“I just can’t take it anymore.”
“Things are never going to change.”
“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”
“I give up.”
“I am tired, worn down, weak.”
“I just want this to be over.”
“I would be better off dead.”
Do any of those beliefs sound familiar? Have you ever felt that way? Do you feel that way right now?
Life is not always easy. In fact, some days it seems impossible. Many people are not even living their lives, they are simply surviving. Many people would love to be happy, but they just don’t know how.
“We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die.” —Don Miguel Ruiz
The reality of life is that suffering is not necessary. The truth is that we can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die. The key to reaching heaven is to create happiness all around you. It starts by making simple choices and changing your beliefs.
First, you must choose to stop suffering.
“Suffering makes you feel safe because you know it so well. But there really is no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason you will not find. The same is true for happiness. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.” —Don Miguel Ruiz
We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. Think about that. Read that sentence to yourself a few times. We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. If you are regularly having thoughts like the ones mentioned at the top of this post — “I can’t take it anymore; Things are never going to change; I give up” — what direction do you think you are moving in? If those thoughts are running through your head, then you are moving in a negative direction. You are suffering and you will continue to suffer.
In order to choose to stop suffering, you must choose to stop having thoughts about suffering. Remember that you are in control of your mind. You choose what thoughts get to pass there. Even as the negative thoughts pop up, you have the ability to crush them out. If you practice banishing the automatic negative thoughts, with time, they will appear in your mind less and less.
You must align your thoughts and your emotions. You must feel today how you wish to feel tomorrow. For example, imagine that you want to lose weight but you are struggling. The automatic thoughts that come into your mind are: “I am trying so hard but I have seen no results.” “I will never be able to lose this weight.” “I feel fat, ugly, and disgusting.”
Remember that you will always move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts, so where do you think that those thoughts will take you? Not any place good! Those thoughts are self-defeating. You must get rid of those thoughts and replace them with positive ones — feel today how you want to feel tomorrow. “I am strong and confident.” “I focus all of my energy on creating a healthy mind & body.” “I am beautiful.” If those are your dominant thoughts, they will take you straight to success.
You will be confident and you will reach your goals. You will work hard and you will not give up.
Then, you must recognize that beliefs are not facts.
“I just can’t take it anymore.”
“Things are never going to change.”
“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”
Do you know what each of those thoughts has in common? They are all beliefs and not only are they beliefs, they are also negative, irrational beliefs. For some reason, we tend to believe that just because we think something that it is automatically a fact. That is completely wrong and destructive.
If you take the time to analyze all of the thoughts that run through your head, even for five minutes, you will find that at least 90% of those thoughts are beliefs and not facts. You are constantly interpreting and judging the world around you, the people around you, and yourself. Therein lies the problem. You are making judgments and those judgments are beliefs.
When you believe something, you assume you are right to the point that you will destroy yourself in order to defend your position. Let’s look at the weight loss example again. If you believe that you are not capable of losing weight, you can defend that position until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Eventually you will become incapable of losing weight because of your own self-destructive thoughts.
However, if you recognize that your thought, “I can’t lost the weight” is only a belief (a false belief!) you can eliminate that thought and replace it with the truth. “I am strong. I am capable. I will lose this weight.”
“In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.” —Don Miguel Ruiz
Did you know that? It is absolutely true. There is no person in this world that is capable of hurting and damaging you in the way that you hurt and damage yourself. You are your own worst critic — but today I want you to become your own biggest fan. “I am strong. I am capable. I can do anything that I want to.” You need to tell yourself those things because they are true! The negative thoughts are false beliefs, but the positive truths are facts. You are capable, you are strong, you can do anything. There is no dream too great. In the history of the human race, people have come up against incredible odds and managed to achieve “unbelievable” things. There is no reason why you can not achieve the goals that you set for yourself. The first step is to believe that you can do it.
If you are capable of choosing happiness over suffering; if you are capable of accepting that your beliefs are not facts; you are also capable of experiencing heaven while you are here on Earth. There are beautiful things surrounding you all of the time. No matter who you are or where you are, there are pieces of heaven surrounding you always.
“In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.” —Aaron Rose
Life is truly what you make of it.
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” —John Milton
If you have the tools and the desire to create your own personal heaven, you can can do it. You can live your life surrounded by love, peace, and success. Start right now!
A couple of recommendations…
All of the quotes above by Don Miguel Ruiz come from his book, The Four Agreements. The book transformed my life and it can transform yours. I highly recommend it and you can check out some more information about the book my clicking the Amazon Widget on the right side of this page.
If you are interested in learning more about how to tell the difference between beliefs & facts in order to live a life of happiness, I also recommend checking out the e-book, How to Be Rich and Happy.
Comments (8)
diddlingdogs
December 22, 2009 at 7:33 pm
thank you so much for this post! incredible read. totally can relate and overall i love your personal blog. i hope i can get mine up to par some day. but i just started it. you should help me out and give me some pointers. aha.
Dena
December 22, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@diddling – I've checked out your blog and I am intrigued. It looks like you are off to a great start! I'd be happy to help, let me know if you have questions. Are you on Twitter? If yes, add me @denabotbyl
Thanks so much for the positive feedback!
jonberry
December 23, 2009 at 12:16 am
Excellent post. It is very insightful.
Dena
December 23, 2009 at 9:54 am
@Jonberry – Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed the post, thanks for the Tweet too. 🙂
Tim Brownson
December 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Thanks a lot for the mention Dena!
I agree, The 4 Agreements is an incredible book and I would recommend anybody to read it. It also had a profound effect on me and is in my faves of all time.
Dena
December 31, 2009 at 10:50 am
@Tim – Thank you, Tim. I am very impressed with HTBR&H, hope to post the full review sometime next week. Happy New Year!
The Best of evolution you : evolution you
May 3, 2010 at 10:16 pm
[…] Happiness & Depression Do Not Seek Happiness, Live It Emotional Pain in Conquerable Spiritual Wealth Equals Physical Health Conscious Living Beat Depression, Live Happiness Heaven is a Place on Earth: How to End Your Personal Suffering […]
Dena Botbyl
June 19, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Heaven is a Place on Earth: How to End Your Personal Suffering http://bit.ly/d89pSB