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A life you’re proud of…

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. —from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I know that I’ve shared that quote a million times already, but it’s so important to me. I’ve been reading it daily, sometimes multiple times a day, for weeks now. There are big and difficult things happening in my life, things that I don’t always have the heart to write about, but that quote sums it up pretty well. It’s why I’ve always done what I’ve always done and why I’ll always do what I’ll always do.

February is slowly (oh-so-slowly) rolling to a close and I’ve decided to take inventory. I started twenty-fourteen off on the right foot eliminating negativity/toxicity and focusing inward. However, what I’ve learned about goals is how quickly we tend to forget about them. Not surprisingly, I’ve been slipping a bit myself. The energy around the start of the year is invigorating, but it quickly fizzles. It’s important that we re-evaluate and re-focus regularly.

Lately: I am taking more risks professionally. I am attending poetry circle at my local library. I’ve started reading again (actual books, not just blogs!). It feels as though I am coming out of a cocoon and it’s not just because winter will end soon. I was wrapped up in pregnancy, then postpartum, then other problems. For a long time, I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I am slowly finding my way back to myself and learning how to be me and be a mother, which is harder than I’d anticipated.

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

Forgive me if I sound like a broken record lately. One of the reasons that I am so stuck on the Benjamin Button quote is because it is the advice that I will one day give my son. If I can teach him to live by that piece of advice, then I believe that I will have taught him everything that he’ll ever need to know. The problem, however, is that I — myself — am not living by that advice, not completely. I do not want to be a parent who says, “Do as I say, not as I do.” That’s why it is so important to me to get where I need to be and to live as an example to him.

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

All of this and so much more—
xo

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

22 Comments

  1. Wow!! I have never seen this movie, I have also never heard or read this quote anywhere else before. Thank you for sharing it. It reminds me of a song that always hits home for me “But you know that when the truth is told
    That you can get what you want
    Or you can just get old
    You’re gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (Oooh)
    When will you realize… Vienna waits for you?” Vienna by Billy Joel, perhaps you know it, if not take a listen. I hope you get through whatever it is, and come out stronger on the other side.

  2. I love that quote as well. Every time we talk/visit, I see you grow so much — your beautiful wedding, Roman, wood burning stove, house of leaves turning into everything you dreamed and more. You have always had a gift with words and perhaps instead of being an English teacher for the masses, you will be the best teacher R could ask for. I am glad that you are reading and writing again; I am so impressed to hear about your life and how you process and face your challenges. Dena, you are an inspiration and I hope you are proud if where you are & where you’re going. All of that is because of where you have been— the places you will revisit AND those that you hope not to.

  3. How handsome is he! its a great quote- and something I talk about with my daughter is having the best life and your such a great mommy for instilling such great little pearls of wisdoms (or maybe big pearls of wisdom hehe) 🙂

  4. I sometimes think we are too hard on ourselves and we should just let it be OK to constantly change and reinvent ourselves. Like the cells in our body, we are not the same person we were a year ago, a week ago or even a day ago.

    And goodness, this mom business IS hard! But, I’m up for the challenge>: )

  5. This is perfect and much needed. I think I may love that quote forever, in fact. Its so hard some days to remember all these goals and things we try so hard for, they are much easier to keep in mind on the good days for sure. Hopefully March brings more ‘good’ days and easy days for all of us! And of course, your photos are beautiful. xoxo

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