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Choosing Sobriety with Grüvi Bevies

Choosing Sobriety

Today marks 45 days since I’ve had an alcoholic beverage. For a long time, I’ve known that alcohol didn’t agree with me. No matter how many, or how few, drinks that I had, I always suffered a hangover after drinking. Even just a couple of glasses of wine with dinner would leave me with a headache the next day. Aside from the physical effects–headaches, upset stomach, dehydration–drinking also took a horrific toll on my anxiety. While the initial “buzzy” feeling of alcohol was a nice reprieve, it always quickly devolved into something painful.

What many people don’t realize is that alcohol is a disaster for people with anxiety. When you drink alcohol, the chemical balance in your brain is disrupted. After a few drinks, you feel more relaxed and less inhibited. Dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ chemical is released in greater supply into your brain–thus you feel great for a short time. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for this. What comes up, must come down. When you begin to sober up, your brain tries feverishly to correct the chemical imbalance caused by drinking–and anxiety floods in. For some, this transition is minor, but for those with high levels of anxiety, it can wreak havoc, even causing full blown panic attacks.

And even though I suffered through this painful cycle for years, I never considered it as optional. In my family and among my friend groups, drinking is “just something that we do.” Period. And so, I spent my life, from adolescence to this past summer, drinking alcohol with abandon.

I can’t recall exactly when I decided that choosing sobriety might be a good option for me. Years ago I had participated in No Alcohol November and a few years back, I gave up drinking for a couple of months to “clear my head.” These experiences were positive, but I always went back to my old habits. But this time around, this decision to make a permanent change, has been a long-time coming I suppose. Something first began to click for me a few months into the COVID pandemic. I was drinking to manage the stress of life in quarantine. Needless to say, that didn’t work out well.

Around that time I began moving deeply into the work of two women who I admire tremendously, Brené Brown and Glennon Doyle. One day, I was walking around the lake, listening to Brené’s podcast, and she was interviewing Glennon. Brené referenced the fact that both women had been sober for over a decade. I suppose a light bulb went on for me in that moment. I became curious about sobriety in a way that I had never felt before. If sobriety had been so utterly transformational for these two women whom I adored and admired so greatly, perhaps it was something that I, too, should consider.

As summer began to wind down and autumn was approaching, like all parents, I was under a tremendous amount of stress wondering what “back-to-school” would look like in this pandemic. My anxiety was worsening by the day, and once again, I was using alcohol to cope. There was an endless stream of alcohol-related memes being pumped out on the internet.

“The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.”
“There are days when you need that second glass of wine, and days when you need that second bottle.”
“What wine pairs well with homeschooling 3 kids?”
“Wine. Because yoga can’t solve all your problems.”

The “Mommy Wine Culture” is rampant right now. Like many, I used to eat that stuff up. Justification! Wine is touted as a cure-all for the woes of motherhood; but the truth is, and especially if you struggle with anxiety, that wine is one of the most destructive coping mechanisms out there. It’s normalized poison. But I don’t want this post to turn into a lecture and I trust that most adults are capable of making good, healthy decisions for themselves. I suppose that today, I just want to share that there is another option out there for those of us who want a different lifestyle.

There were a couple of incidences in August, where I drank too much and suffered severe panic attacks the next morning as a result. That, coupled with my existing curiosity about sobriety, pushed me to pull the trigger. On August 16th, I made the decision that I was done with alcohol.

A few years ago I stumbled on a quote that read: “Decide what kind of life you really want… and then, say no to everything that isn’t that.” I loved that advice so much that I saved it as the background on my phone. Over these last few years, I’ve worked incredibly hard to do just that, to move away from the things that were not serving me well. To embrace the life that I really want, a life of peace, wellness, joy, productivity, love, growth and inspiration. No where in that life that I want does it say: alcohol, drunkenness, hangovers, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and so on. What I want a is a life that fills my heart with so much joy that I do not need to escape from it. Alcohol was never going to help me get there. In fact, it has only been derailing me all this time.

As fate would have it, a few days after I made this decision, I was contacted by a company called Grüvi and they asked if I would like to try out their non-alcoholic beverages and I was so excited to do so. Honestly, at the time I didn’t know how I was going to manage social situations where other people were drinking. When Grüvi reached out it was literally an answered prayer. I have carried their drinks with me to all of the social gatherings that we’ve attended and it has been a joy. I don’t feel left out and their drinks are truly delicious.

Choosing Sobriety

I just love the company’s mission. Grüvi strives to create an inclusive community focused on making better choices within our daily lives. They truly believe in a world where we don’t always need to feel inclined to drink in a social setting, and a world where everyone can feel comfortable, regardless of what’s in their cup.

Their mission is simple- help others be healthy and stay social, one drink at a time. They’ve created a line of craft, non-alcoholic beers and wine because you deserve it. Your health is your wealth, and the beverage you consume shouldn’t compromise that.

While alcohol remains so pervasive in our society, Grüvi has created a brand that breaks this cycle. They’ve created drinks that dispel the common notion that non-alcoholic beer tastes, well, not great.

I’ve been enjoying the drinks that they sent me so very much and I am so grateful to have a tasty, healthy brew, that allows me to live in the moment, alcohol free. Before I close this post I want to say that this post isn’t sponsored. I was sent these drinks and asked to share my honest opinion if I felt moved to do so. I will be forever grateful that this company reached out to me when they did. It was perfect timing, and the perfect confirmation to remind me that I am on the right track.

