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Heaven is a Place on Earth: How to End Your Personal Suffering

“I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Things are never going to change.”

“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”

“I give up.”

“I am tired, worn down, weak.”

“I just want this to be over.”

“I would be better off dead.”

Do any of those beliefs sound familiar? Have you ever felt that way? Do you feel that way right now?

Life is not always easy. In fact, some days it seems impossible. Many people are not even living their lives, they are simply surviving. Many people would love to be happy, but they just don’t know how.

“We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

The reality of life is that suffering is not necessary. The truth is that we can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die. The key to reaching heaven is to create happiness all around you. It starts by making simple choices and changing your beliefs.

First, you must choose to stop suffering.

“Suffering makes you feel safe because you know it so well. But there really is no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason you will not find. The same is true for happiness. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. Think about that. Read that sentence to yourself a few times. We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. If you are regularly having thoughts like the ones mentioned at the top of this post — “I can’t take it anymore; Things are never going to change; I give up” — what direction do you think you are moving in? If those thoughts are running through your head, then you are moving in a negative direction. You are suffering and you will continue to suffer.

In order to choose to stop suffering, you must choose to stop having thoughts about suffering. Remember that you are in control of your mind. You choose what thoughts get to pass there. Even as the negative thoughts pop up, you have the ability to crush them out. If you practice banishing the automatic negative thoughts, with time, they will appear in your mind less and less.

You must align your thoughts and your emotions. You must feel today how you wish to feel tomorrow. For example, imagine that you want to lose weight but you are struggling. The automatic thoughts that come into your mind are: “I am trying so hard but I have seen no results.” “I will never be able to lose this weight.” “I feel fat, ugly, and disgusting.”

Remember that you will always move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts, so where do you think that those thoughts will take you? Not any place good! Those thoughts are self-defeating. You must get rid of those thoughts and replace them with positive ones — feel today how you want to feel tomorrow. “I am strong and confident.” “I focus all of my energy on creating a healthy mind & body.” “I am beautiful.” If those are your dominant thoughts, they will take you straight to success.

You will be confident and you will reach your goals. You will work hard and you will not give up.

Then, you must recognize that beliefs are not facts.

“I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Things are never going to change.”

“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”

Do you know what each of those thoughts has in common? They are all beliefs and not only are they beliefs, they are also negative, irrational beliefs. For some reason, we tend to believe that just because we think something that it is automatically a fact. That is completely wrong and destructive.

If you take the time to analyze all of the thoughts that run through your head, even for five minutes, you will find that at least 90% of those thoughts are beliefs and not facts. You are constantly interpreting and judging the world around you, the people around you, and yourself. Therein lies the problem. You are making judgments and those judgments are beliefs.

When you believe something, you assume you are right to the point that you will destroy yourself in order to defend your position. Let’s look at the weight loss example again. If you believe that you are not capable of losing weight, you can defend that position until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Eventually you will become incapable of losing weight because of your own self-destructive thoughts.

However, if you recognize that your thought, “I can’t lost the weight” is only a belief (a false belief!) you can eliminate that thought and replace it with the truth. “I am strong. I am capable. I will lose this weight.”

