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Hakuna Matata: Part Three

On Being the Minority

Kenya was a culture shock to me for many reasons. One of the most eye-opening aspects of the trip was the experience of being the minority for the first time in my life. Whether on campus at Kenyatta University or out on excursions, I was constantly in a very small minority. Most of my classmates on the trip were black. Among those of us that were white, there were only six. And of the six, only three of us were women. I was a white woman face in an endless sea of black faces. Sometimes, we would go entire days without seeing other white faces. It was completely exhilarating, enlightening, and frightening all at once. I will be forever grateful for that experience. It is a humbling feeling that all people should experience.

Our first few days were spent in & around Nairobi and attending classes at Kenyatta University. After that, we set out on a 14-day safari. I experienced a million different scents, smells, tastes, sounds and emotions on safari. It is impossible to describe it. Not even the 800 photographs that I snapped could do it justice. We experienced all that Kenya had to offer from the great mountain, to the vast Massai Mara plains; from the unmatched hospitality of the Kenyan people, to the giant Lake Nakuru. My heart soared without end. The wildlife was unbelievable. The generosity & bright spirits of the Kenyan people was unparalleled. It was the greatest adventure of my lifetime. And to think how close I came to missing it…

One highlight of safari was meeting with the Massai people in their village. These people live a life that is truly incomprehensible to Westerners. Their homes are merely straw huts thatched together with mud. Each home is the size of what we might consider a walk-in closet. There is no electricity and no running water. The Massai people drink the blood of the animals that they slaughter. When my companions expressed shock at this, the Massai explained that they are shocked by the fact that we drink milk. Among the Massai, money is not currency. Wealth is determined by the number of goats that a person owns. The men have many wives. The boys experience painful coming of age circumcision, and must kill a lion to be considered a warrior.

evolutionyou.net | massaid warriors

I met with one Massai warrior & purchased a lion claw necklace from him. The claw came from a lion that he hunted before becoming a warrior. It is my most prized possession to this day. I wear it when I need strength.

Lesson 5: Accept other cultures as they are. Do not try to interpret or change them. Appreciate their beauty & their differences. We are one family, one human race.

After our safari, we headed to the coast to spend our last few days in Mombasa. We stayed at a resort right on the Indian Ocean. It was the most spectacular thing. The Indian Ocean is very different than what I am used to (the Atlantic). It is warm & clean & exotic.

One day we ventured out into Mombasa for a tour of an old castle and shopping. It was blistering hot and I wore short, white shorts and a light blue t-shirt. I will never forget that outfit. See, no one mentioned to me that Mombasa was 99% Muslim. Not only was I one of the only white faces for miles in any direction, but I was half naked in a world where women kept their entire bodies and faces covered. I spent that day with eyes burning into my skin.

Later in the marketplace, we witnessed a thief being beaten by a hoard of angry merchants. They kicked him in the stomach and battered him with sticks. Blood flew through the air in our direction. This was the law of Mombasa, a self-governed rule.

This day was difficult. I was terrified, but I am grateful for it.

Lesson 6: Pay strict attention to the cultures in the places that you travel. It is wise to be over-prepared than under. Inquire about all manners of life before venturing out — including religion and fashion. There will be good & bad in every place. This is the way of the world.

This is Part 3 of a 4-part series that I will be sharing about my trip to Kenya, Africa. Read Part 4 here.

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    Let Go of Your Goals & Unleash Your Dreams

    Dreams are Just as Important as Goals

    I’ve written quite a bit about setting & accomplishing goals; overcoming fears; and making the best out of difficult situations. But what I haven’t written enough about is flat out—unleashing your dreams.

    Goal setting is a very mathematical process. It goes something like this: Define your goal. Map out the steps necessary to achieve it. Research, develop, act. Work until you get there. This is great, it makes sense, it gets things done. However, goals are full of limitations. In order to accomplish Z, first I need to do X and Y. If I want to be in this place by this date, then I’ve got to accomplish X, Y, and Z by this date. And so on and so forth it goes. We plan and work and strive.

