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Overcome Fear of Flying: Acceptance & the Power of Now

Die to the past with each moment that passes. If you do this, there will be no suffering in mortal death.

Do not resist your fate. Accept your fate, doing anything else is insanity.

A Sordid History With Travel

Travel has never been a pleasant thing for me. Vacations and exploring new places have always been divine, but the actual act of “traveling” has always been painful. My mother gets extremely anxious as family trips approach. The morning-of is a nightmare. Unfortunately, I inherited her travel anxieties. On top of that, I’ve always had a terrible fear of flying.

Yet somehow, over the last 4 years, I’ve ended up traveling & flying quite a bit, whether for work or for my frequent desire to explore new places. In this time, something magical has happened, my pre-travel anxiety is gone. I realized this during my last two trips. As I was getting ready to drive to the airport, my heart did not race, there were no familiar knots in my stomach, and I didn’t feel sick or panicked at all. It was amazing.

I attribute the disappearance of my pre-travel anxiety to two things: 1. experience (which makes everything easier) and 2. acceptance (the knowledge that everything will be okay and if it’s not okay, it’s not the end).

One Fear Gives Way to Another

On the other hand, my in-flight anxiety is still alive & well. My body wretches in horror during takeoff & turbulence. Anytime that the plane is not 100% stable, my body & mind revert to sheer panic. My mind is flooded with horrific images of the plane going down. I am completely unable to form coherent, rational thoughts.

Instead, I do three things. I grip my seat handles until my knuckles are snow white. I breathe as deeply as I can to avoid passing out. And I silently repeat familiar phrases over & over again—for example: I love my dog, Bella. I love my cat, Mika. I love my dog, Bella. I love my cat, Mika.

While these coping mechanisms “work” for me, they are unacceptable. I refuse to be driven by fear in life & time spent in a plane should be no different. I should practice acceptance and embrace the power of now whether in a plane or in everyday life. And recently, for the first time in my life, I was able to do this—while flying!

As I write this, I’m 30,000 feet in the air on a prop plane, home bound from Columbus, Ohio to Newark, New Jersey. I experienced my first true moment of “acceptance in the air” a couple of days ago on my outbound flight.

Takeoff was fairly smooth, but we hit some turbulence later in the flight. I started to plummet into my usual throes of panic. Then suddenly, I could hear the voice of the great sage, Eckart Tolle, in my mind. Die to the past with each moment that passes. If you do this, there will be no suffering in mortal death.

My mind was flooded with clarity. I knew that I had to let go of everything—my fear, my past, and my future.

The music in my ears from my ipod became the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

The light-infused clouds sparkling in front of the sunset became the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

That moment was the most beautiful moment I had ever known.

There was nothing truly profound about it. The song was a song I had heard hundreds of times before. The sunset, while pretty, was a scene I had viewed thousands of times before. But what made that moment so incredibly beautiful—the most beautiful I had ever known—was the fact that it was the present moment, the now.

Finally, it all made sense. There was no fear, no past, and no future. I realized that every single moment has that power—the power to be the most beautiful moment of my life. With that great knowledge there was no fear in my heart, especially not of death. How could I be afraid to die during the most beautiful moment of my life?

When you accept the incredible beauty & power of the present moment, your entire being is filled with the Peace of God. It is a feeling of true joy, not false man-made, shallow joy; but a far-reaching, everlasting peace. The Peace of God is the realization that divinity is within you. Understanding the true nature of the present moment is commandment of the Universe. It is the sudden realization that you possess divine power.

On the Path

It is amazing and overwhelming, isn’t it? However, I have a confession. Even after experiencing this divine state of acceptance, I still experienced moments of paralyzing fear during that flight and again, during this flight.

This begs the question: If I am so enlightened, then why am I still afraid? Why do I experience peace during some moments of turbulence, but blinding fear during others?

The answer is simple: I have not yet learned to harness the power of the present moment completely. I have only seen a glimpse of it. It will take practice to harness the power completely and to be able to control it at will.

It is a lot like meditation. When one first starts to meditate, she only gets glimpses of complete inner silence. As she continues to practice meditation and deepens her skill, eventually she will experience extended periods of complete inner silence and peace. With years of practice, she can call upon the tranquility of deep meditation at anytime.

With much practice and dedication, I will sharpen my ability. The great sages of this world have learned to live in this state of inner silence & peace nearly 100% of the time.

Risk Your Life, Embrace the Now

The power of now is not simply a tool to be called upon during bumpy flights. This power can be used in any scenario that causes anxiety—from social situations, to phobias, and so on. We should strive to experience this power in everyday life as much as possible.

As human beings we spend a great deal of time resisting & regretting our fates. This is insane. That is not a judgment, it is a fact.

A close friend of mine is terrified of flying. When I expressed the fact that I was taking a weekend trip to Ohio for a wedding party, my friend asked me, “Why would you risk your life getting on a plane just for a wedding party?”

I responded that I risk my life every single morning when I get in the car for my morning commute. In fact, I risk my life every single moment of the day. We all do. If you want to remain completely safe then you might consider investing in a good bubble suit or a padded room. There are all sorts of “risks” out there—car accidents, heart attacks, stray lightning bolts, killer bees, and so on.

Despite those things you won’t catch me in a bubble suit anytime soon 😉

My flight is about to land. Time to shut my laptop.

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

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    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

4 Comments

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Tips to Overcome a Fear of Flying: Acceptance & the Power of Now -- Topsy.com

  2. I sent this wonderful post to my husband who used to be terrified of flying and now has overcome his fear to such a point that he asked to be a guest blogger at his wife’s blog to write about it. 😉 I see that you have beaten him to the punch!!!

    Reply

    1. @ Farnoosh – Wow! I am so happy to hear that your husband overcame he is fear of flying, too. Well, I suppose I have not completely “overcome” mine yet — but I am definitely heading in the right direction.

      If your husband does end up sharing his story, I would love to read it!

      Have a beautiful day.

      -D.

      Reply
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