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No Alcohol November

evolutionyou.net | wine

I have a love/hate relationship with alcohol. When I love it, I really love it. When I hate it, I really hate it. Alcoholism runs in my family. Which I’ve found as I’ve gotten older, is much more common than I ever imagined. I definitely wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am an alcoholic (although if I am being honest, the thought has crossed my mind). But I would say that sometimes I go too far. I really love that buzzed feeling—perhaps too much? Booze is such an excellent crutch/cure-all for awkward social situations/mind eraser/good time in a bottle. But… it’s also a terrible thing to need.

There were times in my life that I abused the substance. Two times in particular come to mind—college and the period after I lost 70 pounds and felt confused/uncomfortable in my new shell. Today, I’ve got a better handle on it, but I still have habits that I want to change. For example, it’s difficult for me to be content with one or two drinks. I always want four or five. I’ve never been able to shake that juvenile feeling that drinking without “getting drunk” is pointless and boring. I am an adult and I should be able to have a glass of wine with dinner and be satisfied with that—not crave three more.

So, after being inspired by a friend who recently decided to cut out weekday drinking and limit her intake on the weekends, I’ve decided to embark on a 30-day booze-free adventure. Ny friend reports, “I’m feeling a lot better and have more motivation. My productivity is definitely at an all-time high.” Motivation? Increased productivity? Count me in!

I am not planning to go alcohol-free forever, but I am looking forward to seeing what happens during my 30 days without it. This month, I am ramping up my efforts to be my best self. I am finally getting back to yoga and I’m hell bent on finally finishing/releasing my first ebook. I’m also hoping that I will see other benefits to my health, maybe even weight loss & increased energy, which is commonly reported by those who give it up.

I’m planning to allow myself two drinks on Thanksgiving, but other than that I’m going to be flying without my wine crutches for the next month. Instead of relying on a couple of glasses after a stressful day, I will meditate, take a walk, stretch, or write it out.

I’ll keep you updated on my progress. Wish me luck!

In love & light,
Dena


For information and resources regarding detox programs & more, check out detox.net.

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    Is Your Resume a Hallmark Card?

    This is a guest post by David Pinkley, The Resume Sage.

    How do you describe yourself in your resume: team player?…quick learner?…detailed oriented? Do you really believe those self-proclaimed descriptions? Consider this: so does everyone else. That’s the problem. When it comes to describing ourselves we use the same words as everyone else. I know this because in 15 years working as a professional resume writer and executive recruiter I’ve seen nearly 40,000 resumes. Virtually all of them used works like: high energy, results oriented, uniquely qualified, detailed oriented, out-of-the-box thinker…and the list goes on. I call these Hallmark words.

    What is a Hallmark word? Example: You go to the store to buy a greeting card for your Sweetie whose birthday is approaching. You are overwhelmed because there are so many cards to choose from. You select your first one and it says something like: “May you experience all things bright and beautiful on your special day. Happy Birthday.” It’s a nice try but the message is contrived so we put the card back and pick another. The second one says: “Here’s a card just for you. You’ve always been tried and true. Happy Birthday.” Again, nice words but the message isn’t meaningful. (Who writes this stuff!?) You repeat this process numerous times until you find one with a message that resonates: “It just always felt right…and it always will. Happy Birthday.” Found it. You’re done.

    Hallmark words are words that look great on paper but don’t have any real meaning. It’s the same with resumes. Certain words look great on resumes but they are meaningless. If everyone says they’re a quick learner those words become diluted. (Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant.) Using Hallmark words on your resume will make it seem just as contrived as most greeting cards. The reader (i.e. hiring manager) won’t believe your message and will continue reading other resumes in search of one that resonates.

    The reality is we really don’t know how to describe ourselves. So we borrow words from other resumes and convince ourselves that these words really describe us. We don’t realize they have no meaning. Great resumes find authentic ways to communicate familiar themes. How do you do that?

