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Heaven is a Place on Earth: How to End Your Personal Suffering

“I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Things are never going to change.”

“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”

“I give up.”

“I am tired, worn down, weak.”

“I just want this to be over.”

“I would be better off dead.”

Do any of those beliefs sound familiar? Have you ever felt that way? Do you feel that way right now?

Life is not always easy. In fact, some days it seems impossible. Many people are not even living their lives, they are simply surviving. Many people would love to be happy, but they just don’t know how.

“We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

The reality of life is that suffering is not necessary. The truth is that we can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die. The key to reaching heaven is to create happiness all around you. It starts by making simple choices and changing your beliefs.

First, you must choose to stop suffering.

“Suffering makes you feel safe because you know it so well. But there really is no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason you will not find. The same is true for happiness. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. Think about that. Read that sentence to yourself a few times. We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. If you are regularly having thoughts like the ones mentioned at the top of this post — “I can’t take it anymore; Things are never going to change; I give up” — what direction do you think you are moving in? If those thoughts are running through your head, then you are moving in a negative direction. You are suffering and you will continue to suffer.

In order to choose to stop suffering, you must choose to stop having thoughts about suffering. Remember that you are in control of your mind. You choose what thoughts get to pass there. Even as the negative thoughts pop up, you have the ability to crush them out. If you practice banishing the automatic negative thoughts, with time, they will appear in your mind less and less.

You must align your thoughts and your emotions. You must feel today how you wish to feel tomorrow. For example, imagine that you want to lose weight but you are struggling. The automatic thoughts that come into your mind are: “I am trying so hard but I have seen no results.” “I will never be able to lose this weight.” “I feel fat, ugly, and disgusting.”

Remember that you will always move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts, so where do you think that those thoughts will take you? Not any place good! Those thoughts are self-defeating. You must get rid of those thoughts and replace them with positive ones — feel today how you want to feel tomorrow. “I am strong and confident.” “I focus all of my energy on creating a healthy mind & body.” “I am beautiful.” If those are your dominant thoughts, they will take you straight to success.

You will be confident and you will reach your goals. You will work hard and you will not give up.

Then, you must recognize that beliefs are not facts.

“I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Things are never going to change.”

“There is nothing that I can do to make this better.”

Do you know what each of those thoughts has in common? They are all beliefs and not only are they beliefs, they are also negative, irrational beliefs. For some reason, we tend to believe that just because we think something that it is automatically a fact. That is completely wrong and destructive.

If you take the time to analyze all of the thoughts that run through your head, even for five minutes, you will find that at least 90% of those thoughts are beliefs and not facts. You are constantly interpreting and judging the world around you, the people around you, and yourself. Therein lies the problem. You are making judgments and those judgments are beliefs.

When you believe something, you assume you are right to the point that you will destroy yourself in order to defend your position. Let’s look at the weight loss example again. If you believe that you are not capable of losing weight, you can defend that position until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Eventually you will become incapable of losing weight because of your own self-destructive thoughts.

However, if you recognize that your thought, “I can’t lost the weight” is only a belief (a false belief!) you can eliminate that thought and replace it with the truth. “I am strong. I am capable. I will lose this weight.”

“In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.” —Don Miguel Ruiz

Did you know that? It is absolutely true. There is no person in this world that is capable of hurting and damaging you in the way that you hurt and damage yourself. You are your own worst critic — but today I want you to become your own biggest fan. “I am strong. I am capable. I can do anything that I want to.” You need to tell yourself those things because they are true! The negative thoughts are false beliefs, but the positive truths are facts. You are capable, you are strong, you can do anything. There is no dream too great. In the history of the human race, people have come up against incredible odds and managed to achieve “unbelievable” things. There is no reason why you can not achieve the goals that you set for yourself. The first step is to believe that you can do it.

~~~

If you are capable of choosing happiness over suffering; if you are capable of accepting that your beliefs are not facts; you are also capable of experiencing heaven while you are here on Earth. There are beautiful things surrounding you all of the time. No matter who you are or where you are, there are pieces of heaven surrounding you always.

“In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.” —Aaron Rose

Life is truly what you make of it.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” —John Milton

If you have the tools and the desire to create your own personal heaven, you can can do it. You can live your life surrounded by love, peace, and success. Start right now!

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A couple of recommendations…

All of the quotes above by Don Miguel Ruiz come from his book, The Four Agreements. The book transformed my life and it can transform yours. I highly recommend it and you can check out some more information about the book my clicking the Amazon Widget on the right side of this page.

If you are interested in learning more about how to tell the difference between beliefs & facts in order to live a life of happiness, I also recommend checking out the e-book, How to Be Rich and Happy.

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  • · · · ·

    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

8 Comments

  1. thank you so much for this post! incredible read. totally can relate and overall i love your personal blog. i hope i can get mine up to par some day. but i just started it. you should help me out and give me some pointers. aha.

  2. @diddling – I've checked out your blog and I am intrigued. It looks like you are off to a great start! I'd be happy to help, let me know if you have questions. Are you on Twitter? If yes, add me @denabotbyl

    Thanks so much for the positive feedback!

  3. Thanks a lot for the mention Dena!

    I agree, The 4 Agreements is an incredible book and I would recommend anybody to read it. It also had a profound effect on me and is in my faves of all time.

  4. @Tim – Thank you, Tim. I am very impressed with HTBR&H, hope to post the full review sometime next week. Happy New Year!

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