    Yes, goal-setting & goal accomplishment are crucial elements to success; but sometimes we have to just let go of our goals and start unleashing our dreams! Throw caution to the wind and go for it. But how?, you ask. Well, you start by defining your dreams & broadcasting them to the world. Today I am going to define my wildest dreams & share them with you.

    “Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” –Ayn Rand

    Why Are We Afraid to Expose Our Dreams?

    To be honest, I am a bit nervous about this. I feel like I am exposing a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden. When you keep your wildest dreams to yourself, you’re safe. If no one knows what you want, then no one can hold you accountable. For example, if your best friend has no idea that you dream of moving to Costa Rica to collect butterflies in the rain forest—then she isn’t going to check in with you once a month and ask where you’re at. If you’re father doesn’t know that you dream of quitting your job to build collectible trains and sell them on Ebay—then he isn’t going to be hounding you with questions about it at the holidays. And when you are not faced with those questions you are safe. Your dreams can stay on the back burner while your life passes you by. You are not held accountable. You don’t experience pressure. But, my friend, today is the day that you must realize something critical: It is pressure that makes diamonds!

    Broadcast Your Desires to the Universe

    Steve Pavlina recently wrote a post called Broadcast Your Desires. In the post, he explains why broadcasting our desires & dreams to the world is the best way to make them a reality. If you can’t broadcast your desires, it’s fair to say that you don’t own them yet. In order to make your desires become real, you’ve got to speak up about them. If you’re going to receive them, then let it be known. If you find it necessary to hide what you desire, that suggests you aren’t ready to receive.

    Well, I am ready to receive! I hope that by taking this step in my own life, I will inspire you to take it in your own. Here I go…!

    My Dreams

    1. Grow evolution you
    I want to take this blog to great heights, attract thousands of readers, inspire people around the world. I want to monetize it so that I can devote myself to improving people’s lives full-time. And as a result, I want to become location independent so that I can travel the world, spreading love & light where ever I go.

    2. Write a book
    I haven’t quite worked out the details of this one yet—it’s a bit ever-evolving. I’ll pin it down soon enough, for now I am just dreaming wildly!

    3. Travel to the Great Pyramids in Egypt
    I feel intimately connected to the people of ancient Egypt. Perhaps it is the beautiful & mysterious way that Ancient Egypt is depicted in films & literature, whatever the cause, the very idea of it thrills me. I have long dreamed of visiting & exploring the ancient pyramids for myself.

    4. Learn to speak French

    5. Spend time living & working in Europe
    Italy, France, and Belgium all seem such lovely places to me. I’d like to spend at least a few months in each place.

    6. Safari in Africa
    This is the only dream on the list that I already accomplished. In the Summer of 2006 I studied abroad in Kenya, studying, on safari, and touring. It was a truly incredible experience and I’ll be making a post about it soon.

    7. Live in the wilderness
    I am insanely attracted to nature. In fact, I am quite convinced that I am a tigress/she-wolf/mermaid trapped in the body of a human woman. I feel most at home in nature—in the mountains, near the sea, anywhere wild. I’ve long dreamed of escaping the civilization circa Into the Wild. It would certainly not be a permanent thing; but I’d love to experience it at least for a few weeks to see how long I’d last.

    8. Have or adopt a baby
    Last February my sister gave birth to me beautiful Godson, Brian. Ever since then, I’ve heard the ticking of my own biological clock a tad louder than before. I am not in any rush, as you can see I’ve got a lot I want to do before I am quite ready to “settle down” but it is definitely an enormous dream of mine, some day.

    9. Spend time on a Native American reservation
    I’d like to spend some time living or at least working/volunteering on a reservation. I am passionate about Native American culture and it would be a great honor to serve the Native American people in some capacity and to learn first-hand their cultures, traditions, and needs.

    10. Serve on the Board of Directors for a prominent wildlife conservation foundation

    11. Visit a Buddhist monastery in Tibet

    ——————————–

    These are not all of my dreams, not nearly, but the list could go on and on. For now, these are the ones that I am working toward—in the near & distant—future. It was not nearly as difficult to share them as I thought it would be! This list will be ever-evolving and I will update it as my dreams are accomplished and as they change.

