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If you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it.

evolutionyou.net | Lead with Heart

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. I agree. Fact: Most people are insane. The cure for this insanity is awareness. (In fact, awareness is the cure for most things.)

There is a pattern among living things—we do what we know. In the morning my cat wails like a wounded baby until I give her attention. The vines on my cucumber plant pull themselves toward the sun. I worry about everything.

None of us creatures take note of what we are doing. Even if we’re not getting the results we’re after. Even if it’s making us miserable. Even if we’re doing the same thing over and over and getting nowhere. We just do it because it’s what we know.

Living things require a catalyst for change. The catalyst can be trial and error, evolution, or necessity. Examples:

  1. If my cat scratches at my door for twenty minutes and I ignore her, eventually she will try something else.
  2. Animals evolve over time to better adapt to their environment. The Hudson river has become so toxic that the small fish that inhabit it have grown immune to the toxicity. Moreover, in the past decade they’ve actually evolved to thrive on that toxicity.
  3. The natural habitat of black bears in New Jersey has been almost entirely destroyed. There is little left for them to eat, less fish, less plant life, etc. To avoid starving, they’ve become scavengers. We can’t leave our garbage out overnight.
  4. Our cucumber plants crave sunlight. If we put a potted plant half in the shade, half in the sun, the plant will literally pull itself into the light.

But there is a difference—something that separates us (humans) from the rest of the living things. That difference is awareness. We are not doomed to the fate of the cat, the fish, the bear, the cucumber plant. If we practice awareness we can create positive change in our lives without impetus, without a catalyst. We can observe the world around us, the things that happen to us, and we can knowingly, willfully alter our paths.

We do not have to wait until it’s necessary, until there is no other choice, until we are miserable, unhealthy, afraid, and desperate. We can create positive change now.

What is it for you? What are you doing over and over again, even though you are craving a different result?

The answer that you’ve been searching for is not so far away. The result that you’ve been hoping for is actually within reach. The key to all of this is simple. Live with your heart. Lead with your heart. If you cannot put your heart into it, then take yourself out of it.

The soul is a tiny thing that brings us peace and joy when we let it swim/fly. —Mark Nepa

Stop doing things that you hate to make other people happy. Stop sabotaging your dreams because you are afraid of failure. Stop making excuses and avoiding the hard work that will make your goals a reality. Stop worrying. Stop the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

Today is the day. It’s the only day that matters.

In love & light,
Dena

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

9 Comments

  1. I’m trying to be more like the cucumber… forever crawling towards the sun.

    I like that.

    And you’re right. Lead with your heart, because today is the day that matters.

    1. Forever crawling towards the sun…

      This is a life well-lived, my friend. Pursuit of happiness, pursuit of light. What else is there? 🙂

  2. It’s like animals and bugs and even vines have this consciousness and brilliant adaptability. I know it’s called “survival”–but I think there is some clear-clean phototropic awareness. We are saturated in self-awareness and it keeps us in puddles of mud.

    I am wholly there when you realize you don’t have to go to rock-bottom to re-boot your awareness. My decision to stop drinking (1yr ago), was a quiet, calm choice. It was a wonderful, whisper–“enjoy the clarity and the tummy of life without beer.” Done. Awareness. Happy.

    Bzzzz,
    M

    1. Brilliant, Mark. Yes–clear-clean phototropic. Perhaps a total lack of awareness? The essence of not knowing (not worrying, not trying) and just being. That nature has the ability to just be, like water. Maybe to embrace awareness is, in actuality, to let it all go? ♥

  3. I like to think that I use my heart in everything I do. Some say it can get me in trouble becasue I am too quick to use my heart. I think it’s led me in the right direction and those logical mind oriented people can bug off. 🙂 Love it Dena and love you!! 🙂

    1. I struggle with it all of the time, Meg. I lead with my heart, as well. So much so that at times I feel like it’s dragging me around–up, down, through the mud. Ya know? This morning, in my person journal, I posed a question. I wondered, “Would my life be easier if I could just stop feeling so much?” And then I answered myself. “Yes. It would. But it would also be more boring and less brilliant.”

      Love you so much! xo

  4. Following the heart is a scary business. I know, because I am in the midst of it. It doesn’t come without some lost sleep and worry, but I know I am on the right path.

    And, I know it will take me where I want to go.

    xo

    1. A scary business indeed. I know all about the lost sleep aspect of it — it picked me up at 3:30 a.m. last night & never put me down. But, like you, I know that it’s worth it.

      We’re exactly where we need to be. Love you so much. xo

  5. Funny I just read a fortune from a fortune cookie:)Its says:
    Life is a tragedy for those who feel,and a comedy for those who think….
    I find it amusing because i am such a feeler,however I am also a thinker…
    So that must be the balance,to have a little of both….
    I find myself aware of the imbalance of my nature,and the continual repeating the same behaviors,I am aware that it gets me no where,and yet i keep hoping for some change..I am aware i could do something different,however I am not aware of what makes my heart happy,besides Love….I have my childrens,and that of my husband,so he says….thats is my sadness…he says,but yet i don’t feel it…there is no show of affection,and that is what drives me crazy….its the same over and over,no new results…so,how do I pull out of something that keeps me half way there?

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