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Choosing Sobriety with Grüvi Bevies

Choosing Sobriety

Today marks 45 days since I’ve had an alcoholic beverage. For a long time, I’ve known that alcohol didn’t agree with me. No matter how many, or how few, drinks that I had, I always suffered a hangover after drinking. Even just a couple of glasses of wine with dinner would leave me with a headache the next day. Aside from the physical effects–headaches, upset stomach, dehydration–drinking also took a horrific toll on my anxiety. While the initial “buzzy” feeling of alcohol was a nice reprieve, it always quickly devolved into something painful.

What many people don’t realize is that alcohol is a disaster for people with anxiety. When you drink alcohol, the chemical balance in your brain is disrupted. After a few drinks, you feel more relaxed and less inhibited. Dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ chemical is released in greater supply into your brain–thus you feel great for a short time. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for this. What comes up, must come down. When you begin to sober up, your brain tries feverishly to correct the chemical imbalance caused by drinking–and anxiety floods in. For some, this transition is minor, but for those with high levels of anxiety, it can wreak havoc, even causing full blown panic attacks.

And even though I suffered through this painful cycle for years, I never considered it as optional. In my family and among my friend groups, drinking is “just something that we do.” Period. And so, I spent my life, from adolescence to this past summer, drinking alcohol with abandon.

I can’t recall exactly when I decided that choosing sobriety might be a good option for me. Years ago I had participated in No Alcohol November and a few years back, I gave up drinking for a couple of months to “clear my head.” These experiences were positive, but I always went back to my old habits. But this time around, this decision to make a permanent change, has been a long-time coming I suppose. Something first began to click for me a few months into the COVID pandemic. I was drinking to manage the stress of life in quarantine. Needless to say, that didn’t work out well.

Around that time I began moving deeply into the work of two women who I admire tremendously, Brené Brown and Glennon Doyle. One day, I was walking around the lake, listening to Brené’s podcast, and she was interviewing Glennon. Brené referenced the fact that both women had been sober for over a decade. I suppose a light bulb went on for me in that moment. I became curious about sobriety in a way that I had never felt before. If sobriety had been so utterly transformational for these two women whom I adored and admired so greatly, perhaps it was something that I, too, should consider.

As summer began to wind down and autumn was approaching, like all parents, I was under a tremendous amount of stress wondering what “back-to-school” would look like in this pandemic. My anxiety was worsening by the day, and once again, I was using alcohol to cope. There was an endless stream of alcohol-related memes being pumped out on the internet.

“The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.”
“There are days when you need that second glass of wine, and days when you need that second bottle.”
“What wine pairs well with homeschooling 3 kids?”
“Wine. Because yoga can’t solve all your problems.”

The “Mommy Wine Culture” is rampant right now. Like many, I used to eat that stuff up. Justification! Wine is touted as a cure-all for the woes of motherhood; but the truth is, and especially if you struggle with anxiety, that wine is one of the most destructive coping mechanisms out there. It’s normalized poison. But I don’t want this post to turn into a lecture and I trust that most adults are capable of making good, healthy decisions for themselves. I suppose that today, I just want to share that there is another option out there for those of us who want a different lifestyle.

There were a couple of incidences in August, where I drank too much and suffered severe panic attacks the next morning as a result. That, coupled with my existing curiosity about sobriety, pushed me to pull the trigger. On August 16th, I made the decision that I was done with alcohol.

A few years ago I stumbled on a quote that read: “Decide what kind of life you really want… and then, say no to everything that isn’t that.” I loved that advice so much that I saved it as the background on my phone. Over these last few years, I’ve worked incredibly hard to do just that, to move away from the things that were not serving me well. To embrace the life that I really want, a life of peace, wellness, joy, productivity, love, growth and inspiration. No where in that life that I want does it say: alcohol, drunkenness, hangovers, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and so on. What I want a is a life that fills my heart with so much joy that I do not need to escape from it. Alcohol was never going to help me get there. In fact, it has only been derailing me all this time.

As fate would have it, a few days after I made this decision, I was contacted by a company called Grüvi and they asked if I would like to try out their non-alcoholic beverages and I was so excited to do so. Honestly, at the time I didn’t know how I was going to manage social situations where other people were drinking. When Grüvi reached out it was literally an answered prayer. I have carried their drinks with me to all of the social gatherings that we’ve attended and it has been a joy. I don’t feel left out and their drinks are truly delicious.

Choosing Sobriety

I just love the company’s mission. Grüvi strives to create an inclusive community focused on making better choices within our daily lives. They truly believe in a world where we don’t always need to feel inclined to drink in a social setting, and a world where everyone can feel comfortable, regardless of what’s in their cup.

Their mission is simple- help others be healthy and stay social, one drink at a time. They’ve created a line of craft, non-alcoholic beers and wine because you deserve it. Your health is your wealth, and the beverage you consume shouldn’t compromise that.

While alcohol remains so pervasive in our society, Grüvi has created a brand that breaks this cycle. They’ve created drinks that dispel the common notion that non-alcoholic beer tastes, well, not great.

I’ve been enjoying the drinks that they sent me so very much and I am so grateful to have a tasty, healthy brew, that allows me to live in the moment, alcohol free. Before I close this post I want to say that this post isn’t sponsored. I was sent these drinks and asked to share my honest opinion if I felt moved to do so. I will be forever grateful that this company reached out to me when they did. It was perfect timing, and the perfect confirmation to remind me that I am on the right track.

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    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

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