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The Key to Happiness: Make Excuses or Make Magic

I want to let you in on an enormous secret.  It’s huge.  It’s life changing.  It’s intense.  It’s a game changer.  It is the secret to happiness.

Are you ready for it?  You sure?  Okay.

Here it comes….

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The key to happiness, is to be happy.

A Story
When I’m not doing epic, world-changing things like motivational speaking, writing, and life coaching; I work in an office.  For eight hours a day—Monday to Thursday—I’m an administrative manager.  I sit at a desk, compose emails, manage social media accounts, plan conferences, and so on.  Sometimes—actually a lot of times—I stuff envelopes.  We’re a small company, only four of us.  That means we all do everything—the big important stuff and the tiny administrative things (like stuffing envelopes).

Last week, I was working on a mailing.  At the particular moment that I’m referencing, I was applying stamps to envelopes—a few hundred of them.  There was nothing truly exceptional about that moment, except for the fact that I was really, really happy.  Every fiber of my being was glowing & I had the biggest smile on my face.

Yup.  Whilst applying hundreds of stamps to envelopes (nearly to the point of developing a blister on my thumb) I was grinning like a fool!

Some Happy Folks
A few months ago I was in Atlantic City for a conference.  The meeting space was located on the top floor of one of the nicest hotels in the city.  I was sitting at the registration desk when along came one of the banquet waiters—to my surprise—singing his heart out!

It didn’t take long for us to strike up conversation.  I was fascinated by this happy banquet waiter.  He was so musical & helpful & interesting.  Born in Ireland, he’s traveled the world, and has lived all over the U.S.  He’s got brothers & sisters spread out from New Zealand to Colorado.  For the past few years he’s called a little suburb outside of Atlantic City his home.  He waits at several casinos in A.C. (sometimes 18-hour shifts!) and he loves it.  He’s always smiling & singing and he’s really, really happy.

Thinking about that banquet waiter reminds me of the UPS and FedEx guys that frequent our office.  These guys are so cool.  We see them at least a few times a week and they’re always smiling & happy.  (Yes, it’s possible to be happy even when you hate your job.)

It also reminds me of the Masai people that I met while traveling in Kenya.  Like the banquet waiter & the postal workers, on the surface, these people didn’t seem to have all that much to be happy about.  In fact they didn’t have much at all.  They lived in huts—literally three plastered walls with straw roofs—some no bigger than my bedroom closet.  Most huts were without possessions.  The furnished ones housed a pot, a straw mat on the dirt floor, and a stone bench.  No running water or electricity anywhere.

But I’ll be darned if these people weren’t the happiest folks I’ve ever met in my life!  Talk about smiling, friendly, and joyous!  I’ve never seen anything like it—the men, the women, the children, the elderly—all happy.  And it wasn’t just one place, it was all over.  Every village that we visited from Kenya to Tanzania was full of smiles & happiness.

Back to the Story
So there I was, placing stamps on envelopes, smiling like a fool.  You may have guessed it by now, but I wasn’t ecstatic about stamping envelopes.  😉 As I sat there that day, I smiled because this really great song came on my iPhone & as the notes floated from the headphones to my ears, it reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for.  I started to count my blessings one by one—past, present, & future.

See, it’s wonderful to travel the world, to be filthy rich, to change lives, to inspire, to have great adventures.  But it’s also really wonderful to work in an office, to be a stay-at-home mommy, to enjoy a cup of tea with a friend, to be alive.  These things are wonderful when we choose to see them that way. Life is about perspective. It’s about the way that we choose to view the world & the things that happen in it.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  —Wayne Dyer

The key to happiness is to be happy—to choose happiness.  Every day is an opportunity.  You can make excuses, or, you can make magic.

What will you choose?

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

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    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

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    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

6 Comments

  1. It’s not always easy to be happy, but, making the effort even when you don’t really quite feel like it will have the desired effect.

    Too many worries anyway, just let ’em slide and enjoy yourself a bit and that will make you happy as well.

  2. Yesterday was a classic example of my practicing this tenant of life. I have been working for almost a year on a project, and I had to pull the plug on it yesterday. It has been stressful, and I am profoundly disappointed by the whole thing.

    So, I went to a local water park with a friend and played with her five-year-old all day. I laughed a lot and had a blast, and it helped me forget the thing that fell apart for a few hours. It even spilled over into today.

    1. @ Andra – Wow. It must be so difficult to pull the plug after a year. But I truly believe that we must “let it go if it isn’t serving us well.” I am so proud of you for having the strength, despite the disappointment. It sounds like you are doing everything right — you can’t go wrong with water parks & 5-year-olds!!! Love you so much, lady. <3

  3. This is an AWESOME post. You are so correct. We have a choice on how we look at life. Is the glass half empty or half full. I am the eternal optimist and I always like to TRY and find the positive in everything. I find that the simple things in life make me the happiest. Being connected to my awesome family and my friends online and in real life make me happy. I am surrounded by such great and wonderful people. I thank God for all of you. Hugs

    1. @ James – Thank you so much for the kind words. 😉 You constantly inspire me with that half glass full approach. You are an example of what I mean when I say, “Practice gratitude. Spread love, spread light.” I am so grateful for you, too. XO

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