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How to Combat Anxiety, Panic Attacks, & Depersonalization

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It Happened to Me

I experienced depersonalization for the first time ten years ago. I was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school. I had just answered a question incorrectly in Spanish class. I was mortified. When you are shy (or suffering from anxiety) it takes a lot to raise your hand in class. The moment you even consider it, the “what ifs?” flood your mind. What if I get it wrong? What if everyone stares at me? What if the teacher embarrasses me? What if everyone thinks I am stupid? What if I blush? What if I sweat? What if I faint? What if I have a heart attack? It sounds crazy, that is, if you’ve never suffered from anxiety. On the other hand, if you have, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

As the “whatifs” flooded my mind, something began to happen. I started to lose touch with reality. I drifted further and further into panic. In reality, I had raised my hand and gotten an answer wrong. In my head, it was much worse than that. The world was crumbling around me. I could feel every pair of eyes in the room searing through my skin. I knew that everyone was thinking about how stupid I was. My face turned red, I started to sweat, and my heart raced. I thought that I would faint. And then it happened, depersonalization.

I began to slowly drift away from my physical body. And then I was outside of my body looking in, as if in a dream. I was frozen and confused. I thought that I was having a mental break down. I would need to be carried away in a straight-jacket. My life was over. Eventually I came back to earth; but that was only the beginning of what would be a long, hard battle.

I would continue to suffer from depersonalization as a result of my anxiety for many years. It would not be until years later that I would discover the CBT that would save my life. Depersonalization can strike at any time. For me, it most often occurred in social situations. I would be in the middle of a conversation and the warning signs would appear:

  • Dark spots, or floaters, would appear in my line of vision
  • Voices (mine and others) would begin to carry an echo as if speaking into a deep cave
  • My heart would race
  • I believed that my words were no longer “making sense”
  • I would begin to float away from my body

What Causes Depersonalization?

All of the symptoms that I have discussed are caused by a panic attack. A panic attack is a distinct period of intense fear that develops abruptly and usually reaches a crescendo within a few minutes or less. Physical symptoms may include hyperventilation, palpitations, trembling, sweating, dizziness, hot flashes or chills, numbness or tingling, and the sensation or fear of nausea or choking. Psychologic symptoms may include depersonalization, fear of fainting, dying, doing something uncontrolled, or losing one’s mind. Panic attacks are caused by anxiety.

I did not know it, but I had been suffering from relatively intense anxiety my entire life. In retrospect, I suffered from anxiety from the time I was a toddler. Even as a two-year-old, I was constantly worried about my baby sister. As we grew older, I continued to worry over her and then over all aspects of my life. My worry was not normal or rational. It was intense and unnecessary; but no one could help me. I was a child and everyone just thought I was a “worrier.”

Taking Control

As I mentioned above, it would take years for me to overcome anxiety and lead a normal life. It would take years after that for me to lead an exceptional life, unaffected by anxiety — comfortable speaking in front of large crowds, being the center of attention, and becoming a healthy, confident woman. Overcoming anxiety (and depression) even led me to lose 70 pounds which I’ve talked about in more detail here.

All people suffer from varying degrees of anxiety and even depersonalization. Almost everyone has had some sort of outer-body experience. Whether it happens on a regular basis or on a rare occasion (think life flashing before your eyes before a car crash), it happens to all of us. We have developed these mental coping mechanisms as a result of thousands of years of evolution. In some cases, anxiety is healthy. You would certainly need some level of anxiety whilst scavenging for berries outside of a sleeping bear’s cave, for example.

However, too much of anything is not healthy. Too much anxiety is debilitating. It prevents you from living the life of your dreams. So what can you do to keep your anxiety in at a healthy level? There isn’t a really simple solution or a quick fix, so don’t let anybody fool you. It actually takes a lot of hard work (sometimes even years) because you have to completely re-train your mind. You have to change your thought processes. There are many ways to do this (therapy, hypnotism, etc.); however I used a process called CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) to treat my anxiety and I had amazing results. You can read more about my experience with CBT here.

There are a couple of simple ways to decrease your anxiety before it begins to spiral out of control:

1. Control your thoughts. Panic attacks are almost always caused by negative irrational thoughts. If you stop those negative irrational thoughts as they occur, and turn them into positive rational thoughts immediately, you are far less likely to spiral into a panic attack.