    If you are really honest with yourself – you probably don’t know what you really do anyway. The only way to discover exactly what makes you unique is to look closely at your job. This takes introspection and self examination; a process most people dread because it seems like hard work – hence why most resumes are homogeneous. This is difficult to do for yourself. Self examination is much easier if you do it with someone else. But that’s another post.

    Blow the dust off your resume and take a look at the words you’ve used to describe yourself. Are they Hallmark words? If they are, you need to recognize that you are not saying anything unique. And no matter how true they are, they are not as meaningful or impactful as you think.

    Have questions? Contact David Pinkley at (704) 358-6000 or david@theresumesage.com. To learn more visit: www.TheResumeSage.com

    David Pinkley is the founder of The Resume Sage, a custom resume writing service. The Resume Sage critiques and writes resumes for accomplished professionals and executives. Those who work with The Resume Sage are purposeful about navigating their careers. They need more than just strong writing skills; they are seeking insights about how to differentiate themselves from their peers/competitors.

    David is a sought-after public speaker and has been featured on local news and NBC’s national news. He earned a B.S. degree from the University of Michigan and started his career in Chicago as a CPA at Ernst & Young and at Bank of America. He has lived and worked as an executive recruiter for 15 years in Charlotte, Raleigh, New York and Hong Kong.

34 Comments

  1. I actually did this in September for about 3 1/2 weeks. I got so much done, my yoga practice was so much stronger, and I felt better in general. The 1st week was the hardest cause I was used to having a glass of wine to wind down at the end of the day. Good luck!

    1. Really?  Thanks so much for sharing, Elle!  I am happy to hear that you had a positive experience. That gives me even more motivation to stick with it!

  2. Great idea! I’m in the same boat – I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic by any means, but I enjoy my wine a little too much for my own comfort. So count me in! This sounds like the perfect personal challenge for November!

    1. Thanks, Lisa!  So excited to hear that you’ll be joining me in the challenge.  Moral support!  Good luck to you and make sure you keep in touch and let me know about your progress.

  3. Good luck, Dena. I didn’t have my first drink until I was in my 30’s, and sometimes I wish I’d never started. This will be an enlightening adventure for us both. xo

    1. Wow!  Thirty!  That is incredible.  I started drinking early… and often.  It was (and to some extent is) a way of life within my family & group of friends.  I’m really looking forward to seeing how this goes.  xo

  4. Good luck Dena!
    I did this too with my husband and it was great fun. After the first couple of days we had a defined taste in teas of all sorts and it wasn’t hard on us at all!

    Have great cleaning 30 days!

    Love, Kathy 

    1. Thanks for sharing, Kathy!  Happy to hear that you guys had such a positive experience.  I’m looking forward to it.

  5. Very Timely Note Dearest Dena!!   My thoughts yesterday where very powerful towards taking such action….Then, this morning I come in to your “burst of inspiring love” Think I’ll be joining you—thank you— make it a great day!

    1. Really, Cindy?  I am so excited to hear that you will be joining me!  Thank you for all of your sweet words.  Love you so much.  Let me know how it goes.  XOXO

  6. I am so excited for you that you’re embarking on this alcohol-less journey. Your first paragraph basically describes my relationship with alcohol as well. Alcoholism runs through my blood as well, so I can relate on so many levels. At first I thought it was going to be the social situations that would be post difficult to handle without alcohol, like “Don’t worry guys, I’m still fun without booze.” But honestly, it’s the after a long day at work glass of wine that I miss the most. So, I too am trying to find a new outlet to release those defeated or stressed feelings.
    xoox

    1. I have a feeling that my evening glass(ES!) of wine are going to be the ones that I miss the most, too.  And I know I’ll be alright on the weekdays, but weekends are going to slay me.  However, I feel like this is really important.  I am hoping that I will prove to myself that I don’t need it to be happy + I hope that by doing so, I can also change my habits.

