Growing in Love: Keeping a Relationship Happy

Here on the blog I’ve written about divorce, but I have yet to talk about what came next for me. I am working on a series of posts about separation, divorce, single motherhood, starting over, and transitioning to a blended family. Based on those topics, you can tell that it has been an “interesting” few years for me, laced with pain, learning, healing, and growth. The most important lesson that I have taken away from it all is that you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another person. It sounds trite and we’ve all heard it before, but when you’ve gone through it, you learn that it is not just a catch phrase, it is the absolute truth.

If you follow me on social media, then you’ve read about my new partner, but I am excited to share some of this new adventure here, too. And, I am especially happy to share these beautiful photographs taken by my sweet and talented friend, Erin. I will get into some deeper stuff in future posts. Today, I want to take a lighter approach and talk about some of the fun ways that I’ve learned to keep a relationship healthy with your partner found in dating sites christians.

Life has a way of getting in the way when it comes to relationships. In the beginning, there is so much love and excitement, but add kids, a career, and a house to the mix, and things can fall apart quickly. Suddenly, it feels as though there is no time for love. You spend less and less quality time together, you begin growing apart, arguments arise about trivial things, and before you know it, you’re questioning the future of your relationship.

Though no relationship is perfect, many long-term relationships end simply because both parties forget just how much work it takes to keep things together. They often lose themselves to providing and caring for their families and essentially forget why they fell in love in the first place.

The truth is, if you want to keep your relationship together, you have to be willing to work at it daily. If the two of you decide to continually choose each other and prioritize your relationship needs, you can sustain a happy and healthy relationship. Below, are some suggestions on how to do this.

Schedule Time to Talk
Communication is key. Daily responsibilities and routines can take up a great deal of your time, but communication within your relationships is of the utmost importance. If you find that you’re not talking much, pencil time in your day to do so. You can both wake up a few minutes earlier than the kids and have a conversation over a cup of coffee or you can talk just before you turn in for bed. For heavier conversations, schedule some time on the weekend to talk on a scenic drive or a walk outside.

Plan Date Nights
The monotony of a relationship can put distance between any couple. Life can’t always be spontaneous, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have a good time. Start scheduling date nights a couple times a month. Do things that you both enjoy and avoid stressful topics like money, home, the kids, or work in conversation while you’re out. Just spend time enjoying each other’s company.

Flirt with Each Other
When you were dating chances are you gave each other compliments all the time. These words made your heart sing. Even after being together for years, hearing your partner tell you how attractive you are or how much they want you in a flirtatious way does wonders for your self-esteem and the relationship. So whether you flirt in person, send them a cute text message, or leave cute little notes for them to find around the house, just let your partner know how desirable you still find them.

Give Each Other Gifts from the Heart
For people that speak the love language of gift-giving, receiving a present from their partner out of the blue makes them feel special. There’s nothing wrong with splurging on your loved one on occasion. Especially if you know it’s something they will really appreciate. You can make something from the heart like a painting, sculpture, or scarf, or you can buy them something nice like a necklace, watch, or ring from Diamonds Forever San Diego. You don’t have to break the bank to let your partner know you were thinking of them.

Vacation Together
When is the last time you and your partner went on a nice vacation just the two of you? If it’s been a while, perhaps it’s time to plan a little romantic getaway. Even leaving town for the weekend can really help to strengthen your relationship and improve your happiness. Don’t let your budget keep you from getting away from it all to refocus on each other for a bit. You can get a nice hotel a few miles away from home and spend the time together ordering room service and binge-watching your favorite movies or you can plan a week-long trip to a tropical destination and lounge around the beach, go for a hike, and enjoy fancy restaurants.

Love is the greatest and most beautiful gift that we are given in life. It isn’t always easy, but it is so worth it. Next to prioritizing your own wellness, investing time in keeping your relationship happy and healthy is the best thing that you can do for your family. Everyone will benefit from the overflow of love that is created when you put in the effort and choose each other every day.

Thank you to the talented Erin Galardi of Ruffles and Trains Photography for the gorgeous photographs in this post.

you may also like

  • · · · ·

    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

2 Comments

  1. Beautiful and inspiring, and yes tears are falling silently down my cheeks at my desk while eating my hummus and crackers….the good tears, ya know.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Cindy Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *