Review: The Gifts of Imperfection

The Gifts of ImperfectionImagine letting go of who you’re “supposed” to be and embracing who you truly are.  Imagine living a wholehearted life.  How would it feel?  What would it look like?  Who would you be?

These are the concepts and questions that Dr. Brené Brown discusses in her latest book, The Gifts of Imperfection.  She explores the greatest barriers to true living and shows us how to move through them to cultivate resilience.  The book is full of personal stories, motivational quotes, and ideas for making deliberate, inspired choices about the way we live.

The Gifts of Imperfection is divided into ten chapters—or guideposts—that lead us to let go of what people think; to cultivate gratitude; to let go of exhaustion & anxiety; and to cultivate happiness.

A reoccurring theme (and one of my favorite aspects) throughout the book is what Brené calls, digging deep and using the “dig-deep button”.

You know the dig-deep button, right? It’s the button that you rely on when you’re too bone-tired to get up one more time in the middle of the night or to do one more load of throw-up-diarrhea laundry or to catch one more plane or to return one more call or to please/perform/perfect the way you normally do even when you just want to flip someone off and hide under the covers.

I loved reading about the dig-deep button, because yes I know that button, and yes, I want to break it! In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené teaches us that we don’t have to break the button, but rather we should dig deep in a wholehearted way. Instead of trying to push through, soldier on, and suck it up—we should slow down, act deliberately, be inspired, and take action. Such beautiful advice!

Dr. Brown leaves readers with a feeling of hope. At the end of the day, no matter what gets done, we are enough. Yes, we are imperfect and vulnerable… but that doesn’t change the truth that each of us is worthy of love and belonging. It is a powerful, inspiring—but most importantly—a true message. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is ready to embrace her true self and all of her beautiful imperfections.

Note to readers: Because I was given a free, advanced copy of this book to review, I am giving it away to one of my lovely readers! Simply leave a comment telling me about a beautiful imperfection in yourself or in a loved one. I will select one commenter at random to receive my copy.

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  • Carousel — 03.05.10

    Oh, why hello my gorgeous readers! It is so wonderful to see you here on this beautiful Friday afternoon (or whatever day/time it is where you are). This week came in like a lion and is heading out like a lamb… typical March weather in the North Eastern US. Last week received over three feet of fluffy white stuff (snow!). Currently the temperature is on the rise and it’s beginning to melt. Is this a sign that Spring is on its way? I sure hope so!

    And now on to this week’s charming Carousel. I do hope you enjoy…

    1. Quick easy tips for travel health and Living in the now: Two awesome posts from Vagablogging this week. One contains common sense tips to keep you healthy while on the road and the other talks about the importance of fleeting moments in time. Lovely.

    2. This is So Inappropriate!: “Your choices always carry tremendous weight, even when you feel like you have no choice in the matter. We don’t need enormous reserves of skill or advantage to make big differences to what happens to us — and to the manner in which we ‘happen’ to the world.”

    3. The Sure Fire Way to Sabotage Any Relationship: In this post, Jared explains why trying to “get back to the way things were” is like signing your relationship’s death certificate. Do you agree?

    4. 5 Travel Lessons You Can Use at Home: This post is far & away, one of the best that I’ve read on the topic. Can you take travel lessons and apply them to your life? Can you use these lessons to live the life of your dreams 100% of the time? Yes, you can! This post will tell you how.

    5. Avatar’s Impact: How To Train Like A Na’vi: Have you seen Avatar yet? I saw it once in 2D and then again in 3D—yes, it was that good! I love Amber’s take on the movie in this excellent post. “While the special effects and imagination behind the film are awe inspiring enough, what excited me the most was the vital ecological message that’s reaching millions. The fact that people from around the globe are beginning to see the significance of our connection to all organisms is incredible.” Yes, yes, yes! Exactly. She’s hit the nail on the head.

    6. What Are Values?: Many people pay Tim Brownson good money to help them define values; but in this post, he’ll show you how to do it for free! I absolutely love (& agree with) the way that he introduces the post: “So what I’m really saying is this is some heavy personal development shit that needs your total concentration and commitment if you’re going to get the most out of it. And make no mistake, it’s the single most powerful thing you can do if you genuinely want to understand yourself.”

