed through it (also glad to see you’re running Headway!)

    You might want to look into backing up your database so that if something like this ever happens again you can just go back as if nothing ever happened. I’m using a host that backs up the server every day and I have a copy of my database backed up and sent to my email, too. Can’t be too careful!

    Good luck with this rebirth! I’m sure things will be better than ever!

    Reply

    1. @JD – Thank you so much for the comment & the support. I can not tell you how much it means to me.

      The sad thing is that my database was backed up and luckily, I had a “back up” for my back up of all my posts. But, for some reason, it wasn’t as easy as replacing the database. None of my theme information was saved in the back up and I ended up having issues with my feeds as well.

      It’s very possible that I didn’t do things the right way, even though I spent at least 6 hours on the phone with my host support team (GoDaddy). As I mentioned in the post (and as you know better than anyone, ha!) my technical skills leave much to be desired… Oh well — this time around — I’ll be saving everything and then some. 😉

      Yes, thank you for the good luck wishes and I agree — better than ever!

      Reply
  5. Pingback: J. D. Bentley

  6. Dena! That sucks!

    SO sorry to hear of this frustration, especially after you have come so far in your re-launch.

    I almost erased ALL of my my site once, and it drove me insane. Thank god my host had a back up, and I could restore it. Technical things are unbelievable frustrating… but good to see you back! You’ll get it up and running as good as new soon 🙂

    Reply

    1. @Karen – Thank you for the comment and for sharing your story. It really does make me feel better to know that I am not alone. <3

      Reply
  7. Pingback: Dena Botbyl

  8. Dena, I am so sorry to hear that you got hacked! I know that must have ruined your day pretty bad, but a strong person like yourself probably did better than most. To be really honest I almost completely lost my mind when I thought a year of blogging had been completely erased. This happened right after my subscribers went from 40 to 140 overnight. About a week later I BROKE something messing around with code and Hostmonster at first told me there was nothing they could do that I would have to start all over again. Luckily I found the one and only back I had that I forgot all about which was done a month prior, but all the changes I made to EOD during that time were for nothing because I had to do it ALL over again.

    I have been doing backups ever since. LOL

    P.S. I don’t have to write any articles for Mint for two whole weeks, so if I can get my act together, look forward to hearing from me about you know what!!

    Reply

    1. @Brad – Hey Brad! Thank you so much for the comment & for sharing your story! Wow! I can not imagine how stressful that must have been for you. I am so glad that things worked out in the long run. There is no doubt in my mind — this stuff happens to test our strength of will. How much do we really want to help others? In our cases, the will to help fight the good fight will always overcome the adversity stacked against us.

      I will be looking forward to hearing from you. 😉

      Reply
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