Marina Grace in the Garden

“The question is not, — how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education — but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?” –Charlotte Mason

For awhile, anxiety over the upcoming school year was crushing me. I was heartbroken and worried. Only recently, the last few days really, have I made peace with what’s to come. I feel a sudden lightness, a knowing, a certainty that everything will be okay.

Roman’s first year of school, kindergarten, was magical. He had a teacher who was seemingly cut straight out of a storybook. I was the class mother for his class, and he spent the year learning, making new friends, having parties and going on the most wonderful field trip to the apple orchard.

I wanted all of these things for Marina, of course. In my heart of hearts, I wanted so much for her to know that same magic. When I let fear take over me, I railed against the possibility that her experience should be any different, any less. I suppose that now I am remembering just how magical different can be in its own right. Sure, this year will look different in many regards but there is opportunity for new magic inside the cracks left behind after change.

At the very least, my children will be home much more than they ever have been during any school year and this leaves us all of the room for exploring together, learning together, playing together, growing together.

These days are reminding me to practice acceptance over resistance, to rest in the remembering in how so often the most wondrous magic lays hidden in the most unexpected places.