Practice changing your thoughts by keeping a daily thought journal. Jot down your negative irrational thoughts on one side of the paper and turn them into positive rational thoughts on the other side. If you practice this habit enough, eventually you will be able to do it automatically and avoid panic attacks altogether.

2. Breathe. Panic attacks are almost always accompanied by a rapid heart beat. Rapid heart beat is a universal symptoms of fear — from a gazelle being stalked by a lion to a student giving a presentation to her class. As we exhibit symptoms of fear, we give in to it. First the rapid heart beat, then the sweat, and then the rest of the “fight or flight” response. By slowing down your heart rate, however, you can avoid the whole chain and stop it before it ever gets to the panic stage.

Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rare and conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. As soon as you begin to experience the fear, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest and deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

Practice this breathing exercise daily (perhaps as a meditation each morning or night). Then, the next time that you feel yourself beginning to panic you will be expertly prepared to calm yourself through breath.

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I suffered from anxiety for my entire life. Some days, I still suffer from anxiety. The difference now is that I have the tools necessary to defeat the anxiety & live my best life. When I fall down, I get back up. Every. Single. Time. If you are suffering, know that you can and you will get through this! Anxiety is not the end. You can overcome it.

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  • · ·

    3 Simple Changes That Will Save Your Life

    This post could save your life. These 3 simple lifestyle changes saved mine. Today I am going to simply share facts with you. These facts (if you let them) will dramatically improve your quality of life. Making these changes can even increase your life span.

    1. Stop Smoking

    FACTS: According to the American Heart Association, cigarette smoking is the most important preventable cause of premature death in the United States, accounting for 440,000 of the more than 2.4 million annual deaths.

    Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. In fact, smoking tobacco is the major risk factor for lung cancer. In the United States, about 90% of lung cancer deaths in men and almost 80% of lung cancer deaths in women are due to smoking. People who smoke are 10 to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. The longer a person smokes and the more cigarettes smoked each day, the more risk goes up.

    Smoking also causes cancer of the voice box (larynx), mouth and throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, and stomach, and causes acute myeloid leukemia. Source.

    FACTS: One year after passing smoking bans, communities in North America and Europe had 17 percent fewer heart attacks compared to communities without smoking restrictions, and the number of heart attacks kept decreasing with time, according to a report in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association. Source.

    FACTS: If you quit smoking, you will:

    1. Prolong your life. According to the American Heart Association, smokers who quit between ages 35-39 add an average of 6-9 years to their lives. Smokers who quit between ages 65-69 increase their life expectancy by 1 – 4 years.

    2. Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease. Quitting smoking reduces the risk of repeat heart attacks and death from heart disease by 50 percent or more. Quitting smoking also reduces your risk of high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease and stroke.

    3. Reduce your risk of developing a variety of other conditions including diabetes, lung cancer, throat cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, chronic asthma, ulcers, gum disease and many other conditions.

    4. Feel healthier. After quitting, you won’t cough as much, have as many sore throats and you will increase your energy.

    5. Look and feel better. Quitting can help you prevent face wrinkles, get rid of stained teeth, improve your skin and even get rid of the stale smell in your clothes and hair.

    6. Improve your sense of taste and smell.

    7. Save money. Source.

    FACTS: What Happens When You Quit:

    After 20 minutes
    o You stop polluting the air
    o Your blood pressure and pulse decrease
    o The temperature of your hands and feet increases

    After 8 hours
    o The carbon monoxide level in your blood returns to normal
    o Oxygen levels in your blood increase

    After 24 hours
    o Your risk of heart attack decreases

    After 48 hours
    o Nerve endings adjust to the absence of nicotine
    o Your ability to taste and smell begin to return

    After 2 weeks to 3 months
    o Your circulation improves
    o Your exercise tolerance improves

    After 1 – 9 months
    o Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease
    o Your overall energy level increases

    After 1 year
    o Your risk of heart disease decreases to half that of a current smoker

    After 5 – 15 years
    o Your risk of stroke is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    After 10 years
    o Your risk of dying from lung cancer drops to almost the same rate as a lifelong non- smoker
    o You decrease the incidence of other cancers — of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas

    After 15 years
    o Your risk of heart disease is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    If you smoke again (called a relapse) do not lose hope. Seventy-five percent of those who quit relapse. Most smokers quit three times before they are successful. If you relapse, don’t give up! Review the reasons why you wanted to become a nonsmoker. Plan ahead and think about what you will do next time you get the urge to smoke. Source.

