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Replace Fear with Curiosity

The only constant in life is change.

When it comes to change, we have two choices:

1. Resistance
2. Acceptance

Resistance to change is easier in the short-term. If you resist change, you can stay in your comfort zone where it is soft & warm.

Acceptance of change will reward you in the long-term. If you accept change, you will be challenged. You will be forced to adapt to new surroundings. You will evolve.

As human beings, we are creatures of habit. When we are comfortable we are not likely to shake things up. We accept mediocrity because mediocrity is easier to achieve than greatness. We accept jobs that drain us because a steady paycheck is easier than pursuing our passions. We accept negative relationships because security is easier than loneliness.

But what if we didn’t?

What if we stopped settling for good enough and started working toward amazing?

What if we stopped fearing change and started to embrace it?

Sounds great, but how do we get there?

Two months ago, I left my job after three years. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. I had grown incredibly comfortable there. I got nice raises every year. I got nice bonuses, too. I kept getting promoted. I had great relationships with my colleagues. The volunteers that I supported adored me. On paper, everything was beautiful. Any baby-boomer in his right mind would think me an imbecile for leaving such a sweet setup. But here’s the thing…

I wasn’t happy. I was settling because it was comfortable. And then, when the company made me an enormously generous counter-offer, it made it even harder to walk away; but I did.

I left because, despite the fact that I was afraid, I was also curious. I do not want to be a manager at an association for accountants. I want to be a speaker, a coach, a blogger. I want to inspire people and change lives. I want to travel the world & share my experiences. I want to help preserve the environment. I want to make the world a better place.

Lofty ambitions… I know, but it’s who I am! So I left. I walked out the door.

It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Alan Watts said that the attitude of faith is to let go & become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. And that is what I did, what I am.

By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us.

A friend of mine posted this image on Tumblr today and it’s been tugging away at my heartstrings since I laid eyes on it:

American Prospects, Homer, Alaska, Blind Man in garden
American Prospects, Homer, Alaska, Blind Man in garden

It is a blind man in his garden in Homer, Alaska in June, 1984. There is so much about this photograph that speaks to me. I was one month old when this photograph was taken. The garden is so stunning that it takes my breath away. I think to myself: Look at what this blind man created. Look at his humble pose even as he stands in the middle of a miracle.

Life is bursting with potential. Beauty is there, always, waiting for us to tear it open like a package and share it with the world. If we accept this, if we accept change, if we replace fear of the unknown with curiosity, and have the faith to let go—only then can we create the lives of our dreams.

It is time to let it happen.

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    3 Super Simple Ways to Reduce Stress, Improve Health, & Live Happy

    Want to know how you can cut your stress in half?

    How about if there were two things you could change that would drastically alter your stress levels for the rest of your life?

    Now I bet you really want to know, right?

    What if I told you that doing these simple things will not only decrease your stress levels, but will also make you happier and decrease your risk of heart attack, ulcers, & high blood pressure?

    Ready for this? Four words: Stop Rushing, Take Vacation.

    Yes, that’s it. It’s really quite simple, but the results that you will see if you make these changes will amaze you.

    The Problems
    So why is rushing & a lack of vacation such a huge problem? Well, rushing every now and then wouldn’t really be such a problem. But in today’s society, the reality is that we don’t just rush every now and then. We rush all of the time.

    We are constantly hurrying from one thing to the next, multitasking, with our minds in five different places at once. We browse the Web in multiple Windows. We watch television while surfing the Web. We talk on our house phones while texting on our cell phones/iPhones/Blackberrys. While we’re driving to work, we’re planning our days, who we’ll see at each meeting, and what we’re having for dinner. While we’re eating dinner, we’re checking our email, responding to emails, and thinking about what’s on TV that night. While we’re watching TV that night, we’re thinking about everything we’ve got to do tomorrow. You get the picture…

    The Facts
    The United States is one of (if not the) most stressful, fast-paced, uptight societies in existence. The “American way” of rush, rush, rush has huge negative implications. And sadly, the rest of the world is beginning to follow suit. It’s not a good path to be on.

