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The Key to Happiness: Make Excuses or Make Magic

I want to let you in on an enormous secret.  It’s huge.  It’s life changing.  It’s intense.  It’s a game changer.  It is the secret to happiness.

Are you ready for it?  You sure?  Okay.

Here it comes….

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The key to happiness, is to be happy.

A Story
When I’m not doing epic, world-changing things like motivational speaking, writing, and life coaching; I work in an office.  For eight hours a day—Monday to Thursday—I’m an administrative manager.  I sit at a desk, compose emails, manage social media accounts, plan conferences, and so on.  Sometimes—actually a lot of times—I stuff envelopes.  We’re a small company, only four of us.  That means we all do everything—the big important stuff and the tiny administrative things (like stuffing envelopes).

Last week, I was working on a mailing.  At the particular moment that I’m referencing, I was applying stamps to envelopes—a few hundred of them.  There was nothing truly exceptional about that moment, except for the fact that I was really, really happy.  Every fiber of my being was glowing & I had the biggest smile on my face.

Yup.  Whilst applying hundreds of stamps to envelopes (nearly to the point of developing a blister on my thumb) I was grinning like a fool!

Some Happy Folks
A few months ago I was in Atlantic City for a conference.  The meeting space was located on the top floor of one of the nicest hotels in the city.  I was sitting at the registration desk when along came one of the banquet waiters—to my surprise—singing his heart out!

It didn’t take long for us to strike up conversation.  I was fascinated by this happy banquet waiter.  He was so musical & helpful & interesting.  Born in Ireland, he’s traveled the world, and has lived all over the U.S.  He’s got brothers & sisters spread out from New Zealand to Colorado.  For the past few years he’s called a little suburb outside of Atlantic City his home.  He waits at several casinos in A.C. (sometimes 18-hour shifts!) and he loves it.  He’s always smiling & singing and he’s really, really happy.

Thinking about that banquet waiter reminds me of the UPS and FedEx guys that frequent our office.  These guys are so cool.  We see them at least a few times a week and they’re always smiling & happy.  (Yes, it’s possible to be happy even when you hate your job.)

It also reminds me of the Masai people that I met while traveling in Kenya.  Like the banquet waiter & the postal workers, on the surface, these people didn’t seem to have all that much to be happy about.  In fact they didn’t have much at all.  They lived in huts—literally three plastered walls with straw roofs—some no bigger than my bedroom closet.  Most huts were without possessions.  The furnished ones housed a pot, a straw mat on the dirt floor, and a stone bench.  No running water or electricity anywhere.

But I’ll be darned if these people weren’t the happiest folks I’ve ever met in my life!  Talk about smiling, friendly, and joyous!  I’ve never seen anything like it—the men, the women, the children, the elderly—all happy.  And it wasn’t just one place, it was all over.  Every village that we visited from Kenya to Tanzania was full of smiles & happiness.

Back to the Story
So there I was, placing stamps on envelopes, smiling like a fool.  You may have guessed it by now, but I wasn’t ecstatic about stamping envelopes.  😉 As I sat there that day, I smiled because this really great song came on my iPhone & as the notes floated from the headphones to my ears, it reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for.  I started to count my blessings one by one—past, present, & future.

See, it’s wonderful to travel the world, to be filthy rich, to change lives, to inspire, to have great adventures.  But it’s also really wonderful to work in an office, to be a stay-at-home mommy, to enjoy a cup of tea with a friend, to be alive.  These things are wonderful when we choose to see them that way. Life is about perspective. It’s about the way that we choose to view the world & the things that happen in it.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  —Wayne Dyer

The key to happiness is to be happy—to choose happiness.  Every day is an opportunity.  You can make excuses, or, you can make magic.

What will you choose?

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

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    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

6 Comments

  1. It’s not always easy to be happy, but, making the effort even when you don’t really quite feel like it will have the desired effect.

    Too many worries anyway, just let ’em slide and enjoy yourself a bit and that will make you happy as well.

  2. Yesterday was a classic example of my practicing this tenant of life. I have been working for almost a year on a project, and I had to pull the plug on it yesterday. It has been stressful, and I am profoundly disappointed by the whole thing.

    So, I went to a local water park with a friend and played with her five-year-old all day. I laughed a lot and had a blast, and it helped me forget the thing that fell apart for a few hours. It even spilled over into today.

    1. @ Andra – Wow. It must be so difficult to pull the plug after a year. But I truly believe that we must “let it go if it isn’t serving us well.” I am so proud of you for having the strength, despite the disappointment. It sounds like you are doing everything right — you can’t go wrong with water parks & 5-year-olds!!! Love you so much, lady. <3

  3. This is an AWESOME post. You are so correct. We have a choice on how we look at life. Is the glass half empty or half full. I am the eternal optimist and I always like to TRY and find the positive in everything. I find that the simple things in life make me the happiest. Being connected to my awesome family and my friends online and in real life make me happy. I am surrounded by such great and wonderful people. I thank God for all of you. Hugs

    1. @ James – Thank you so much for the kind words. 😉 You constantly inspire me with that half glass full approach. You are an example of what I mean when I say, “Practice gratitude. Spread love, spread light.” I am so grateful for you, too. XO

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