    2. Maintain a Healthy Body Weight

    QUESTION: How many people get cancer by being overweight or obese? How many die?

    FACTS: In 2002, about 41,000 new cases of cancer in the United States were estimated to be due to obesity. This means that about 3.2 percent of all new cancers are linked to obesity.

    A recent report estimated that, in the United States, 14 percent of deaths from cancer in men and 20 percent of deaths in women were due to overweight and obesity.

    Colon cancer occurs more frequently in people who are obese than in those of a healthy weight. An increased risk of colon cancer has been consistently reported for men with high BMIs.
    Source.

    FACTS: Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as “overweight” and “obesity,” the risks for the following conditions also increases:

    * Coronary heart disease
    * Type 2 diabetes
    * Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
    * Hypertension (high blood pressure)
    * Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
    * Stroke
    * Liver and Gallbladder disease
    * Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
    * Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
    * Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility) Source.

    3. Eat Whole Foods, Not Processed

    FACTS: The statistics are alarming:

    – One in three people will get cancer at some time in their life

    – Heart disease is the leading cause of death

    – Poor nutrition and physical inactivity together are the second
    actual cause of preventable death in the United States

    On the other hand new evidence shows that:

    – Eating five or more fruits and vegetables per day cuts cancer
    risk in half

    – People who eat more fruits and vegetables have a 30% lower risk
    of premature heart attack than people who eat a few

    – About 25% fewer strokes are projected for adults who eat 8 or
    more servings of fruits and vegetables per day

    – Fruits and vegetables may help keep blood sugar down and control diabetes.” Source.

    FACTS: Processed meat consumption results in 67% increase in pancreatic cancer risk.
    Source.

    FACTS: Inorganic phosphates are found in a variety of processed foods, including meats, cheeses, beverages and bakery products. They are added to increase water retention and improve food texture. Studies suggests a diet high in inorganic phosphates could speed growth of cancerous tumors and contribute to the development of tumors in those predisposed to the disease. Source.

    FACTS: Carcinogens in foods that may be naturally-occurring, caused by preparing or cooking certain foods, or added to it, include safrole, estragole and benzene. Processed foods such as sausages, bacon and canned meats contain high amounts of the preservative nitrite, another known carcinogen. Other carcinogens to look for in food products include:

    * acetaldehyde
    * acetamide
    * azo color and compounds
    * benzidine
    * bis (2-Chloromethyl) ether
    * cadmium
    * chlorinated parraffin waxes
    * 3,3-dichlorobenzidine
    * dichloromethane
    * hexachlorobenzene
    * polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons
    * polychlorinated dibenzodioxins
    * polychlorinated dibenzofurans
    * sillica
    * trichloroethylene

    Though it is impossible to avoid every known carcinogen, to decrease risk of cancers and other illnesses, a balanced diet with more unprocessed, whole foods can decrease risk of some cancers and other diseases such as type two diabetes and heart disease. Source.

    FACTS: Nutrients in Whole Foods that Protect Against Cancer:

    1. Vitamin A: Strengthens the immune system. Essential for mineral metabolism and endocrine function. Helps detoxify. True vitamin A is found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil; fish and shellfish; and liver, butter and egg yolks from pasture-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin A than the typical modern American diet.

    2. Vitamin C: An important antioxidant that prevents damage by free radicals. Found in many fruits and vegetables but also in certain organ meats valued by primitive peoples.

    3. Vitamin B6: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Contributes to the function of over 100 enzymes. Most available from animal foods.

    4. Vitamin B12: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Found only in animal foods.

    5. Vitamin B17: Protects against cancer. Found in a variety of organically grown grains, legumes, nuts and berries.

    6. Vitamin D: Required for mineral absorption. Strongly protective against breast and colon cancer. Found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil, lard, shellfish and butterfat, organ meats and egg yolks from grass-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin D than the typical modern American diet.