    Here are some statistics about minimum vacation days around the world:

    Austria — 35 days
    Brazil — 30 days
    Finland — 35 days
    Sweden — 32 days
    Ukraine — 24 days
    United States — 7 days
    (Source: http://nationmaster.com)

    7 days? Really? WTF United States!?!?!?

    Every year Expedia.com launches an intense Vacation Deprivation survey to gather the facts & the effects of American Vacation Deprivation.

    Check out these stats:

    Notice that despite earning the least amount of annual vacation days, Americans will still leave an average of 3 days unused! This goes to show that so many Americans don’t even use the little vacation time that they get! Not good.

    Why is Vacation So Important?
    Let’s talk about mental health.

    • 34% of Americans say they come back from vacation feeling better about their jobs and are even more productive.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling reconnected with family after vacation.

    It’s no big secret that work can be stressful. Even if you absolutely adore your career, you still have the occasional (or frequent) challenging day. If you refuse to take a breather every now & then, you are putting your mental health and your relationships at risk.

    Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, anxiety, depression, and so on are all symptoms of stress. Stress causes cortisol to build up in your body, the cortisol is then stored as dangerous fat. In addition to all of the physical symptoms of stress, there is the issue of rushing around. When you are rushing nonstop from place to place, it’s easy to stop for fast-food because you don’t make the time to cook nutritious meals for yourself and your family.

    If you look at the rates of obesity around the globe, you probably won’t be shocked to see where the United States fits in.

    That’s right, numero uno. Not a good place to be in this case. Americans are the most obese individuals in the world. A sad fact to note considering that we are also some of the richest people, with some of the most vast & diverse availability to nutritious & wholesome food. (Please watch Food, Inc. for more information on this topic.)

    Turning the Tide
    The facts are straightforward. Constant rushing & vacation deprivation will cause you harm. Here are 3 super simple ways that you can combat these harmful habits.

    1. Practice efficient time management. Keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself, no exceptions. We all have a ton of stuff that we want to get done, but we have to prioritize. Choose the tasks that mean the most to you and will provide you with the best ROI (return on investment). Don’t commit to anything that doesn’t benefit you, your career, your family, or your friends in a big way. Your time is precious and you should treat it as such.

    2. Use your vacation time, all of it. No matter how many days that your company allots for vacation, make sure and use it. If your company tends to be on the real stingy side with vacation, don’t be afraid to set a confidential meeting with your HR director to point out the importance of sufficient vacation time. Sufficient vacation time is mutually beneficial — you will feel better and thereby, your performance will improve. Win – Win!

    Likewise, if you work for yourself, make sure to pencil in enough time for R & R.

    3. Breathe. When you are rushing, you are most likely breathing shallow. Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rate & conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. Take time to observe your breathing throughout the day. If you find yourself shallow breathing, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest & deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

    * — * — * — * — *

    Slow down, be in the now.

14 Comments

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  3. What a wonderful post Dena. I clicked on your comment on my friend Chris Guillebeau’s site and just loved your refreshing honesty in this post.

    Sounds like you’ve taken an amazing leap of faith and congrats to you on choosing the high road.

    Going after what makes you personally happy, fulfilled and free is the greatest leap of faith anyone can take.

    I look forward to watching your journey.

    Natalie

    1. @ Natalie – Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve just spent a minute looking at Womanz World and I love it. I am going to do some more exploration. Thank you for stopping by & let’s stay connected. 🙂

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  6. Great post Dena! I’m so glad you left your job and are doing what you’re curious and excited about now. I did that about 2 years ago and haven’t looked back since. You’re going to do great! Amazing things happen when you’re out of your comfort zone, yet still curious and excited about something!

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  11. Dena,
    I found your old blog site when searching Google for something about Fight Club. I read some old articles you have written and commented on one before I realized that you have a new site. I clicked your redirect link to this site and subscribed to the RSS after reading a couple of your very fascinating articles.
    This entire article has touched me deeply. I find the last two paragraphs have really made an impact. At first glance, I did not know the man in the picture was blind. That picture really does do a number on the heart. Thank you for sharing it.

    1. @ Charlie – Thank you so much for your kind words! I am really glad that you enjoyed the post. I am so grateful that you decided to subscribe! I should have some new, inspiring work up soon. I’m going to check out your blog now. Have a great day! 🙂 –Dena

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