“In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

Did you know that? It is absolutely true. There is no person in this world that is capable of hurting and damaging you in the way that you hurt and damage yourself. You are your own worst critic — but today I want you to become your own biggest fan. “I am strong. I am capable. I can do anything that I want to.” You need to tell yourself those things because they are true! The negative thoughts are false beliefs, but the positive truths are facts. You are capable, you are strong, you can do anything. There is no dream too great. In the history of the human race, people have come up against incredible odds and managed to achieve “unbelievable” things. There is no reason why you can not achieve the goals that you set for yourself. The first step is to believe that you can do it.

~~~

If you are capable of choosing happiness over suffering; if you are capable of accepting that your beliefs are not facts; you are also capable of experiencing heaven while you are here on Earth. There are beautiful things surrounding you all of the time. No matter who you are or where you are, there are pieces of heaven surrounding you always.

“In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.” —Aaron Rose

Life is truly what you make of it.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” —John Milton

If you have the tools and the desire to create your own personal heaven, you can can do it. You can live your life surrounded by love, peace, and success. Start right now!

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A couple of recommendations…

All of the quotes above by Don Miguel Ruiz come from his book, The Four Agreements. The book transformed my life and it can transform yours. I highly recommend it and you can check out some more information about the book my clicking the Amazon Widget on the right side of this page.

If you are interested in learning more about how to tell the difference between beliefs & facts in order to live a life of happiness, I also recommend checking out the e-book, How to Be Rich and Happy.

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  • · · ·

    3 Super Simple Ways to Reduce Stress, Improve Health, & Live Happy

    Want to know how you can cut your stress in half?

    How about if there were two things you could change that would drastically alter your stress levels for the rest of your life?

    Now I bet you really want to know, right?

    What if I told you that doing these simple things will not only decrease your stress levels, but will also make you happier and decrease your risk of heart attack, ulcers, & high blood pressure?

    Ready for this? Four words: Stop Rushing, Take Vacation.

    Yes, that’s it. It’s really quite simple, but the results that you will see if you make these changes will amaze you.

    The Problems
    So why is rushing & a lack of vacation such a huge problem? Well, rushing every now and then wouldn’t really be such a problem. But in today’s society, the reality is that we don’t just rush every now and then. We rush all of the time.

    We are constantly hurrying from one thing to the next, multitasking, with our minds in five different places at once. We browse the Web in multiple Windows. We watch television while surfing the Web. We talk on our house phones while texting on our cell phones/iPhones/Blackberrys. While we’re driving to work, we’re planning our days, who we’ll see at each meeting, and what we’re having for dinner. While we’re eating dinner, we’re checking our email, responding to emails, and thinking about what’s on TV that night. While we’re watching TV that night, we’re thinking about everything we’ve got to do tomorrow. You get the picture…

    The Facts
    The United States is one of (if not the) most stressful, fast-paced, uptight societies in existence. The “American way” of rush, rush, rush has huge negative implications. And sadly, the rest of the world is beginning to follow suit. It’s not a good path to be on.

    Here are some statistics about minimum vacation days around the world:

    Austria — 35 days
    Brazil — 30 days
    Finland — 35 days
    Sweden — 32 days
    Ukraine — 24 days
    United States — 7 days
    (Source: http://nationmaster.com)

    7 days? Really? WTF United States!?!?!?

    Every year Expedia.com launches an intense Vacation Deprivation survey to gather the facts & the effects of American Vacation Deprivation.

    Check out these stats:

    Notice that despite earning the least amount of annual vacation days, Americans will still leave an average of 3 days unused! This goes to show that so many Americans don’t even use the little vacation time that they get! Not good.

    Why is Vacation So Important?
    Let’s talk about mental health.

    • 34% of Americans say they come back from vacation feeling better about their jobs and are even more productive.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling reconnected with family after vacation.

    It’s no big secret that work can be stressful. Even if you absolutely adore your career, you still have the occasional (or frequent) challenging day. If you refuse to take a breather every now & then, you are putting your mental health and your relationships at risk.

    Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, anxiety, depression, and so on are all symptoms of stress. Stress causes cortisol to build up in your body, the cortisol is then stored as dangerous fat. In addition to all of the physical symptoms of stress, there is the issue of rushing around. When you are rushing nonstop from place to place, it’s easy to stop for fast-food because you don’t make the time to cook nutritious meals for yourself and your family.

    If you look at the rates of obesity around the globe, you probably won’t be shocked to see where the United States fits in.

    That’s right, numero uno. Not a good place to be in this case. Americans are the most obese individuals in the world. A sad fact to note considering that we are also some of the richest people, with some of the most vast & diverse availability to nutritious & wholesome food. (Please watch Food, Inc. for more information on this topic.)

    Turning the Tide
    The facts are straightforward. Constant rushing & vacation deprivation will cause you harm. Here are 3 super simple ways that you can combat these harmful habits.

    1. Practice efficient time management. Keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself, no exceptions. We all have a ton of stuff that we want to get done, but we have to prioritize. Choose the tasks that mean the most to you and will provide you with the best ROI (return on investment). Don’t commit to anything that doesn’t benefit you, your career, your family, or your friends in a big way. Your time is precious and you should treat it as such.

    2. Use your vacation time, all of it. No matter how many days that your company allots for vacation, make sure and use it. If your company tends to be on the real stingy side with vacation, don’t be afraid to set a confidential meeting with your HR director to point out the importance of sufficient vacation time. Sufficient vacation time is mutually beneficial — you will feel better and thereby, your performance will improve. Win – Win!

    Likewise, if you work for yourself, make sure to pencil in enough time for R & R.

    3. Breathe. When you are rushing, you are most likely breathing shallow. Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rate & conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. Take time to observe your breathing throughout the day. If you find yourself shallow breathing, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest & deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

    * — * — * — * — *

    Slow down, be in the now.

8 Comments

  1. thank you so much for this post! incredible read. totally can relate and overall i love your personal blog. i hope i can get mine up to par some day. but i just started it. you should help me out and give me some pointers. aha.

  2. @diddling – I've checked out your blog and I am intrigued. It looks like you are off to a great start! I'd be happy to help, let me know if you have questions. Are you on Twitter? If yes, add me @denabotbyl

    Thanks so much for the positive feedback!

  3. Thanks a lot for the mention Dena!

    I agree, The 4 Agreements is an incredible book and I would recommend anybody to read it. It also had a profound effect on me and is in my faves of all time.

  4. @Tim – Thank you, Tim. I am very impressed with HTBR&H, hope to post the full review sometime next week. Happy New Year!

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