    7. Vitamin E: Works as an antioxidant at the cellular level. Found in unprocessed oils as well as in animal fats like butter and egg yolks.

    8. Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA): Strongly protective against breast cancer. Found in the butterfat and meat fat of grass-fed ruminant animals.

    9. Cholesterol: A potent antioxidant that protects against free radicals in cell membranes. Found only in animal foods.

    10. Minerals: The body needs generous amounts of a wide variety of minerals to protect itself against cancer. Minerals like zinc, magnesium and selenium are vital components of enzymes that help the body fight carcinogens. Minerals are more easily absorbed from animal foods.

    11. Lactic Acid and Friendly Bacteria: Contribute to the health of the digestive tract. Found in old fashioned lacto-fermented foods.

    12. Saturated Fats: Strengthen the immune system. Needed for proper use of the essential fatty acids. The lungs cannot function without saturated fats. Found mostly in animal foods.

    13. Long-Chain Fatty Acids: Arachidonic acid (AA), eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) help fight cancer on the cellular level. They are found mostly in animal foods such as butter, organ meats, cod liver oil and seafood.

    14. Co-enzyme Q10: Highly protective against cancer. Found only in animal foods. Source.

    In closing: I truly hope that you will begin living these simple lifestyle changes. If you are non-smoker, not obese, and already eating whole foods, then I challenge you to help to spread this message to as many people as you can. All of the suffering and the disease mentioned above is not necessary. It can be prevented.

29 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing your process.

    Another technique that I've learned about (and used) is stomping your foot, knocking on something, picking up an object and dropping it or any other process that re-establishes rational cause and effect.

    It sounds simplistic, but it can derail an irrational thought spiral.

  2. @JC – I have to admit that when I first read your comment, I thought it was a mean joke. But then when I read it over, it made perfect sense!

    It is amazing how simple things can really "bring us back" when we need it. That's a great suggestion and thank you so much for sharing it.

  3. Dena,

    Great advice. I breathe deeply throughout the day – either when meditating or simply following my breath – to combat anxiety.

    It's so easy to let negative thinking strangle you, figuratively and literally, if you allow it too. Anxiety is like a cascade of negative thoughts which feels like it's never going to end. Both sides of my fam have members who suffer from some mental disorder. I followed in their footsteps before I took control.

    Realizing that you have the power to control your thoughts and feelings is the turning point.

    Thanks for sharing your insight.

  4. @Ryan – I am happy to hear that you have overcome your struggles with anxiety. Life is incredibly different once you get past the fear, isn't it? For me it was sort of a re-birth.

    Breathing throughout the day, as you mentioned, is an excellent way to "pro-actively" avoid the build up of anxiety/stress.

    Thank you so much for sharing!

  5. Very nice move!

    JC is right about finding something real.

    I don’t comment much, but I do read along. It’s very cool to see you growing your work.

  6. @Dave Doolin – I really appreciate it, Dave! So glad to hear that you are reading along. I really appreciate your support.

    I loved JC’s advice, too.

  7. A year ago I read a book on CBT to take care of someone close to me who had difficulty controlling her emotions. Did not know it worked for depersonalization (or flying experience?). Will share your story with a friend of mine who had that experience and see what she says.

    1. I have not heard of flying experience though I am sure that it is the same thing. The sensation of flying (outside of the body in the air) can definitely be a symptom of depersonalization. I will be very interested to hear your friend’s response to CBT. It is life-changing! Wishing her the best of luck. 🙂

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  9. i am very happy to find your website. i just want to discuss something. actually i had anxiety from my childhood , i fear when i see any mad people, i feel that some instances that happened with me are unusual , and i get anxious. but every time in my child hood i was able to handle it myself. but this time after many years i am 22 now suddenly i got some sensations after seeing a movie where some kind of mental disease was shown, and i got a panic attack, and after that i am not feeling as the person i used to be i can see the reality but i am not feelng it, i am not feeling myself, strange thoughts come tomy mind when i see objects , i use to question myself about the existance of the objects , i use to check myself whether my mind is all right or not , but i get assured that i know the reality and i remember everything but i cannot feel it, i try hard to change my mind, but i am not successful, is this the symptom of depersonalization and derealizaton, my doctor assured e that i am not going mad and this is due to anxiety, but how can i returm to the person i was. please help me.