      Thank you so much for inspiring me to do this, love.  xoxo

  7. I appreciate the honesty of this post. I can relate. Being pregnant three times has taught me the joy of sipping and savoring a good glass of wine. I try to remember that after I give birth and have the green light to booze it up again. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Angie.  You know, it’s so funny that you mention pregnancy.  I am getting married in June and we are planning to try and start a family soon after.  I’ve often thought– “OMG! How am I going to get through nine months without a drink?!”  The next 30 days will be excellent preparation.  :o)

    1. That is fantastic, Manu!  I can’t wait to read about your experience.  I hope that you do write about it soon.  :]

  8. Wow Dena, you hit this one on the head. I echo every sentiment you wrote here. I should probably give up booze for a while too. If for nothing else just to get a little un-clouded in my head.

    1. Thanks a lot, JR.  Writing this has really opened up my eyes to how common this problem(?) is.  I hesitate to say problem.  It’s a fine line because I truly enjoy a good drink or glass of wine and I feel like that’s okay.  But I shouldn’t rely on it.  Ya know?  So I am really hopeful that this experiment will do something positive for me.  Let me know if you decide to join in.

  9. Good luck 🙂 I’m looking forward to your progress. Alcohol has been a touchy thing for me too and your no alcohol November motivates me more that I can go without it for a while too 🙂

  10. I’ve given up the bottle as well. I have a totally addictive personality so I’ve abused every substance I’ve ever tried. My relationships are in ruins and I’ve had to do some soul searching to figure out what’s wrong with me. I wish you all the best, I’ll be walking this path with you! And boy has it been hard watching Boardwalk Empire whilst not drinking!

  11. How is this going? I drink almost every night. Sometimes it’s just a glass but still…. brave soul. Let me know!

    1. It hasn’t been easy, Meg!  I am going to make an update soon.  Long story short, it’s been a challenge (some days harder than others) but it’s been incredibly worthwhile & I am so glad that I am doing this.

  12. Hi Dena, I found your post because Manu linked both of us in *his* post about quitting alcohol. I did a 30 day no-alcohol test for myself two years ago. I was worried that perhaps I was an alcoholic – many of the things you wrote above resonate with how I feel about alcohol. My favorite thing that I learned was that I will just put away any glass in my hand – not just alcohol. If I was at a cafe working on my laptop and drinking cherry coke, I’d go through them as fast as beer or G&T. I just feel compelled to finish whatever is in the glass. Since you mentioned going through 4 or 5 drinks at a time, I wonder, have you noticed anything similar to this during your own 30 day break? Or is it just me?

    1. Hey Drew!  It’s perfect timing because I just now posted my results posted following the 30 day challenge.  “I just feel compelled to finish whatever is in the glass.”  I can totally sympathize with this, though this compulsion haunts me more with food than drink.  I’ve suffered with my weigh tall my life and one of the big reasons is because I love it so much.  No matter how full I feel, I am always compelled to finish what’s on the plate.

      I learned an incredible lot through this challenge.  I just posted my results here: http://evolutionyou.net/no-alcohol-november-results/  Would love to hear your thoughts.  I am going to check out your site now & follow you back on Twitter. 

      Pleased to meet you, Drew!

  13. How have I not found your blog before? I actually just came across it via Drew’s tweet. Yesterday marked the end of my one-year experiment without alcohol, and it was easily one of the best experiments I’ve ever done. I feel like a much more confident and empowered person now, and I have no desire to drink again. My main reason for giving it up was that I used it too much as a crutch. I felt like I couldn’t relax and have fun until I was three drinks deep.

    I hope November went well for you.

    1. Thanks for the comment, Niall.  Really glad we’ve found each other.  I just posted my challenge results this morning.  (http://evolutionyou.net/no-alcohol-november-results/).  I definitely learned a lot.  My relationship with alcohol is forever changed.  I, too, was using it as a crutch, both to deal with stress and to make awkward social situations easier. 

      I’m really glad I did the challenge, even though I mucked it up in the end.  The lessons are invaluable.  I’m now going to check out your site and follow you back on Twitter.  :]

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