    7. how to: focus in batches: “Limited resources force you to focus on your creativity.”

    8. Coping with Major Life Changes: Excellent tips to help get you through some of life’s most challenging moments.

    9. The War Over Wolves: One topic that I haven’t written too much about yet is wildlife & environmental conservation. It is one of the things that I am most passionate about. This post from the National Geographic Blog broke my heart a bit. Despite my inclination to preserve as many creatures as humanly possible, there are always two sides to every story. I’ll be making some posts on this topic in the near future.

    10. Olympians’ daily food choices as important as their rigorous training: Want to learn to eat like an Olympian? Is the food that you put in your body really that important? After reading this, I say YES!

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    That is it for this week’s round up. I loved all of these great posts and I hope that you will, too. Perhaps just the burst of inspiration you were needing to get your weekend off to a great start?

    Have a lovely weekend. Spread love & light!

  • Carousel — 04.09.10

    Hello Dear Readers & happy Friday! It’s been a bit quiet around here this week because I am preparing for vacation. Yahoo! I leave tomorrow morning and will be returning late next week. You will see a couple of guest posts during that time (if I can properly set that up in WordPress) and a guest post from me will be posted over at a friend’s blog. So keep your eyes open for those things, but my apologies in advance as I will not be replying to comments or emails because…

    I plan to be completely disconnected during my trip. That means no Blackberry, Twitter, Facebook, Web, Foursquare, and so on. I need a break from “virtual reality”, my friends. 😉 In fact, we all do from time to time!

    That said, let’s move on to this week’s Carousel. I’ve got some very sweet goodies to share with you this week.

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    Every Friday, I post my favourite links, posts, & resources from around the Web. Expect to learn, grow, & be inspired.

    1. Coming across hurting people: Every now & again, I come across a piece that touches me in a deep, profound way. Usually the piece is not too long, but it is always powerful and tugs at my heart strings in a soft, yet poignant way.

    This blog post is one of those pieces. If you read nothing else from this week’s Carousel, read this.

    2. Eco-Bootcamp: The sustainable, savvy heroines over at Your Daily Thread have kicked off a month long going green boot camp in honor of the 40th anniversary of Earth Day on April 22nd. Their goal is to turn Eco-zeros, to Eco-heroes even if you’ve never recycled before.

    3. Soda: A Sin We Sip Instead of Smoke? and Junk food ‘as addictive as heroin and smoking’: I am extremely passionate about healthy living & lifestyles. My passion has been really intense lately as I become increasingly aware of the disturbing truths about modern “food”.

    I view the recent elimination of sugary beverages (soda) from school systems as a huge triumph. I look forward to the continuation of this important trend. Education and awareness is crucial.

    4. create luck, embrace chance & tune in to your serendipity: What is it about lucky people? Have they all got horseshoes tucked into their backsides? 🙂 Amber doesn’t think so & neither do I.

    5. 7 Sources of Deep Clutter: Some great advice about how to eliminate the “shoulds, have-tos, and people-pleasing” bad habits that are cluttering your life & soul.

    (And as a side note, the Good Life Zen blog is really fantastic. Each post is insightful, inspirational, and well-written.)

    6. Remaining Calm in Stressful Situations: I like this post because it teaches us something that we can all benefit from (remaining calm) but I love it because it reminds us of something even more important — that mental/emotional stress does cause physical illness.

    7. 40 Belief-Shaking Remarks From a Ruthless Nonconformist: Ah, yes! We can always count on Friedrich Nietzsche to obliterate the complacent, feel-good beliefs that we hold about ourselves. This collection of quotes will stir your pot and get your wheels spinning.

    8. The Top 10 Online Habits That Make My Life Simpler: If you’re like me—meaning you spend several hours a day online—then you know that the Web can be the biggest time-vacuum known to man (if you let it). This post lists lots of simple yet effective ways that will help you make the most of your precious time spent online.

    9. Why You Should Be More Decisive: Truth: I am an extremely indecisive woman by nature. Those closest to me will tell you this.

    I have trouble deciding upon the simplest of things—which restaurant to visit, which shirt to wear, which road to take, whether or not to put salt on my food, which movie to watch, and so on. Well, a couple of years ago I found an ingenious method for dealing with this problem: I started flipping a coin! Yes, that’s my secret.