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    How to Overcome Fear & Stop Resisting

    “To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness.” —Eckhart Tolle

    Stop resisting the will of the Universe. I’ve said this to myself thousands of times. It is perhaps one of the most powerful tools that has led me to peace of mind.

    In the past four years, I overcame depression, anxiety, and I lost sixty pounds. When you overcome a lifetime of anxiety & depression, a lot of things change. For one thing, you begin to enjoy life. Simple things that you hadn’t noticed before fill your heart with joy—Spring, a cold glass of water on a hot day, a good workout, a kind word, a smile. When you are overcome by the effects of anxiety & depression, you do not have time to notice these simple pleasures. (They are often overshadowed by the negative, irrational thoughts swarming inside of your head.)

    Happiness begets happiness, as I like to say. However, even in my increased state of happiness, I knew that something still wasn’t right. It took me awhile to realize what it was. Only after months of careful self-observation did I realize what was happening.

    A hard day at work = I was disgusted, angry, plagued by head aches.
    A frustrating experience at a car dealership = I was furious.
    An upcoming flight and travel arrangements = I was anxious, worried, sick to my stomach.

    I was continually allowing my mind to make me angry, sick, sad, frustrated, etc. Yet, after each of these experiences I learned some valuable lesson or something really important & meaningful happened as a result.

    Hard days at work always lead me to clarity about how myself and my team could be more efficient.
    The frustrating experience at the car dealership actually prevented me from making a terrible mistake and purchasing the wrong car.
    Recent travel and trips have brought me incredible successes in my personal & professional life.

    Upon observing all of this, it hit me. Even when things seemed terrible, even when I was really upset, eventually the pain of the situation would subside. Moreover, I would come out on the other side wiser, stronger, and grateful. Every thing that happened (happens) to me is a direct result of the will of the Universe (you can call that God, fate, destiny, or any other name you’d like to give it, no matter). Yes, every thing that happens is a direct result of the will of the Universe and an opportunity to learn and grow. In order to live true happiness, I had to stop resisting the will of the Universe. Once I did this, my life changed in incredible (and previously unimaginable) ways. When I stop resisting and simply “go with the flow” I find that I am constantly filled with a deep calmness in my soul. I do not worry or suffer. I simply exist and let all scenarios play themselves out. I understand that even pain is necessary and that ultimately it will carry me to a place of light & peace.

    Fear is Unnecessary

    At the root of every single feeling of discomfort, lies one emotion: fear. Fear is the emotion responsible for all forms of suffering. Sadness, anxiety, worry, rage, hatred, envy, and all other forms of suffering are rooted in fear. However, once you stop resisting the will of the Universe, you will understand that fear and suffering are actually not necessary at all.

    The vast majority of fear and suffering is a result of living in an unreal world and/or allowing negative, irrational thoughts to control our minds. The unreal world is the world of sky rise buildings, electricity, paper money, McDonald’s, television, marketing, vanity surgery, reality TV, etc. The real world is the world of trees, dirt, sun, stars, wind, rain, whole foods, self-love, generosity, family, love, etc. Can you see the difference? Once you remove yourself from the suffocating chains of the unreal world, and begin living in the real world, you will find that most of the fears that you experience are completely unnecessary. The vast majority of anxieties that we suffer from are made-up.

    – fear of judgment
    – fear of failure
    – fear of humiliation
    – fear of public speaking
    – fear of making a mistake
    – fear of travel
    – fear of forgetting something
    – fear of being alone and so on

    Once you realize that these fears are made-up in the unreal world, they can hold no power over you. All of the above are irrational anxieties. None of those things would actually put your life in danger or expose you to any harm. The only place that they can affect you is in your head. But you must remember that you have control over what goes on in your head! You can use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to end the suffering.

    Eventually, you will realize that true fear might have a place in your life, but that is only when you are truly in danger. Perhaps while being chased by a bear or masked murderer, while falling from a cliff, etc. Yes, in those instances, your fear is justified and it can help you by creating adrenaline, increased strength, quicker reflexes and cognitive ability. But other than those “real” true fear situations, there is really no need for fear and certainly no need for emotional suffering.

    Live Without Resistance or Fear

    Once you learn to stop resisting the will of the Universe and to live without fear, you will experience an entirely new & improved sort of living. You will find that all of the things that you once desired, but were afraid to seek, are actually within your reach. For example, I was emotionally crippled by irrational anxiety for the first half of my life. This made it impossible for me to speak in front of people. I could not ask a question in a class of twenty, let alone get up in front of a group of people to speak. My anxiety over public speaking was so great, that it crippled me. I once experienced a debilitating panic attack at a dinner party of five family friends! But… that is ancient history.

    Now, my former self is hardly recognizable. I have spoken in front of groups of sixty people or more with grace and confidence. I know that my fear is irrational & unnecessary, so I overcome it. Sure, my heart rate may increase, I might sweat a bit—but I do not let it stop me! I remind myself that that the fear is not real and I move forward to success.

    You are entirely capable of achieving the same same sort of success in your own life—personal & professional. Whatever your fear is, you can overcome it.

    “You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you.” —Wayne Dyer

    To allow fear to rule your life, is not to live at all. So stop resisting the will of the Universe and stop allowing fear to rule your life. Begin living, truly living, right now. There is nothing in your way. What is your greatest fear? Can you believe that it is unnecessary? What would you do if you had no fear in your heart at all? How different could your life be?

    The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them!

    I am now offering personalized coaching sessions to individuals suffering from anxiety &/or depression. If you are interested in scheduling a session or would like to learn more, please contact me at denabotbyl[@]gmail[.]com for details and rates. Include CBT Session in the subject line.

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