Do Not Seek Happiness, Live It

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” -Ghandi

You can spend your entire life searching for happiness, but you will never find it. You can search for the “right” house, car, clothing, jewelry, job, and mate but still you will not find happiness. The only path to happiness is to live a good life. When you learn to align your thoughts with your words and your words with your actions, that will lead to happiness, no searching necessary.

Think
Your mind is home to your thoughts. Your mind is the single most powerful force in your life. You alone have the power to choose, will you be happy or miserable? That thought, that choice, will drive the path of your life. Everything that happens to you will be a direct result of your choice, happiness or misery.

Many people choose happiness but they forget to live consciously. When you do not live consciously, you go into autopilot. You make conscious choices but then as you go about your days, you forget those choices. You let external factors drive your life, you forget to live your thoughts. You get sidetracked, frustrated, negative, and irrational. The perception that you have in your mind of what your life is (happiness) does not match with the reality of your life (misery). Therefore the thought, or the choice for happiness, is not enough on its own. It must be accompanied by both words and actions.

Speak
Many peoples’ perceptions of themselves are not aligned with reality. Just because they think up the life that they want to live does not mean that they actually live it. Just because you perceive yourself as being a certain kind of person, does not actually mean that you are that kind of person. If the things that you say do not match up with your thoughts, your vision is unreal.

A large part of living happiness is recognizing the difference between perception and reality. It takes practice.

People do judge you based on the things that you say, both verbally and non-verbally. If you wake up every morning and choose happiness and positivity, that is great. However, if you go into work every day and gossip with friends about other coworkers, your thoughts are clearly misaligned with your words. To choose happiness and positivity is not enough on its own. Your words must also reflect happiness and positivity. You must speak kindly of others. Every aspect of your communication should reflect your thoughts – love, smiles, kindness, compliments, wisdom.

Every time that you speak or communicate, be conscious and aware. Think before you speak. Ask yourself, will these words be aligned with my thoughts and with the vision that I have of myself?

Act
The final leg of this journey is action. Your thoughts are aligned with your words. You are thinking and speaking happiness, love, light. Now, take control of your actions. Visualize your goals, your life of happiness, your perception of you. What things does this person do? Maybe she volunteers, maybe she reaches out to loved ones often, maybe she creates beautiful art, maybe she trains her body to be its best. Visualize your happiness and make it happen. Write down your goals and then write down the steps that you must take to reach them. Make sure that everything that you do takes you one step closer to living a life of bliss. Each step that you take should be aligned with your thoughts of happiness and positivity. When you go out with friends, when you walk the dog, when you watch a movie – practice awareness. Learn from each action, sharpen yourself. Become more and more aligned each day. When you stumble and do something completely misaligned with your vision, forgive yourself.

“When running up a hill, it is alright to give up as many times as you wish – as long as your feet keep moving.” —Shoma Morita

When you falter, allow yourself to fall. And then, get back up — every single time. Believe that you can do this. Know that you have the power to accomplish anything. Know that the Universe is on your side and you can do it. Practice visualization. See yourself succeeding and then succeed.

“When you really want something to happen, the whole Universe conspires that your wish comes true.” —Paulo Coelho

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

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