On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes
. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.
In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.
Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.
Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).
I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club
generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.
Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.
Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.
The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.
The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.
In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.
Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.
Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.
Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!
Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.
Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).
Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.
The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!
There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.
I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.
Real leaders don’t care.
If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.
There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.
Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.
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What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!
. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—
I actually did this in September for about 3 1/2 weeks. I got so much done, my yoga practice was so much stronger, and I felt better in general. The 1st week was the hardest cause I was used to having a glass of wine to wind down at the end of the day. Good luck!
Really? Thanks so much for sharing, Elle! I am happy to hear that you had a positive experience. That gives me even more motivation to stick with it!
Great idea! I’m in the same boat – I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic by any means, but I enjoy my wine a little too much for my own comfort. So count me in! This sounds like the perfect personal challenge for November!
Thanks, Lisa! So excited to hear that you’ll be joining me in the challenge. Moral support! Good luck to you and make sure you keep in touch and let me know about your progress.
think this is awesome, good luck dena! <3
Thank you, beautiful Crista. <3
Good luck, Dena. I didn’t have my first drink until I was in my 30’s, and sometimes I wish I’d never started. This will be an enlightening adventure for us both. xo
Wow! Thirty! That is incredible. I started drinking early… and often. It was (and to some extent is) a way of life within my family & group of friends. I’m really looking forward to seeing how this goes. xo
I think I shall join you friend…..cheers!
Yay! So excited to hear that, darling. Let me know of your progress. xo
Good luck Dena!
I did this too with my husband and it was great fun. After the first couple of days we had a defined taste in teas of all sorts and it wasn’t hard on us at all!
Have great cleaning 30 days!
Love, Kathy
Thanks for sharing, Kathy! Happy to hear that you guys had such a positive experience. I’m looking forward to it.
Very Timely Note Dearest Dena!! My thoughts yesterday where very powerful towards taking such action….Then, this morning I come in to your “burst of inspiring love” Think I’ll be joining you—thank you— make it a great day!
Really, Cindy? I am so excited to hear that you will be joining me! Thank you for all of your sweet words. Love you so much. Let me know how it goes. XOXO
I am so excited for you that you’re embarking on this alcohol-less journey. Your first paragraph basically describes my relationship with alcohol as well. Alcoholism runs through my blood as well, so I can relate on so many levels. At first I thought it was going to be the social situations that would be post difficult to handle without alcohol, like “Don’t worry guys, I’m still fun without booze.” But honestly, it’s the after a long day at work glass of wine that I miss the most. So, I too am trying to find a new outlet to release those defeated or stressed feelings.
xoox
I have a feeling that my evening glass(ES!) of wine are going to be the ones that I miss the most, too. And I know I’ll be alright on the weekdays, but weekends are going to slay me. However, I feel like this is really important. I am hoping that I will prove to myself that I don’t need it to be happy + I hope that by doing so, I can also change my habits.
Thank you so much for inspiring me to do this, love. xoxo
I appreciate the honesty of this post. I can relate. Being pregnant three times has taught me the joy of sipping and savoring a good glass of wine. I try to remember that after I give birth and have the green light to booze it up again. 🙂
Thanks, Angie. You know, it’s so funny that you mention pregnancy. I am getting married in June and we are planning to try and start a family soon after. I’ve often thought– “OMG! How am I going to get through nine months without a drink?!” The next 30 days will be excellent preparation. :o)
Awesome! I have been on a non alcohol month in october and intend to pursue this until xmas.
It feels reaaly good. I’ll write about it soon.
That is fantastic, Manu! I can’t wait to read about your experience. I hope that you do write about it soon. :]
Wow Dena, you hit this one on the head. I echo every sentiment you wrote here. I should probably give up booze for a while too. If for nothing else just to get a little un-clouded in my head.
Thanks a lot, JR. Writing this has really opened up my eyes to how common this problem(?) is. I hesitate to say problem. It’s a fine line because I truly enjoy a good drink or glass of wine and I feel like that’s okay. But I shouldn’t rely on it. Ya know? So I am really hopeful that this experiment will do something positive for me. Let me know if you decide to join in.
Good luck Dena, I am sure that you will do great.
Good luck 🙂 I’m looking forward to your progress. Alcohol has been a touchy thing for me too and your no alcohol November motivates me more that I can go without it for a while too 🙂
I’ve given up the bottle as well. I have a totally addictive personality so I’ve abused every substance I’ve ever tried. My relationships are in ruins and I’ve had to do some soul searching to figure out what’s wrong with me. I wish you all the best, I’ll be walking this path with you! And boy has it been hard watching Boardwalk Empire whilst not drinking!
Dena…let my know how your ebook goes? I am interested in writing my own.
Hey, Matt! Will do.
How is this going? I drink almost every night. Sometimes it’s just a glass but still…. brave soul. Let me know!
It hasn’t been easy, Meg! I am going to make an update soon. Long story short, it’s been a challenge (some days harder than others) but it’s been incredibly worthwhile & I am so glad that I am doing this.
I did this last year from Nov. 10th through Dec. 10th! I feel the same way as you.
http://www.neverniche.com/p/popular-posts.html <– recapped at days 10, 20, 30.
Hi Dena, I found your post because Manu linked both of us in *his* post about quitting alcohol. I did a 30 day no-alcohol test for myself two years ago. I was worried that perhaps I was an alcoholic – many of the things you wrote above resonate with how I feel about alcohol. My favorite thing that I learned was that I will just put away any glass in my hand – not just alcohol. If I was at a cafe working on my laptop and drinking cherry coke, I’d go through them as fast as beer or G&T. I just feel compelled to finish whatever is in the glass. Since you mentioned going through 4 or 5 drinks at a time, I wonder, have you noticed anything similar to this during your own 30 day break? Or is it just me?
Hey Drew! It’s perfect timing because I just now posted my results posted following the 30 day challenge. “I just feel compelled to finish whatever is in the glass.” I can totally sympathize with this, though this compulsion haunts me more with food than drink. I’ve suffered with my weigh tall my life and one of the big reasons is because I love it so much. No matter how full I feel, I am always compelled to finish what’s on the plate.
I learned an incredible lot through this challenge. I just posted my results here: http://evolutionyou.net/no-alcohol-november-results/ Would love to hear your thoughts. I am going to check out your site now & follow you back on Twitter.
Pleased to meet you, Drew!
How have I not found your blog before? I actually just came across it via Drew’s tweet. Yesterday marked the end of my one-year experiment without alcohol, and it was easily one of the best experiments I’ve ever done. I feel like a much more confident and empowered person now, and I have no desire to drink again. My main reason for giving it up was that I used it too much as a crutch. I felt like I couldn’t relax and have fun until I was three drinks deep.
I hope November went well for you.
Thanks for the comment, Niall. Really glad we’ve found each other. I just posted my challenge results this morning. (http://evolutionyou.net/no-alcohol-november-results/). I definitely learned a lot. My relationship with alcohol is forever changed. I, too, was using it as a crutch, both to deal with stress and to make awkward social situations easier.
I’m really glad I did the challenge, even though I mucked it up in the end. The lessons are invaluable. I’m now going to check out your site and follow you back on Twitter. :]