    1. Your doctor is correct. You are not going mad – AT ALL – the symptoms you are experiencing are very common and are a direct results of panic attacks, anxiety, and depersonalization. Your condition is severe and I am certain that you will overcome it.

      I would highly suggest seeking a therapist and pursuing Cognitive Behavior Therapy — I did it and it saved my life.

      Best of luck to you & I am sending you love & positive energy.

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  15. Despite the evidence, I still always feel like I’m the only person on the planet who has ever suffered from anxiety (and especially depersonalization!) I don’t know if people just don’t talk about it – it’s not exactly fun dinner conversation – or if we really are a select few, but I do know that it helps me immensely every time I hear a story of recovery like yours. Not only do you say you can manage your anxiety, you’ve even gone on to become confident, comfortable in your own skin and able to speak in front of large crowds. That’s amazing! And I’m so inspired by you.

    I have always been told that I was talented, aware, an “old soul” etc. etc. – but I think that was because I worried and over analyzed a lot. Like you, anxiety’s been with me my whole life. I’ve tried a lot of things, including CBT, and it has seemed to be the only thing to help. I like that you mention it can sometimes take years. I always try to remind myself that it’s like any other disease you have to manage daily, like diabetes.

    It’s such a strange thing to experience, because when you try to articulate your worries, they sound SO NORMAL. But to actually FEEL them is so different. I know it might seem ridiculous to others that I am literally deathly afraid that I look awkward, or that I’m deathly afraid I am inherently different than other people, but those are my fears. And to me they’re very real….however irrational.

    Anyway, I’m writing you a book,but I just wanted to thank you for writing this.

  16. Always, Say everything in the life Is Possible.
    Winners dont do different things,They do things differently.
    try, to realize that world is the place where u can explore ur talent.
    depersonalization, its the fact live in dream.
    come to the realty,Nature has given good things surrounding u,

  17. Thanks so much for sharing. Your story truly made me feel better! I’ve been suffering from anxiety all my life, but just recently started experiencing depersonalization and severe panic attacks. I’ve been seen by a psychiatrist and a psychologist, who both say I’m not crazy – just that I have anxiety issues. I’ve been wanting to take medication because I’m so tired of feeling this way (especially the depersonalization – I hate it, it scares me so much). What do you think about medications? Or do you firmly believe that there is a natural way to fix the disorder? Thanks for your help!

    1. Hi Rheana– I firmly believe that there is a place for medicine. I was on medicine for 6 years. I believe that it assists in the process and it should be a PART of a holistic plan including therapy, a healthy (organic/whole foods) diet, and exercise. The end goal should be to treat the underlying issue, never to use medicine as a band-aid. But everyone is different some people need medicine temporarily, some forever, some not at all. Still, the main priority should be treating the root and not just the symptoms. Best of luck to you.

  18. Hi all I’ve been experiencing anxiety for the last 3-4 months as as well as depersonalisation, I’m 34 with a beautiful fiancé and 2 wonderful children, I have had it before when I was about 22 and I’ve gotta say it’s hands down the hardest most debilitating ailment someone could ever have, it ruins my confidence and my ability to have a relationship with my famil.
    I’ve recently started to see a therapist who’s trying me with CBT and Hypnotherapy and I’ve just been put on a course of meds from my GP for anxiety & depression, so watch this space and fingers crossed I suppose. Keep soldiering on people

  19. Hey guys, I’ve been suffering from panick attacks, anxiety, depersonalisation etc etc, for 25 years, I don’t know what caused it, but it went away after I learned to control it, and I had 10 years of peace, until recently, the past 10 days have been awful, much worse than before, constantly scared of dying, can’t get a breath etc, really bad depersonalisation, like I’m finding everything seems strange to me, even my own home, tried all the old techniques, breathing etc, no result, can’t even do simple things like eat.. Any advice? Thanks in advance

  20. Wow! Great article! I had a period in my life during which I suffered debilitating panic attacks – I would even wake up in the middle of the night with them. It’s important for us to share our stories with others so they know they are not alone.

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