    Alright, I did my part. Now it’s your turn! I would love to hear about your big dreams in the comments or if you make your own big dream post please let me know about it.

9 Comments

  1. Dena, I LOVE this series.  How wonderful that you have put all the lessons learned through your international travel out here for others to see.  I truly believe that travel and immersing yourself in another culture forever changes how you view the world.  Studying abroad did that for me and I see myself in your stories and remember learning similar lessons.  It’s an experience too many people miss out on.  Thanks for the great stories! 

    1. so glad that you are enjoying the series, stephanie!  it was really fun to share it.  such an important, incredible piece of my journey.  <3  love you.  xo

  2. Very interesting and a little scary as well. Happy that you did not have problems in Mombasa because of your attire, it can get a little difficult in places like that.

    1. it was scary, lou.  my heart was pounding out of my chest.  but it was so incredibly worth it–exhilarating.   it let me know, always, that i am alive.  that life is precious.

  3. I am gearing up to visit Bangkok next year as part of a Rotary trip, and I suspect I will feel much the same as you did in Kenya. It is always disconcerting to thrust oneself into the midst of something truly foreign, but exhilarating as well. Travel makes people more tolerant, I think, because no matter how different people are, we’re always the same, if that makes sense.

    1. i am so jealous!  i have LONG dreamed of visiting thailand.  i can not wait to hear about your trip.  indeed, travel makes people infinitely more tolerant.  it is a rare soul who can view the majesty of the world  & its people and return unchanged.

  4. Dena, I love this Hakuna Matata series. It is far too dense to have posted as one entry… thank you for sharing. The lion claw, the unexpected Muslim presence in Mombasa, all of it.

  5. So it took me some time but tonite I am finally reading your Hakuna Matata series. And I am glad you talk about this feeling of being the minority.
    I went to Ivory Coast when I was 15 to see my great uncle who spent is life over there as missionary priest. (Understand that being a priest in a remote Ivory Coast village implies more aptitude at fixing people’s home than saying the mass).
    It was definitely one of the best experience in my life. My only goal in life when was 15 was to get Playstation and spending one month in Africa changed me enough to never get a playstation (wow… while I’m writing this I realize I actually have one – it was given to me – and I never really used it —> Salvation Army tomorrow).
    So the big feeling in Africa was being the only white guy (the “toobaboo”). When I tell his to American/European people, they often get that (politely correct) offended look on their face like you can’t say it feels weird to see only black people everywhere looking at you. It does del weird. It’s awkward when kids touch your skin to see if they will turn white. It’s strange to scare babies because they never saw someone your colour.
    It makes you very humble.
    Thank you for this post Dena!

    1. Oh… I have more to say.
      I also found myself on being the minority (or feeling completely disconnected when we talked about money). I realized that the price of shoes (for what I paid in France) was enough to feed a family for one month. 
      My white colour was also the colour of money. I learned how to not give money to everybody because everybody means *everybody*.
      I have never been in a rich family but I was living in super luxury conditions compared to the people over there. I still don’t understand how the value of money is so different. It’s really a shame, I feel bad that my french government still “helps” african countries by giving them high interest loans or super expensive malaria medication. Why is everybody thinks it is ok?

      On a lighter tone: another lesson I learned. Don’t take any medication you can get at the pharmacy. I had stomach problem (the famous “tourista” – I won’t give you the details but I think you know what I mean) and the doctor prescribes codeine medication. I took it and I should not have. Codeine completely changes your perception of time (like 2 seconds equal 1 day). I was in a small village of Northern Ivory Coast when it happened and there was a kind of animist ceremony next to the building were I was sleeping. I had the feeling my night of (non-)sleep lasted for 1 year (no kidding) and I still got my tourista! With all the chantings and transe djembe music –> Weirdest trip experience I ever had. Lesson learned: say no to drugs 🙂

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