Let Go of Your Ego

August 16, 2011

evolutionyou.net | ego

When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind, beautiful.

Do you know the difference between your true self and your ego? Many people don’t. In fact, they don’t even realize that there is a difference between the two.

Most people identify themselves as simply: me. But this is an enormous mistake—a mistake that is responsible for much unnecessary suffering and emotional pain. It is critical that we acknowledge that our true selves and our egos are separate. More importantly, we must learn to know the difference between the two.

What is the ego?
The ego is many things, but mainly, it is the thing that holds you back. It is the thing that keeps you up at night with worry. It is the small voice in your head that is constantly cutting you down and telling you that you are not enough—not smart enough, not thin enough, not strong enough, not pretty enough, not cool enough, and so on.

When you feel your spirit soaring, the ego rushes in and stops you. Your ego says, You can not do that. You can not be what you dream to be. You can not accomplish the goals that you have set for yourself. You are being crazy. You are being irrational. Your ego tells you to stay where you are, to stay where it is safe and secure.

Does this sound familiar? Do you recognize this ego? Have you heard it in your head? Yes, me too. We all have.

I have heard it said that no one in the world will ever abuse you as much as you will abuse yourself (negative self-talk). But the truth is that no one will abuse as much as your ego will abuse you. To be clear, the ego is not intentionally malicious. It is not deliberately causing you harm. What you must remember about the ego is that it is entirely based in fear and nothing else. Your ego cuts you down because, believe it or not, it is trying to protect you. In its fear, the ego believes that cutting you down will prevent you from failure, humiliation, pain, and suffering. Because if you do not live, dream, take risks, and explore—then you can not get hurt. You can stay safe in your cocoon forever and your ego will be quite happy there with you. But…

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. —Anais Nin

Your True Self
There is a counter force to the ego. It allows you to overcome all of the ego’s fear, anxiety, worry, and scare tactics. It is your True Self. Maybe you have caught glimpses of it?

Perhaps one day you were floating in the ocean, warm sun at your face. As you lie there peacefully, all fear, worry, and anxiety left your spirit and you felt an exquisite calm. Perhaps it was while you were riding a bike. You were speeding down the roadway, cool wind in your face, and you felt, This is it. This is my peace, calm, happiness. Perhaps it was in the gym and you were pounding down on the treadmill, sweat pouring from your face, knowing that you were doing it, becoming that beautiful form that’s always been inside of you. Or maybe, like me, you were on a stage, speaking to a group of people, a hundred faces looking up at you, and you were giving them your message of hope.

You have had one of these moments. They are different for all people, but they are the same in that—for a brief moment—we catch a glimpse of our true selves and our egos are completely gone. In that moment, there is no fear, no worry—there is only you: infinite, kind, beautiful you.

Know the Difference, Embrace Your True Self
All suffering is ego-created and caused by resistance. Your ego is a part of you, you can never be rid of it entirely; but you can learn to recognize and overcome it. The key is to carefully monitor your thoughts. You must remain aware. Happiness is slowing down and listening to the conversations inside your head. When you hear your ego come out and start to cut you down, address it immediately. I know you’re trying to protect me from a future pain that you think is coming. I love and appreciate your desire to protect me, but there is no need. I will not dwell in fear.

If you can remember to do this, your true self will prevail over your ego every time.

In addition to recognizing and overcoming your ego, you must also embrace your true self. Seek out those moments that allow your true self to shine through. Create more of those moments for yourself. When you feel that sense of calm, exquisite, infinite peace in your soul—harness it. Capture that feeling and call upon it often. Stop living in the painful shadows of your ego. Allow your true self to begin guiding your life.

In love & light,


  • Meg

    I think my ego gets in the way when I am talking or practicing something I am passionate about. I used to do it a lot in yoga. I wanted to be able to do all the hard poses and inversions and I was letting my ego get in the way of my actual practice. I learned to overcome this. I know my ego still exists in a lot of things that I do, the challenge is recognizing it for sure. Thanks Dena!

    • Dena

      Your yoga is example is a perfect example of ego getting in the way. It’s been entirely too long since I’ve taken a class but I can remember my ego being a major hurdle there, too. Then sometimes, my ego would suddenly slip away, and it was the most incredible feeling imaginable. I was there with my true self radiating. Thank you for being here, Meg. <3

  • andra watkins

    I am living both parts of this right now. It isn’t easy to let go, but it is worth it. xo

  • Meg

    Hello. Thank you so much for writting this. I have been reading alot about ego lately and truly trying to let it go. I remember 4 years ago when I was living in a space where ego played a very little party in my life and decisions. It was after leaving an unhealthy relationship, and exploring one of my true passions, aromatherapy. It’s a hard road back, but I think I’m finding my way. Thank you for being one of my stepping stones along the way.

    • Dena

      Hi Meg. Thank you so much for being here. Indeed, it is a hard (hard!) road… but one incredibly worth traveling. Hope you’ll stick around. XO

  • 2pericles

    You are wise, a truly uncommon human being.  As soon as we realize that how we live may not be the best path, we grow.  Then the real adventure and life begin.

  • Roman Matysik

    It was just yesterday I had this unusual feeling, or better to say way of understanding things that produced the feeling. Suddenly, my own reality dissolved and only facts remained. I could see past my choices of the past, I looked around my room and saw all the things I ever bought because my ego wanted to have them, I also looked at people in my life, that my ego clung onto and the connection to them, all that clinging was gone. Right then and there I stopped being realistic and became factual. And everywhere I’ve looked, everything I’ve seen since that moment, I’ve seen with different eyes.

    My friends, strangers, everyone,… I could tell by their appearances, their talks and acts their own  realities which they were trapped in. And then the sudden urge, to make everyone understand…. It was magic.

  • Dominica hotels: Manicou River

    Hello Dena,

    I like that take on the Ego … it’s trying to protect me … I have been trying to get rid of it through all sorts of ways, but never trying to say “thank you for your concern …. but” to it.

    Thanks for this bit … I tried it and felt better … bashing it I always felt that I was bashing me.


  • Richard kilonzo

    Hi Dena,

    My Ego had tried to prevent me from leaving a positive comment. I have just overcome it by giving you a BIG THUMBS UP! Many Thanks and keep up the positive work.

  • Sonya Gray

    Thanks, Dena. This article was just what I needed at this moment. It was a good read and very encouraging.

  • Vij

    Dena, this is an incredible article.
    This is something which every human being go through.

    Keep up your good work.

  • juney

    Thank you Dena. I love your article and needed to hear it.

  • Joanna

    It was my privilege to read your article, it gave me a clear idea on what ego is, the difference between it and our true self.Futhermore how to let it go. Thank you so much and keep the spirit. God bless uu. XO

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