    While the coin-flipping model has worked well for me, I still really enjoyed this post. It teaches us why some people have so much trouble being decisive in today’s world and why it is really important that we become more decisive overall. Perhaps I should stop relying so heavily on the coin and start aiming to be more decisive myself…

    10. How To Fund Your Travels With Creativity: I have several friends who are currently living outside of the United States, seeing the world, gaining incredible life experience, and living the lives of their dreams. If you want to know how 95% of them are doing it, read this post. It will tell you exactly what they’re doing and how you can do it too.

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    That’s it for this week. I’ll see you all on the other side.

    In love & light,
    Dena

25 Comments

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  6. This sounds like a good book. It is so important to embrace who we really are and live our dreams.

    Although I might change the title to “The gifts of Perfection”, because we are all perfect beings, just remembering how to get back to our true selves. One of my perfections I am always working through is fear. I love the lessons my fears teach me, and it always feels so good to melt them away.

    1. @Stacy – “We are all perfect beings.” Such a beautiful thought.

      Yes! Fear is an incredibly beautiful perfection/imperfection (whichever way you look at it). It is only through fear & overcoming fear that we grow, learn, live, & love. Thank you so much for sharing.

  7. Dena, I have so many imperfections that it is hard to pick just one. 🙂 But, here goes.

    My most beautiful imperfection is that I am a font of ideas. I have many inspiring ideas every day and have been afflicted with this malady for years. Until recently, I never knew how to do anything about these ideas. I’d have one and then be off on another one before I did anything about the first one. Typical right-brainer, I guess.

    I’m learning that by slowing down and focusing I can still have ideas yet execute several things each day; that making meaningful progress toward completing one of my ideas can be just as creative and fulfilling; and that the font steps up to feed that main idea if I let it.

    1. @Andra – Wow! I absolutely love this beautiful imperfection of yours. In fact, it’s not just beautiful, it’s gorgeous! ( And that’s not just because it is one of my own! 😉 ) I know exactly what you mean! I, too, find myself sometimes overwhelmed with the magnificent outpouring of “ideas” from my heart & mind. The challenge is truly to funnel that energy & creativity in a wise way, set measurable goals, and then check things off the list–before moving onto the next.

      It sounds like you’ve got the hang of it. Thank you so much for sharing!

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    1. @Teri – So glad that you enjoyed the post. Not sure who you are referring to as imperfect–the reader (you) or the writer (me). I think you are right either way! 😉 Thanks much for stopping by. Have a great evening.

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  10. Hello Dena,

    I’ve just discovered your blog and it is awesome. I look forward to reading more. I am totally with you on the “stop making excuses” philosophy and I look forward to learning from your experiences.

    Thanks!

    1. @Keith – I am so glad that you found me! Yes, as you can tell from my recent posts I’m all about stopping the excuses lately. It is such a critical component of our journey toward true happiness & creating the lives of our dreams. Hope you’ll stick around.

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  12. @Julie – All I can say is one ENORMOUS awww!! I love Byrd so much (& I haven’t even met her!) Just thinking of her little, sweet self makes me want to squee with delight.

    If there ever were a perfect teeny imperfect dog, it would be Byrd. We are so blessed to have such loving fur balls in our lives.

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  15. I’ll write not about an imperfection of mine but of seeing imperfections in others. People tend to concentrate on the imperfections in others, preventing them to see and how truly beautiful a person really is. Looking at someone’s faults could block you from getting to know an otherwise true, wise and inspiring person. I speak of a wise man very close to me who struggles every day with a great vice and burden…His imperfection is judged strongly by many—giving this loving, caring and beuatiful man no chance to show them who he really is, despite his flaw. Seeing imperfections in others can be a great loss to ones self.

    1. @Cindy – This is such an incredible story & such a beautiful perspective. You are truly a gifted person with one of the brightest spirits I have ever seen. You are absolutely right–it is so important that we look beyond other people’s imperfections because it is only then, that we can really know a person.

      We are all flawed–that’s what makes us human. Often times, it is our flaws & our imperfections that make us special, unique, and wonderful.

      Thank you for sharing this story with us. You always put a smile on my face with your loving insights. XO

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